More than just 'I hate my job' thread...

LegacyUser

Before anyone tells me I'm lucky to have a job, I know that. I know I'm lucky to have a salary and to be able to (just about) pay my bills but please read this and see if you can give me any advice.
Im in this job nearly a year. It is soul destroying. I'm over qualified. I do nothing. I hardly speak all day (because no one speaks in the job). I spend my day shuffling papers around, pretending to be working, and doing my actual work in the last hour of every day, because in theory, my job could be done in 5 hours per week. But I'm not telling my boss that anytime soon.
I have lost my motivation. I have lost my skills that I had gained in the past few years. I can't even motivate myself to look for another job because my confidence is at an all time low. I would have no confidence in an interview, having previously been the most confident woman you could meet. This was a job I took when my previous job made me redundant and i foolishly thought it would only be for a little while.
I can't really articulate what this job is doing to me other than to say that it is destroying my soul, my self worth, my confidence and my self esteem. I sit in a room for 40hours a week, with 7 people who don't speak to each other except for the pleasnantries of the day. I can't leave because I have financial committments. I know how lucky I am, I do know that - all around me people are losing their jobs. But surely, surely, there has to be some element of enjoyment in a job?? I spend the best part of my waking hours there every day...I have become a shadow of my former self....has anyone got any words of wisdom for me please? Even a mantra that I could chant to myself that could get me through my day without sinking into a depression at one minute past nine every morning....please????

krudler

First off, dont listen to this "sure arent you lucky to have a job" nonsense, it seems since theres a recession on we all have to suffer through jobs we hate,theres nothing worse than being in a job you dislike so much. been there, done that, and it really is soul destroying. But only you can muster up the will to change things, so start looking, even if you find ANYTHING that may be more fun or easier or whatever, take it, its just a stopgap to something else really. also, watch the movie Office Space, it puts everything into perspective:)

sambuka41

krudler wrote: »

also, watch the movie Office Space, it puts everything into perspective:)

Love that film,think i'll watch it tonight!!

OP i can relate, we spend most of our day at work, its not unreasonable (even in a recession) to want to at least tolerate that time spent there. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find work that you enjoy.

Would you consider doing an evening class of some sort? I find that having something i am passionate about outside work really helps. Its also a good way of getting out there and increasing your confidence by interacting with people again,esp as the ppl in your office sound delightful to be around:p

mood

If you told your boss you could handle more work and responsibility and get this the day would pass quicker. An evening course would also be good to keep your mind occupied.

LegacyUser

I have asked my boss for more work, but there is none. My job descripton was completely over spec'd at the advertisement level, sounded like a great job on paper, and looks like a great job on paper, but it is the worst job I have ever had. I have no connection or belief in what they do in my job. I really cant go into it any further, I just don't believe in anything we do.

Unfortunately, I cant do an evening course - I am already paying a fortune in creche fees and cant afford to pay extra costs to get out of the house.

Paying creche fees, by the way, to get myself to a job that I deplore...I dont know what to do...

anomalous

you should start looking for something new - it might take a while but at least you will be doing something proactive about your situation instead of just accepting it and letting it crush your spirit bit by bit

good luck

mood

anomalous wrote: »

you should start looking for something new - it might take a while but at least you will be doing something proactive about your situation instead of just accepting it and letting it crush your spirit bit by bit

good luck

+1

LegacyUser

So looking for another job - which I knew was the answer - is the only answer?

Surely there has to be someone who has gotten themselves through this stuff with positive thinking or similar? Anyone???

I know I'm stuck here for a while - at least until I can find another job..and I'm looking for something to get me through the next few months.....im slowly losing it...

niceoneted

I can totally relate to what you are going through. I went through it but luckily changed jobs 2 years ago and got away from it. I am much happier now.
Is there a possibility that you could do something constructive while at your desk as in learn a language on line or something similar? Do they offer flexi time that you could work through lunch and start later or finish earlier.
I used to go to a shopping centre on my lunch break and think I would be happier serving sandwiches/coffees or the likes although I knew I wouldn't have been able to pay my bills.
You really need to look for another job. That confidence is still there in you it's just a little buried but still there and don't forget that.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

Thats exactly what I do.

I walk around coffee shops at lunchtime, just to try to find someone to talk to, to interact with. I want their job...although I know it wouldnt pay my bills. i work in an industrial estate, so finding anyone to interact with is quite difficult.

