Best wedding speeches

MadPatrick

So I'm getting married next week and have to make a speech, and having problems coming up with anything of substance I decided to turn to the beautiful people on AH to guide me in a specific direction.

Basically I'm going to steal your ideas, not all of them of course, just a few to beef up my slight ideas, starting with apologising to her dad for not asking permisision and a couple of jokes mixed in with the regular thanks and stuff.

All in all I got about a minute worth so if people start telling stories of great speeches they heard, alas I'm usually past remembering by the speech stage

AnonoBoy

Imply that the first time you slept together your missus gave you the clap.

That always goes down well with the in-laws

Dilynnio

Congrats on the wedding!

I was at a wedding and the best man started by saying....my speech is going to be as long as it takes the groom to make love to his new wife.....and then he sat down immediately.....it was hilarious!!!a real ice breaker....

Dont be conservative, have a laugh with it!

Hope the day goes brilliant. Enjoy it

NothingMan

My Bro in law.

"I remember when I first told my oulfella I was gonna ask her to marry me and he turned to me and said "You must really love her son" and I said, "nah, she's just great in the scratcher"".

Classy guy, funny though.

Theboinkmaster

Dilynnio wrote: »

Congrats on the wedding!

I was at a wedding and the best man started by saying....my speech is going to be as long as it takes the groom to make love to his new wife.....and then he sat down immediately.....it was hilarious!!!a real ice breaker....

Dont be conservative, have a laugh with it!

Hope the day goes brilliant. Enjoy it

Don't use that - direct rip off from internet. Every second speech on youtbue begins with that, try to be original

Turbulent Bill

MadPatrick wrote: »

So I'm getting married next week and have to make a speech, and having problems coming up with anything of substance I decided to turn to the beautiful people on AH to guide me in a specific direction.

Basically I'm going to steal your ideas, not all of them of course, just a few to beef up my slight ideas, starting with apologising to her dad for not asking permisision and a couple of jokes mixed in with the regular thanks and stuff.

All in all I got about a minute worth so if people start telling stories of great speeches they heard, alas I'm usually past remembering by the speech stage

Just keep it simple and honest. Great speeches are built on people saying what they mean, and delivering it clearly. It's not a stand-up routine, and besides your best man should have a few laughs in his speech so best not to upstage him. It shouldn't have to be too po-faced but it does have to be sincere. There are a few traditional parts to the wedding speeches (basically who's expected to say what) which you should check. Give yourself plenty of time to read over and be comfortable with the speech, and keep it below 5 mins.

I had to do mine a few weeks ago, and though there were naturally a few nerves I really enjoyed it. It's the one time during the day you get to thank all your guests (and your wife), so make the most of it!

Toots

If there's a funny story about how you and your wife met, you could tell a shortened version of that, as it would have sentiment and humour. Definitely nothing smutty, cos that'll just be embarassing for everyone! One thing I can't emphasise enough is keep it clean, ie don't swear! I know it's not something you'd plan on doing, but I was at a wedding recently where the groom and best man were so nervous every second word out of their mouths was f**k. It was awful, just mortifying, and none of the guests were impressed. It was being talked about the whole night!

Basically, from what I've heard, the speech generally goes like this:
Greet everyone, thank them for coming.
Humerous andecdote/story about you and your wife (how you met, getting engaged etc)
Thank the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Thank the parents.
Say something nice about your wonderful new wife and how beautiful she is. (tip if you manage to make her cry, you've done your job!)

This webpage gives some good tips on wedding speeches. Particularly about standing up straight, looking at your guests, and not speaking too fast.

Remember it's something to be enjoyed!! Good luck!

MJ23

You dont thank people for coming to your wedding.
Been at lots of weddings and the groom is standing there, thanking the guests, thanking the parents, thanking the hotel, thanking the staff, thanking the priest, thanking the singer.
Its terrible, the hotel have been paid, they dont need to be thanked, and any people such as relatives and friends dont need to be thanked. They're not doing you a favour by coming to your wedding. If they mean anything, they should be delighted to come to your wedding and be thanking you.
Dont stand there like a plank thanking the grass for being green, and the water for being wet. Its terrible, and can be very cringey listening to some people waffle on.

Emelio

i get mad nervous when i have to say stuff in front of people
my plan is have alcohol before hand to settle nervousness
irish sense of humour funny though so will concentrate on joke

twowheelsonly

My brother (Best Man) got my speech off to a great start by 'tapping' on a glass to call for attention and smashing it into smithereens!!! Still swears that he did it on purpose!!
My own speech started by "thanking everybody for coming and helping me to spend a big wad of cash before my current wife gets her hands on it"... before getting onto all the lovey stuff.
Don't sweat it too much, people know what to expect and will smile at you regardless of what you say - almost!!!. Keep it short and sweet. You can always start by asking who guessed 3 minutes for the speech and tell them to go collect and get you a pint while they're at it.
Start light, do the serious bits and finish with a toast (Possibly to yourself!!!)