his sister

LegacyUser

I have a wonderful boyfriend and i have just met his family , including his sister who is 25 and still lives home . Now I have been with him 3 months and during that time his sister has had a lot of problems she has Fibromyalgia and cann't work because of it and from what he was saying is having a hard time with it . I felt sorry for her and concerned . Over the past few months there has been some lets say episodes and drama with her and she also seems to have some emotional issues one of which includes cutting her self on her arms and legs ( ( she has told him this herself)there is always some issue with her and he has been supportive and the whole family all spend a lot of time looking after her . I was thinking the poor girl is having a hard time of it by all accounts and the family have rallied around to help her . I think my OH is a great person because of his concern and they way he looks after her . Then i met her I don't know what I was expecting but I was shocked she seemed very well and looks well able to look after herself and also was wearing short sleeves and a skirt there was no scars ? would she not have scars? he says she has been cutting herself for years ? i don't want to seem cruel or insensitive but from what i seen it seems she is a drama queen who manipulates every one into runnng around after her .I can't say this to him of course but it does concern me and i don't even know how i feel about it is it my business at all should i leave them to it ?

perri winkles

No it is definitely not your business. You've only been with this man for 3 months. You don't know enough about his family or the sister's past to be meddling.

Anti

She quite possibly is a drama llama. But its not really any of your business at this point. In the case of people who cut themselfs not for attention or a call to help the cuts will be hidden. Top of the arms, thighs and the likes. Your best to just stay out of it and help your boyfriend with any emotional effects it has on him, just be supportive

littlebug

People with fibromyalgia often look like they have no illness. That's actually one of the elements of it that make so difficult to deal with emotionally- the fact that's its essentially an invisible illness and therefore other people tend to downplay it or not believe you have anything wrong at all. People with fibro tend to have good and bad days/ phases. The woman probably did her best to look well and be well for meeting her brothers new girlfriend.

I don't know the girl but I do have some health issues and there is nothing more irritating than someone saying I look fine or I look healthy. I'm not a drama queen but in the past people have implied it because I 'don't look sick'. There are actually very few illnesses you can see. I spend at least one day a week in hospital and most people there look 'fine', you wouldn't know what was wrong with them by looking at them. I don't know what people expect to see. Even if she is a cutter, it's easy to cut where people won't see - torso, etc.

You don't know what's going on. Mind your own business and stop being a busybody/stirring sh*t. I'd be so angry and upset if I was ill and some new girlfriend of my brother's came into my home and judged me. I don't see why you're concerning yourself with it at all, are you jealous of the attention she gets? Perhaps you should be glad you're not sick?

Contessa Raven

Just to say also, that people who cut themselves sometimes don't have very visible scars.
When I self harmed I did it on my arms and legs too but I don't have any visible/noticeable scars. It depends how deep the wound, what was used to inflict it and also how many times the person cut that spot.

Tbh OP, if you go to your bf and tell him how you feel he will prob get very offended. If he has spent a lot of time looking after his sister then I'm sure he's aware whether she is or isn't sick. If I was looking after a sick sibling and my new partner (who only met them for the first time recently) came and said they thought my sibling was manipulative and attention seeking, they wouldn't be hearing from me again.

CR

Melia

You don't know her, and if you speak out you could come out of this looking very bad. I'd stay out of it. It really is none of your business.

The cuts could be somewhere that's easily covered up, or she could have concealed them with make-up, or maybe the scars aren't obvious or have healed well. A lot of cutters will have a particular place they focus on - they don't all go nuts slashing at every available stretch of skin. It could be upper thighs, stomach, inner upper arms, even hidden under a watch. Don't judge her, because you just do not know enough about her or her situation.