I feel I have so much more to offer in my life. I feel completely and utterly wasted. I feel like I am wasting my life and I'm at a loss to figure out how I can possibly get my confidence and self-worth back.....

LegacyUser

I hear ya! In a similar situation, well except i'd rather be in your shoes. At least your colleugues don't speak to each other. I get get put down and insulted!

You need to decide on a date and be out of there. Work towards that date, pay off bills, loans, look for work or go on the dole and get out. I have been working on my plan for the past year and a half. Paid of loans and saved, saved and saved some more. I will be going back to college this year and it will be worth it. I can honestly see that light at the end of the tunnel now, after 5 years!

You know you have to, don't mean to sound harsh but stop making excuses, just do it.

LegacyUser

Honestly, I sweartogod that's what I do.

I have a big creche bill and big mortgage every month. Debts, bills and shopping are done and I have very little left so the option of clearing debts earlier or quicker, just isn't there for me. I took a huge cut in salary when I took this job, purely, as I said, because a year ago, I naievely thought it would be short-term.
I just can't see a way out of this hole. It's affecting my whole life...I come home to my child and Im low, I wake up and I'm low...saturdays im generally in good form, but on sundays, the despair kicks in...
I have to get out of there but I cant go on social welfare...I would lose my home and myself and my child couldnt survive and Im consicous that Im a role model for my child, and I want my child to see that working is the way it should be...

amber23

i can completely relate to what you're going through, and everyone says you're so lucky to have a job, its so frustrating! ive actually decided to emigrate for a year, and all i hear is, "you're crazy to leave your job" but my attitiude is, i work to live, i dont live to work" yeah im giving up a job, but what soul will i have left at the end of it???

i took up art classes and french classes, and when they were finished i took up dance classes, i know all of this costs money, but i was lucky in that the courses i chose were cheap, and i know they wont contribute to any sort of further education, but they get me through my week! would you consider voluntry work? or maybe working towards doing a marathon or something? i know that probably sounds crazy, but needing to train for something thats worth while might make you feel more satisfied with yourself..i dont really know what else there is, as you have to pay bills and of course having a child doesnt make it easy to get out and do things whenever you like, but since ive booked this trip away, its lifted this massive weight off my shoulders! maybe you could book something for yourself for a few months time, give yourself something to work towards, its the little things in life that make it all worth while!

just try remember its not forever, you have to remember that and the recession wont last forever either! theres always a way out and you might get lucky and get out of there, but its not gona happen if you dont try get your confidence back and get out there!

i really hope you feel better soon! keep your chin up

niceoneted

Just to add something that amber 23 brought up, when I was feeling the worst that I did about my job that was the year I did the Dublin city marathon. I'm thinking of doing it again this year but for a different reason. If your child is young enough to go in a buggy you could train to walk for the marathon,

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I dont have any words of wisdom for you but just want to let you know you're not alone.

I was let go from my managerial job last year and after a period of surviving on the dole, was so happy to find my current job on half my salary and in a junior position "just to tide me over". I'm still stuck here 9 months later and feel the same as you. I have no interest in my job and find myself making stupid mistakes because I just cant motivate myself at all. I'm out the door as soon as I can every evening and hate thinking about work until 9am the following morning.

I went for a few interviews lately and found my confidence has gone completely. I always had faith in myself and my abilities and used to do great interviews. Now I feel desperate and pathetic and I cant seem to shake that feeling no matter what I tell myself!

I think there's a lot of us in the same boat at the moment and we just have to hang in there in the hope that some better jobs will start appearing soon. An employment agency told me lately that they are seeing some positive signs out there so make sure to keep in touch with as many as possible. You never know when something will crop up

Hang in there - something better will come up. In the meantime make the most of your time outside of work, especially the weekends.

LegacyUser

Can you get away with studying while you're there?

Quite east to do - photocopy pages and put them into a file - read them when you can and if you can get away with it. Get all your work done when you get in and spend the last 2/3 hours studying.

And if you have internet access then all the better.

My brother spent his time in one job learning a language as he had nothing else to do.

I've been in a very boring job with little to do - luckily though I had people to talk to all day long which made up for the tedium.

dan_d

OP I don't know what you do, but there's a jobs fair in East point this weekend, for sthg like 175 jobs. And there are a couple of other places that are advertising at the moment too.

