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Moving too fast?

  • 08-04-2010 12:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I am with my partner for ten months. I feel that compared to many of my friends our relationship moved fast, but I don't believe in waiting around for years before having serious chats or deciding on where the relationship is going, and thankfully neither does my boyfriend!
    He has decided to leave his house share and rent a small flat on his own so we can have more alone time (for various reasons my place is not suitable for a couple, but we spend lots of time there) so in a sense we'll be living together as we plan to stay in his sa much as possible. We're also planning on buying a house together next year, in the hope that the area we want will reduce in price a little. We've discussed kids and how we want to raise them. He jokingly said if we wanted we could be married in six weeks! We've met each others parents and all is good there.
    I was tellng some friends about this over the weekend and they said they were shocked how fast our relationship has moved. One friend has been going out with her BF six years and is afraid to ask him to move in. Another one just moved in and they are going out five years!
    I don't feel like I should wait around, I'm 29, this is the man for me and I want to have a family. Thank god he wants the same things, so why would either of us stall on moving forward? Do modern relationships not move forward as quickly? His parents got engaged after six weeks and married after a few months-40 years married now. Mine went out for a year and a half and married a few months after they got engaged. What are modern couples waiting for? Should I wait or would it be wasting time?


Comments

  • #2
    stephen_n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    The answer is, whatever you are both comfortable with is the pace it should be going at, there is no perfect timescale as in people who move in early break up just as much as people who wait 6 or 10 years.

    Maybe ask yourself why have your friends questions put doubts in your head, if there is nothing behind it that belongs to you then you should probably dismiss them but if you have doubts yourself that your not willing to look at, then now is the time to look at them!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    stephen_n wrote: »
    The answer is, whatever you are both comfortable with is the pace it should be going at, there is no perfect timescale as in people who move in early break up just as much as people who wait 6 or 10 years.

    Maybe ask yourself why have your friends questions put doubts in your head, if there is nothing behind it that belongs to you then you should probably dismiss them but if you have doubts yourself that your not willing to look at, then now is the time to look at them!

    I just wonder why they are shocked. I mean, what are they waiting for? They want what I have but they are waiting around instead of having these big conversations with their BFs. The woman is afraid to ask him to move in after six years wants to get married and have kids. We have a time we can do this and now is the time. I am not questioning my timing but I wonder why people who want the same things as me and my BF are so reluctant to go for them and wait around. Are they any better off after five or six years when I know they want to get married and have a family? What are the BFs waiting for too?


  • #4
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    too fast wrote: »
    I am not questioning my timing but I wonder why people who want the same things as me and my BF are so reluctant to go for them and wait around.

    Yes you are....
    too fast wrote: »
    Should I wait or would it be wasting time?


    Not sure what your issue is. Live and let live. You can do whatever time you want. Let them do as they wish. Not sure how it is an issue for you or what business it is of yours if you are happy with what you are doing.


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