Struggling to make a connection with people

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Don't really know what I'm looking for from this but here it goes. Basically while I am on the go a lot of the time my life feels completely empty. I have gone back to college after a couple of years working full time and I'm lucky enough to have held on to my previously full time job in a part-time capacity also, I find the job ok as jobs go.While I get along fine with people at college and at work that's really as far as it goes, I never really meet these people outside of college or work. On occasion, nights out would happen but I don't often get invited because maybe people think I'll kill the vibe or they think I have no interest and want to spare me the embarrassment of them asking me and tbh I have never felt comfortable in the whole club/pub situation so they are probably right.

When I finish college I hope I can hold onto my job as there seems to be nothing much on the horizon but I'm just dreading the routine I'm going to fall into of going through the motions at work, heading home, being camped in front of the telly or wasting time at some pointless activity just to fill the time.I have tried to do new things when time has permitted, I have gone to a couple of evening classes and volunteered for a period and I follow sports and try to attend any match I can get to. I meet a fair amount of people and know a lot of people to wave to or nod at in the street but that's about it.

I find it difficult to get anyway close to people and I have major trust issues. Having had a couple of bad experiences in my past I have always had the tendency to try and keep myself to myself and I can't seem to trust myself to tell anyone anything of importance so my talk with people usually consists of the same old ding-dong being careful not to talk about anything important. I know everyone could say this but I've so much stuff floating around in my head and I have absolutely no-one I feel I can trust to tell.

My family are great and I'm lucky to have them and they'd do anything for me but I can't really open up to them and while they support me they are dissapointed in me that at my age I have never had a relationship, I don't go out on the town having a few beers or do whatever.

It just seems like there is no real purpose to my day. I get through the day, go through the motions in college and at work, make small talk etc. I never feel I can make a meaningful connection with anyone though. I know it takes years of being friends to be able to talk to them about your problems and vice versa but even people I have known for years and get along fairly well with there is always a barrier there and I don't know how to overcome it.

Sorry if this sounds like self-indulgent ranting as I know there are people with far more pressing issues but I just feel I have to get it out of my system. Thanks for listening.

mrsdewinter

I think loads of us are in the same boat. I wouldn't say your work/college mates think you'll kill the vibe, though. If they think about it at all, I'd say they just don't want to put pressure on you because you have so much going on.
As a rule, work drinks are so informal, most of those who turn up haven't been formally invited, they've just moved with the pack from the office. Just turn up. Men have it so easy: they can just turn up, buy a pint and wait for some girl to walk up to them. Enjoy it

AdmiralRazor

The search for real meaning in the endlessness of day-to-day life feels, at times, like hell.

You seem very sensitive to the world. Have you considered maybe seeing a therapist?