A worrying trend of f**king up relationships

LegacyUser

I have let the dust settle and analysed my latest attempt at trying to have some sort of a relationship with someone, and I've noticed a trend. Maybe someone else shares the same traits and can identify.

I'm not too bothered about it at the moment, I have just accepted that this is the way it is and has always been.

I'm almost 33, since I was 18 have always managed to screw up any short term or long term relationships. Either it would last a few weeks, a month or so, or in the case of my last one, over a few years, but I was always given the flick. Always. I don't think I ever did anything I shouldn't have. If anything I always played it cagey.

I was bullshi**ted in my latest attempt. I realised I was told it was over for different reasons,(work, relocation etc etc) but it's rubbish, they just weren't into me. If they were those wouldn't have been a problem.

Last one I went out with for almost 3 years, same thing. At least she was honest though . I sacrificed a lot for her, as I'm sure she did, was prepared to try and right the wrongs, but it takes two to tango..

I guess I'm not cut out for it, and so be it. At least I won't have to put up with being headwrecked again. I have alsways been single more than I have been with someone, and there's a lot to be said for it. I can avoid the inevitable screw up.

I'm going to put my social life into the bottom drawer for the rest of 2010 at least. I really just couldn't care less.

To be honest I have lost all faith and trust in women at the moment (sounds defeatist, but there you go...), especially after the latest episode. I was VERY cagey getting involved and it came back to bite me on the backside, so the hell with it. I would have more faith letting somone in a striped sweater and mask mind my house for a week than trust a woman again.

LegacyUser

Hey Op,I can understand were you are coming from ,On the whole losing faith because of failed relationships.But you really shouldn't carry past relationships on into the next one.Or the cagey feeling it wont work before even failed,as that will cause friction in relationship that may not even be there.

Only way you should feel is upset and ofc understandably annoyed.
But don't paint all women with same brush.You don't have to trust someone straight off either just let them earn your trust and you theirs.

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong,just they weren't the right woman girl for you.As if you did do things that were wrong in relationship and they would have stuck with you and got past your faults.

You are right to just focus on your own happiness and enjoy your life,she will come when you least expect it.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

true, but I sometimes see all my mates going the other way,and doing things the "right way", and I just think I'm not cut out for it, I'm not compatible for going out with someone. I think I'm going to be a bachelor, and that's just the way it will be.
I mean, I could say "don't worry the right one will come along". I'm beginning to think not. I'm almost 33, the pool gets smaller as you get older in a wee country like Ireland, so it'll probably be those who are equally as f**ked as me that are left...lol...

I now it mightn't seem like it, but I'm laughing at it.....

Lux23

But does anyone do things the right way? The trick is meet someone who wants the same as you and at the same time, if you can't do this its no reflection on you its just things haven't clicked into place for you yet. Well thats what I am keep saying to myself!!

Fair enough OP put your love life away for now but do get out there and have fun, do things you want to do and you never know what may happen.

LegacyUser

havingalaugh wrote: »

true, but I sometimes see all my mates going the other way,and doing things the "right way", and I just think I'm not cut out for it, I'm not compatible for going out with someone. I think I'm going to be a bachelor, and that's just the way it will be.
I mean, I could say "don't worry the right one will come along". I'm beginning to think not. I'm almost 33, the pool gets smaller as you get older in a wee country like Ireland, so it'll probably be those who are equally as f**ked as me that are left...lol...

I now it mightn't seem like it, but I'm laughing at it.....

Nah stop 33 no way you are still young and the pool has just widened for you now.You can date younger women and older women.You can go for girls from age of 20 to late thirties,so no pool getting smaller for you.You don't have to stay in your age group.
Think about it your older more mature and grounded also still able to have fun so the younger and older women are out there for you.And if the pool seems small here always Internet dating England France etc.. close by places that you could actually start a relationship with someone and be able to meet them and make something of it.

I was older than you when i met my husband and i thought never would meet anyone.I too thought same way you did.I am going to stay single and away from all men because i seriously don't think i am able for relationships and dont trust them in slightest.
I met my husband then out of blue and we are very happy get on great and realised the others didn't work because i was meant to meet him.
It is a matter of finding someone who is compatible(And there is one for you or maybe two or three whos is) with you and plenty of single women out there looking for a nice guy who will treat them good.


And it is good to laugh at it and sometimes not bother looking,i know i wasnt bothered when i met my OH
Best of luck and just have fun she might be right under your nose but have fun and see where life takes you.But no matter what if you see someone you like take a chance and go for it.

LegacyUser

That's very true I suppose. Though I was so cagey getting involved, not properly being with anyone for 2 years, I was even thinking "hmm, this could be the one if it goes like it's going", but it wasn't to be, so I don't want to go through that again, that "she's the one", then it goes t1ts up...
I've had only headwreck the last 2 months, and I could have been way happier if I hadn't met her, but at the same time, I don't regret a thing. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I never thought about internet, and/or abroad, I do have the lingos... hmm....

LegacyUser

OP...I feel the exact same way as you in your 1st post. Although i am only 24 so ive not entirely given up but i know what u mean about putting it in the bottom drawer for a while til you do somethings for yourself..in my case im gonna go travelling next year, so am goin to avoid getting involved with anyone til afer that....

Knowing my luck i'll meet "Ms. Perfect" just before i leave!!

LegacyUser

a bit liike yourself, I have to attend a wedding far far away next Feb, so can't wait, and if I meet someone in the meantime, tough, they'll have to wait it our till I get back. Cutting off my nose to spite my face perhaps, but so be it...

LegacyUser

havingalaugh wrote: »

a bit liike yourself, I have to attend a wedding far far away next Feb, so can't wait, and if I meet someone in the meantime, tough, they'll have to wait it our till I get back. Cutting off my nose to spite my face perhaps, but so be it...

I feel the same too. You kind of think 'what's the point it'll all go wrong anyway. Like a few here, I've decided to take a break from meeting anyone new. I'm just not very sociable at the moment, and I fear I'd only snap someone's head off they come near me!! I really can't face the fake camaraderie when at the back of it all, they'd drop you like a hot potato