Sticks and Bones

damselnat

Hi guys, long time lurker, first time poster!! Looking for some feedback on a poem, happy enough with the first few verses myself but looking to improve the last few particularly, I'm sure you guys can help if you'd be so kind
Of course I'm open to criticism/suggestions for the whole thing as well:)



The smoke curls from your cracking lips
Escapes this jail of arms and legs
Lucid, free, and light as air.
Your repose is fifties class,
A hollow femme fatale.
Cool as ice, your mottled skin
that bleeds more often than it should.

The air between us, freezing quiet,
not even thawed by Marlboro Reds
Your frosty gaze sees nothing but
Temptations, Sins and Lies. An iron
woman, will of hardened stone; heart
of ice and limbs like glass, your gaze a
vice to crush my heart.

Diet coke, green tea and cigarettes
Exlax, Hot Rocks - we’ve tried it all
And all the pain of wild dreams
has been our bedfellow for years.
Your tongue cuts through me, sharper than
your hips; but I ignore the insults
and beg before your ice queen eyes.

Your frail arms like Autumn trees and
legs like Iron Maidens
tremble with a hacking cough, wood
peeling from the trunk; another layer
of protection gone, and your starved
limbs that ache with every movement
scream with agony in stillness
and cave further.

Winter, now eternal in your bones,
Slowly dims the glow within your eyes
You take your staggered bow, remove
this livery of lies
And I shall lay you down to rest,
the reaper who survives
Plump pillows at your weary head
tuck in the blankets, pray for “Peace”
And know the Dead
Shall bury the Dead.