The answer is what you knew it be.....start looking. I know you're looking for a way to keep your head down and get through it, but through what? It's not going to change or get better, so I guess the only thing you can do is get out of it.

Good luck with the job hunt.

alias141282

OP, just a word of caution. Are you sure your mood isn't the problem. What I mean is that if you changed job, within a few months you could end up feeling the same no matter what if your mood is going to drag you down. I often feel like this about my job but I know its just my mood. If you are earning money you could afford to pay to see a counsellor or psychologist and see if you can find some way of bringing more enjoyment to your working day.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, really appreciating your input.

to answer some questions - you ask if I could study there? I could drink a bottle of wine there every day and no one would be any the wiser lol! So yes, studying would be an option that I haven't thought of before...and definitely something to think about.

To answer another question - my mood in generally quite upbeat - I mean you would never guess in work that I feel this way, always smiling, trying my damndest to stay positive. So while I appreciate the advice about counselling (which I probably do need for other reasons!), it's not really the issue here.

I understand what the other poster said about confidence in interviews - I did have one recently ( for a course) and I swear, I was like a shadow of my former self. I almost ended up in tears because I wanted to scream 'I can do this course with my eyes closed but I have lost my confidence in the past while!!!' Still waiting to hear back from that interview...

I started (at least) looking at some websites for jobs today...it's a start I guess...still feel like cr*p tho...sorry...

LegacyUser

I feel exactly the same as you in my job.
I too feel like I'm paying creche fees to be somewhere I hate.

However - rather than just sympathise - which I really really do BTW - I've some ideas for you on passing 35 hours a week!
1. study/learn something - as said above
2. find free books online - and read
3. watch whatever you like on rte player
4. pick a hobby - something you always wanted to try - and find out all about it, how to do it etc etc
5. play online games
6. stumbleupon.com - good luck trying to stop!
7. tweet
8. spend more time on boards :-)
9. redesign/redecorate your home room by room - get photos, swatches, plan layouts etc
10. learn yoga breathing exercises and meditation techniques, especially positive visualisation stuff
11. pay attention to your whereabouts and find about the things around you - for example names of birds or plants, what the companies around you do
12. go travelling via google maps - pick somewhere, go to street view and spend the day walking around paris or new york or london
13. create a blog and write - you have a nice turn of phrase - and typing definitely looks like work!
14. find big think websites like ted.com or whatever floats your boat and read up on things that interest you
15. put a pic of your little 'un as your wallpaper to remind you what a great thing you are doing in providing for them
16. give yourself a virtual makeover
17. do you supermarket shop online
18. give yourself a list of little 'treat things to do today' for every day - and do them.
19. you could always do 'upskilling' stuff rather than some of the above!
20. if you can't touch type - learn - great free stuff online
21. plan menus, holidays, a wedding/event, fitness - do it for other people

Lastly - plan your escape. When things finally turn up - the 65% of people working who hate their jobs (conservative!) will all be looking to move, and we can all find holes the right shape for us :-)

Take care of yourself. Try not to get depressed (not easy - i find it so difficult to stay upbeat). Get into the fresh air every lunchtime without fail and have a brisk walk - nothing like exercise to help you feel better.

Maybe think about taking a half day every Friday during the summer (if you can) and doing something fun with your littley.

This WILL end. You WILL be fine. You are not alone.

LegacyUser

Wow.

Only on boards could someone possibly reply with such an informative and entertaining post that had me enthralled!! I have read it, but I will have to read it again tomorrow to fully appreciate and 'do' all of your suggestions!

Wow.

Thanks so much.

One thing just jumped out at me from your post. You said I have a nice turn of phrase. I want to write. I want to write a book. I have wanted to write a book since I was twelve. Perhaps this is my begining...but where do I begin....

I sometimes think that boardies (having been a lurker for a long time), have no idea what thier input does for people. 'notjustu'...I think you have just given me a 'lightbulb moment' a la Oprah...

G-Money

Sorry to hear that OP. I've been in a similar boat a few times over the years. I remember one job I had when I was away travelling, within a week I knew I was going to hate it. The people were weird and barely spoke to you. Everyone had lunch at their desks and worked through their lunch. On my first day I only got introduced to my team, and no-one else in in the surrounding areas. I soon began to hate working there. I just went ballistic applying for other jobs. I used to drink loads of water so I'd have to go to the toilet more often, to get away from my desk.

