I can't get ex out of my mind

LegacyUser

Have been apart from ex girlfriend for a few years. Have not seem her or anything. In last 6 months she is on my mind a lot.(dont know why) Do anything to get her out of mind. Reminds me of the last scene in fight club film. I have done everything I can do to forget her.

Dont like to hear plenty fish in the sea thing, and also people say go after what you want but you cant have that etc.

What have people done to finally forget a person- does a load of one night stands help, drink, drugs, therapy etc

anomalous

sounds like you dont have anything to focus on at the moment so you are remembering the good times you had with your ex - maybe looking through rose tinted glasses like everything was so good when i was with her etc

but think about it - i dont know who broke up with who - but ye did break up and for the past few years it hasn't bothered you it is only recently that you are thinking about her

so maybe you should join some activities/teams in the evenings or do something you normally wouldn't do and that way at least you will have less time to obsess about her and how it might have been etc

tweety_bird

dessert wrote: »

Have been apart from ex girlfriend for a few years. Have not seem her or anything. In last 6 months she is on my mind a lot.(dont know why) Do anything to get her out of mind. Reminds me of the last scene in fight club film. I have done everything I can do to forget her.

Dont like to hear plenty fish in the sea thing, and also people say go after what you want but you cant have that etc.

What have people done to finally forget a person- does a load of one night stands help, drink, drugs, therapy etc

First and foremost, from personal experience, one night stands,drink,drugs DO NOT work in the long run. I felt that same for an ex of mine for a long time, thinking back on all the good times we had and how much I missed him. But it was a friend of mine that made me realise that that person was an EX for a reason! Unless you and your ex girlfriend ended the realtionship well who's to say that the issues that broke you up are resolved?

Always try to look to the future rather than the past like I always try to do.Hope everything works out for you x

Darlughda

Maybe get in contact with her to meet up.
That may help in sorting out stuff in your head. Obviously, this well may be head wrecking and potentially heart painful, but nonetheless, it's making it real and out of your head and further decisions and strategies to deal with her loss from your life can be made from a real life encounter.

Cop

This is unbelievably similar to something I'm going through at the moment and was going to post about. Thinking of ex a lot recently, haven't seen her in four years, wondering what to do, etc, etc.

What happened was this. She broke up with me and did some pretty lousy things but when we last saw each other, we were on good terms. She really wanted to stay in touch (we have been in different countries the last 4 years) but after a while of staying close, I basically never got in touch with her. She always contacted me up until recently when there was nothing in a while. I started thinking about her a lot, realised I forgave her for all that went before, and wanted to get in touch, meet up and see if that could help my constant thinking about her.

So I got in touch recently, spoke on the phone. But I wouldn't recommend you do that without knowing the terms of your breakup. Basically I've hurt myself by getting back in touch. She seems to have forgotten whatever we had, and she didn't seem that bothered by me getting in touch. Nonplussed you might say. And it's still narking me and it hurts a lot to think that she doesn't care anymore.

So, the advice. If you were the one that broke up with her, get in touch. If it was the other way around, spare yourself the pain unless you really need to get something off your chest. But tread carefully mate, I really have been hurt by what happened, is happening, with me.

G-Money

Got a bit burned myself by a girl a year or two ago. I don't want to go into the details but the first thing I did was to cut contact. I initially thought a month would be long enough, but soon realised it wouldn't be. After a few months I told her I couldn't do the friends thing and I haven't heard from her since and that is just over a year ago.

To be honest, the way things went still sort of wrinkle with me a bit and annoy me. But f*** it, there's nothing I can do about it. She had her chance and she threw it away so she doesn't get a second one, not that I'm expecting her to want a second chance.

I never expect to hear from her again and I'm pretty certain she has deleted my number at this stage. That's fine with me as I deleted my email and Facebook accounts so she's got no way to get in touch now and I won't ever get in touch with her again.

What I did to get past it was to start going out with loads of other girls. Not all at the same time, but I signed up to dating sites and went out and met loads of girls. I did everything and anything to take my mind of it. I also let myself feel bad about what happened and that was natural, but that I couldn't let it go on forever, as otherwise, she'd win. I always would say to myself "I bet she's off out with some w*******r and not giving me a 2nd thought" so why I should I give her a 2nd thought?

I also got rid of any and all reminders I had of her. I deleted pics, music, emails, anything and everything I had that reminded me of her. There's some stuff now that previously reminded me of her but I can be around it again without it bothering me now.

I also recommend changing your contact details. I came very close to changing my number but in the end I didn't. Seeing she hasn't contacted me for over a year I think it's a safe bet she no longer has my number so I don't need to worry about a text from her popping up. I don't still have her number but I can remember some of the digits so I'd probably know if it was her if she did text. But I wouldn't be planning on replying to it anyway even if she did get in touch.

Hope you get over it soon OP. Good luck.

force majeure

This is the kind off thing that jumps up on you with no warning. Last thing you well want is me adding my story so instead let me say this, even after 10 years you can find yourself getting up some morning and their that face well be stuck in the back off your mind a torment you well need to learn to live with as its not going to go away tomorrow. Maybe you well meet some one who wipes clear you memory's may be not, their no sure fire way off dealing with it.
All I can say is as time goes by the days spent dreaming off what may have being well drop from 7 down words.
keep on plugging away its all we can do.
All the best... FM