Really like this guy

katie99

I met a guy for a business meeting recently and got on fine with him. We've had a few meetings since to discuss a biz project. We end up chatting about ourselves and I've grown fond of him. He told me he is living with his gf. I sense he likes me and there seems to be a connection between us.
Thing is I really fancy him. He is everything I would want in a guy.
My gfs say I should some how let him know I like him. Or be direct and tell him I like him. And see what happens.
I never planned on having feelings for a guy I would meet at a biz meeting, it just happened. On the one hand I feel guilty about my feelings and on the other I would like to know him better.
What should I do?

Barracudaincork

katie99 wrote: »

My gfs say I should some how let him know I like him. Or be direct and tell him I like him. And see what happens.

Ask those same girlfriends how would they feel if a business associate did this to their live-in boyfriends and if they are fine with it and think its a great idea for another women to move in on their turf, then go for it!!!!

On the other hand you could act professional and decent and leave an attached man alone, your call really.

Miss Fluff

katie99 wrote: »

He told me he is living with his gf................What should I do?

Stay well away. He's already attached. Are you on here looking for approval to potentially go and ruin a relationship?

G-Money

Sorry OP but I agree with the previous posters. In my mind there is no decision here. He's taken so you should do the honourable thing and keep quiet and just be professional and friendly and nothing more.

Do you really want to potentially wreck his relationship? Also, you don't seem that bothered at all about the fact that he already has a gf and that you might possibly ruin things for them.

miss5

This guy has a girlfriend so he is off limits.
You shouldn't even be considering it, How would you feel
if someone was doing that to you?

ApeXaviour

What is it with some* women and their fascination with attached men? When they say "all the good men are taken" captain subtext is shouting "I'm only attracted to taken men".

If I've the hots for a girl and find out she's taken it's immediate foot on the brake and looking elsewhere. Unless I've very strong evidence their relationship is going down the toilet and even then nothing will happen until it's over. If her other half is someone I'm friendly with... good night, she might as well be a painting that talks. I believe this is true for all the males I've chosen to be friends with.

Chris Rock put it quite well:

Chris Rock wrote:

Women HATE women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for 25 years, you put a man in between them, "Fuck that bitch, " "Fuck that bitch." Guys are not like that. Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Aww man, shes nice, I gotta get me a girl LIKE that." If a woman introduces her new man to here girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes "I gotta get HIM, and I will slit that bitches throat to do it." Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man.

OP don't be arsehat, imagine someone doing that to you. Leave him alone, there are many many many probably better single men out there.

*I'm not woman bashing, equally some men have an inability to practice fidelity. These people deserve eachother.

Jessiegirl

He has a girlfriend. No need to ask, don't go there.

katie99

So you guys are missing one point.
This guy has been just as friendly with me and very open.
What's wrong with telling him I like him?
I don't want to split their relationship.

Southsider1

katie99 wrote: »

What's wrong with telling him I like him?
I don't want to split their relationship.

Are you winding us up here? If you do tell him you like him you run the risk of splitting their relationship. Why n ot find a guy of your own?

Silverfish

katie99 wrote: »

So you guys are missing one point.
This guy has been just as friendly with me and very open.
What's wrong with telling him I like him?
I don't want to split their relationship.

So what are you hoping to achieve by telling him how you feel?

LegacyUser

katie99 wrote: »

What's wrong with telling him I like him?
I don't want to split their relationship.

Really? so by telling him, your not hoping that he's going to think 'hey, I'll break up with my girlfriend for you?'... or is it that you want him to stay with his girlfriend and have you as a bit on the side. This has to be a joke. I honestly cannot believe people with the mentality of yours exists. And I'm female by the way. Any guy with a girlfriend is completely off limits. That's sort of the common decent non said rule.

Darlughda

katie99 wrote: »

I sense he likes me and there seems to be a connection between us.
Thing is I really fancy him.

On the one hand I feel guilty about my feelings and on the other I would like to know him better.
What should I do?

Feck it. Be bold and let him know about your feelings. This could be an opportunity for you and him to met the right person and be together. A truly healthy relationship and a decent guy will put you at ease where he stands.

What will you lose? A bit of dignity and a wallop of cringe/embarrasment at worst? Small price to pay when the risk could result in something amazing. Also. being bold and asking straight out does not whip you of your inherent dignity and grace, in fact it adds to your self assuredness of a woman in touch with her feelings and desires to ask these honest questions.

Your feelings are genuine please try not to feel guilty. The relationship business is his problem to sort, not yours, if as you suspect the feelings are mutual.

Barracudaincork

katie99 wrote: »

So you guys are missing one point.
This guy has been just as friendly with me and very open.
What's wrong with telling him I like him?
I don't want to split their relationship.

Maybe he is being friendly with you as shock horror he likes you as a friend???!!! And/or he knows that you know he has a live in girlfriend so he knows you know he is off limits so the friendship is safe etc

If you dont want to split their relationship then why would you tell him? So he knows and can tell his girlfriend and they can all look at you with sympathy? No you want to tell him so he does break off with her.

Ok lets say for arguements sake you do tell him, he dumps her and you get together and low and behold he is working with a "new" collegaue who he likes as a friend, what makes you think he wouldnt do to you what he did to this current partner? Or do you somehow "know" your so much better than her and that would never ever in a million years happen to you?

If he was married, would you still tell him?

m@cc@

If this guy isn't happy with the woman he's with then he shouldn't be with her in the first place. Dating isn't a 'trading up' process.

D rog

The guy told you he's attached, and now that you know that is simply friendly and comfortable with you.
I imagine if you do tell him it could be one of the most cringey uncomfortable situations you'll ever be in. The poor guy. He'll probably say he's flattered and then remove himself from the situation (if he's decent).
If he's not decent, you want to be his bit on the side? Is that it?

What exactly do you think we're missing? Is this one of your first jobs? Because you just don't do this kind of thing at business meetings.