At the time, I hated it, but looking back now, it's funny. I know you will be the same.

There was this other time I ended up in a job here and I hated it beyond belief. Again within a week or two, I knew it was bad news. This was worse than anything I'd ever felt. I'd get up in the morning, walk to get the bus and wonder if it was possible for me to get knocked down by a car and injured enough that I wouldn't have to go to work, but not badly enough that there would be any long term damage. I'm serious. I absolutely hated it. Again I just went on the rampage looking for other work and finally I managed to get something, and I took a massive pay cut to get away from the place. I figured it was better to earn less and be happy than to earn more but get up every morning thinking about getting run down by a bus.

I know it's terrible with the recession and people losing their jobs and lots of them will say that we should be glad to be working. While I understand that point of view, it doesn't mean that you're not entitled to be working in something you like.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I know how you feel OP. Have you ever seen the movie about a boy? Its quite good, I'd recommend it if you havn't. Anyway, there is a bit in it where Hugh Grants charachter who does not work, describes his day. He breaks it up into units to make it seem busy. Maybe look at your day in the office s 8 units or 16 half-units. Then plan an activity for each unit/sub-unit. Do up a chart. Hell, doing the chart for planning a weeks worth of units, should take up a unit or two in itself.

You said you are over qulified. Can you clue us into what area you work in? Someone here might be looking for someone just like you.

Would you consider becoming a Mod on Boards? Its something that takes up quite some time, but I think you might feel like you are doing something.

I would agree with the suggestions of starting a blog/twitter. You'd be amazed at how many people follow what smart people say on twitter/blogs, even about mundane things.

The other thing I would suggest is read books. Find some books relted to your area of expertise, or a related subject, and either get them from the library or buy them and read them in the office. Most technical books(IT etc) are very expensive when they first come out, 50 euros plus for many of mine, but second hand books on Amazon are often very cheap. Some of the best books I bought cost less than 5 euros including shipping. If there is no work to do I am sure the company wont mind you up-skilling.

Apart from that keep looking for a job that you would like, there is alot out there, you just need to find it.

Stu

Hey OP ,Go to www.stagevu.com

You can download any movie you want for nothing or stream the movie online. It will keep you entertained for a few hours each day. I know its not very constructive use of your time but it will take your mind off the daily boredom.

Could you not go on the dole and claim rent allowance? You could then put all your free time into finding a job you enjoy and just the fact that you are out of that place will lift your mood even if it does mean claiming the dole for a few months.

LegacyUser

Once again, many thanks guys.

I cant go on the dole and claim rent allowance. I have a mortgage - the SW would pay a percentage of the interest of my mortgage. Contrary to popular belief, single parents dont have an easy life, but that's a whole other thread. Nor would I want to claim from the state...like I said before, being a role model for the little man is part of my plan. You know...the paln where he becomes a doctor or a professional footballer and takes me away from all this..or plan B, where he wins X factor and still takes me away from all this..

Today was another dull and unfulfilling day. Much as I have tried..And I have tried particularly hard since I started this thread..there was nothing that kept me occupied..interested or even entertained. Nothing. I cried walking back to the carpark...
And so it continues....Im trying to create a plan...really trying...the weekend ensues and I wlll enjoy it to the best of my ability..but come sunday night, groundhog day will begin again....

Magenta

Hello OP,
Firstly, you have my sympathy- there's nothing worse than trying to look busy!
However- believe me, you are very lucky that your job is so easy and boring.
I have had incredibly stressful office jobs in the past and you will often find threads on Boards from people stressed out of their minds- people doing the work of 3 people because their 2 co-workers got laid off, etc.
I'm not going to go down the "recession" route and tell you you are lucky to have a job- but do try and appreciate how easy your job is.
Go into a women's clothes shop during a sale on a Saturday and watch the assistants running around stressed out, unable to hear themselves think from the blaring loud dance music all day, dealing with crap from the general public and all for only minimum wage- really, just try and appreciate what you have

I hope it all works out well for you

LegacyUser

As someone in a similar situation who is going to try to put some of these great suggestions to good use, just wondering how you're getting on now OP? Are things looking any brighter?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I normally don't contribute to this forum, but when I saw your post I had to post back.

