Went to gay sauna/now feel bad

LegacyUser

So I'm a 25 y/o gay guy and last night I went to the gay sauna in Dublin. For people who don't know what it is, its basically like a sex club where you pay in and then do whatever you want.

I don't normally go there and don't even have one night stands very often but for various reasons I hadnt had sex in a few months and was very very h0rny and just needed a release. So I went in last night and had sex with 2 different guys. I left feeling satisfied and much more relaxed.

Today I feel kinda depressed about it. I mean I did enjoy it and it was protected etc, but I feel like I have devalued myself or not been respectful of myself by going there. I feel dirty.
What can I do? :-(

tenchi-fan

get a boyfriend and don't go again!

Miss Fluff

Unregguy25 wrote: »

Today I feel kinda depressed about it. I mean I did enjoy it and it was protected etc, but I feel like I have devalued myself or not been respectful of myself by going there. I feel dirty.
What can I do? :-(

Try not to overthink it. It was consensual, you protected yourself. Today you may be realising it's not your bag so if it's not then don't go again. Don't give yourself a hard time about it.

gbee

Sorry, but I guess you're not as gay as you've thought.

I did not know there were [legal] brothels in Dublin ~ maybe if I arranged a raid you'd not feel so guilty.

Can't help [not gay] but there is no health club where I can get opposite sex a couple of times because my wife is, pregnant .. whatever.

Is gay that free?

cafecolour

It's not the end of the world. Consider it a learning experience - you gave it a try, you did it safely, you learned it wasn't for you.

Honestly, anytime I've gone out just to pull (or stayed in and gone online to pull), I never ended up enjoying it that much, so I've stopped doing it. The only good hook-ups I've had was when I wasn't really expected it and just clicked with someone.

Ickle Magoo

It's done now, there is no point in beating yourself up about it. Why do you feel bad anyway? You're a man, they were men, you were protected, it was all consensual - is it really any different to buying a few rounds and having a one night stand?

Anyway, if going to a sauna makes you feel bad then just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Best of luck

tbh

Unregguy25 wrote: »

I did enjoy it and it was protected etc,

that, plus the fact that you were all legal age and gave consent willingly, is all you need to worry about.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. Feel a bit better about it now. I guess it is no different then picking up in a club after a few pints.


@gbee - its not a brothel because you are not paying prostitutes for sex, you pay an entry fee and then everyone inside are just normal guys looking for sex.

Zaph

gbee, please read the part of the charter dealing with unhelpful posts before posting again.

seamus

Remember the first time you ever saw a dirty magazine? You felt great and weird looking at it, but afterwards there was a bit of remorse and fear?

I imagine that this is all that you were feeling. Particularly where you're getting involved in something intimate but at the same time it's loose and easy, you're liable to feel weird afterwards and even guilty.

You didn't do anything legal or morally wrong. You were protected, everything was legal, and everyone came out of the experience having enjoyed themselves. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

LegacyUser

gbee wrote: »

Sorry, but I guess you're not as gay as you've thought.

I did not know there were [legal] brothels in Dublin ~ maybe if I arranged a raid you'd not feel so guilty.

Can't help [not gay] but there is no health club where I can get opposite sex a couple of times because my wife is, pregnant .. whatever.

Is gay that free?

Can't let this post go unchecked. First line I dont think he is in any doubt about his sexuality you miss the point. Second line how would a raid help him. Its like youre trying to show off some power you have which has no value to the OP. Third line so what.
To OP ye as a heterosexual I get that too. Like if I overdid it with women over a period of time, women I had nothing in common with. And it made me feel empty inside. I think its a good learning experience to go through. Make you realise where you want to be.

Dr. Baltar

La Petite Mort is perfectly normal. Just remember the guilt is hormones screwing with you and get on with life.

seahorse

If it doesn't make you comfortable it doesn't make you comfortable, and no amount of telling yourself otherwise will make you feel any different.

ApeXaviour

lol don't worry about it. You were safe, consensual and you had some fun. It's not like this somehow left some magical invisible taint on your soul

This catholic influenced culture ingrains us with some misguided values when it comes to sex. As a result we're chock full of these neuroses and inhibitions. Remember the first times you pleasured yourself? and all the guilt and self loathing that came along with it. Isn't it just ridiculous!

Barracudaincork

ApeXaviour wrote: »

l

This catholic influenced culture ingrains us with some misguided values when it comes to sex.

Ireland is multicultural and multireligious now, other cultures and religions ingrains the same values as RC has/does, i find it bizarre you would automatically assume he is Catholic and there is any religious guilt involved, rather than just feeling guilt as he is human.

OP you had fun, you were safe and you didnt like it, chalk it down to an experience, one you know your not keen on trying again, end of.

ApeXaviour

Barracudaincork wrote: »

Ireland is multicultural and multireligious now, other cultures and religions ingrains the same values as RC has/does, i find it bizarre you would automatically assume he is Catholic and there is any religious guilt involved, rather than just feeling guilt as he is human.

I meant to imply the culture he was raised in, which whatever your race or creed, had a very strong Irish catholic influence. If I assumed wrong and he's foreign or grew up under rock then I apologise.

Other religions are pretty oppressive too yes, baptists don't like you dancing for instance. But catholicism is up there for controlling bedroom antics and denying you any fun.