I left my job over a month ago for similar reasons. I HATED my job, so much so that I was losing sleep and effecting my health.

I was in an office on my own with nobody to talk to, and completely isolated from the rest of my colleagues, and thanks to the Recession had barely enough work to do for one day, let alone for the whole week. I was depressed, lonely and incredibly bored.

I made numerous requests to my managers for more work, to be moved to another office, but they couldnt do anything about it. I stuck with it for over a year, and it got to a stage that I totally resented the place. I was laying awake at night dreading going in the following morning, and feeling phsically ill going in the road in the mornings I was so worked up and upset in myself that I collapsed at home one evening.

NO JOB is worth that kind of misery.

Anyways, like I said I finished there just over a month ago, and although it was not a decision I made lightly, I feel it is the best thing that I could have done. Yes I am out of work, fairly broke will be signing on soon. (Just so you know you will be excluded from 'signing on' for up to 9 weeks if you leave your job voluntarily or get fired). I feel much better in myself for doing what I did. Even though I am broke, I am able to sleep at night.

Dont listen to those people who say 'count yourself lucky'. If they knew how hard it is to get your aSs out of bed in the mornings when you have a whole day of misery ahead of you they would soon change their tune.

LegacyUser

OP here. thanks for that - you've put into words exactly how I feel. I agree no job is worth my health, but I have a mortgage and a young child to provide for and cant walk away from it. I have applied for two jobs this month - havent gotten a reply for either and the interview date has passed, so I obviously didnt get them. Updating the cv did fill me with some positivity but it was back to earth with a bang when I didnt get an interview.

I have honestly never felt like this before in my life. I have been in jobs before that I hated - but for the opposite reasons - too much work, or horrible boss etc.

I continue to count the minutes of my day, desperately wanting to get home to my child at 6pm. I feel so worthless and it has spilled over into my real life (not just my job) which I know is wrong. Nobody values anything I do in work. I have no belief in what we do there either (dont want to go into too much detail, but we're involved in government policy) which is another battle I face daily. ON here early this morning as I continue to look for another job...and desperately hoping there are no tears this morning as I walk to the office...

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Having been there myself, I know exactly how you feel, and I really really feel for you.

First off I would recommend you see your G.P. and have a chat. This is starting to effect your life outside the office, and its time you talked to somebody face to face about your worries.

I totally understand your worries about your mortgage and your young child, and that is where I differ from you. I have neither mortgage or children,(I rent with my partner, so I dont feel I can offer you any decent advice here

Now, I'm not going to tell you to quit your job straight away, but it is definately time to start plotting your escape


While you are in work have you access to the Internet? If so have a look for some recruitment agencies that are located close to where you work. When you go out to lunch, pop into them with your C.V, meet with their rep for your area of work and have a chat. AND KEEP PESTERING THEM. Call/email that person every day, this will keep you in their mind if anything pops up. (If you could do this with more than one agency, even better)

Update your C.V. and 'pretty it up' (I'm not advising you to lie, but there are ways of wordin your C.V. that can make even the most mundane of jobs look important). I have a little booklet that has helped me with this (if you want a copy of it let me know, and I will scan you a copy).

Check online recruitment sites every day!Check your local newspaper, fas, even the notice board in the local supermarket.

Go to your local citizens informtion office, and find out what you are entitled to. I see you havent mentioned a husband/partner in any of your previous posts. If you are single then maybe you can claim for lone parents allowance?

On a personal note, when you get home in the evenings do your best to unwind. The evenings are nice and bright now so get out for some fresh air. Whether you go for a walk with your child, or even sit out in the garden with a cuppa tea or cofee and watch the smallie play. Take a bath in the evenings to help you wind down and get all thoughts of work out of your head.

I really hope you can get past this. Being in this kind of situation really is torture both physically and mentally. There is nothing worse than watching a clock for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. PLEASE go and see your G.P. and tell them exactly what is going on and he/she will be more than happy to help you.

Reflector

hi,
Life is too short for you to be unhappy, my advice is start looking for a new job, do up your CV and get it out there, believe me your skills are still there. You are not being challenged and anyone else would feel the same way.
You are still that confident person but you are just in a rut. sit down tonight and start looking around. Believe me once you get the ball rolling you'll get back your mojo.