Crossing a line? Or is there one?

LegacyUser

Okay Im 26 and the sister of my sister in law is slightly younger than me...basically i like her. So to clarify its my brothers sister in law !!!

My question is should I be wary of getting involved here?I mean if I managed to ask her out how would I hide such an issue - or IS IT AN ISSUE? I risk being embarrassed here in terms of rejection but im not so worried about that - Im more so worried about what the rest of the family will think.

Taltos

It won't be the first time in-laws get together.
However - you are right - both sides of the family will be laser focussed on your relationship - that can be quiet a bit of added pressure no-one needs.

Also think carefully here - what happens if it breaks down - do you really want to be going to anniversaries, christenings etc with your ex standing across from you with her latest beau???

However, when it does work it can work well. Not your fault that the person you are attracted to is now related by marriage to your brother.

Take it slowly but use your best judgement. ie. if you think that this will just be a flirtation with no chance of anything further then flirt elsewhere... However, if you think there is a chance of something more - then why waste the chance..

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. I am finding it hard to call so suppose just best to leave it for a while and think about it more.

My problem is exactly just how you say decide if I think there's more to it than just flirt. It's possible there is something more to it but I can't tell for sure nor do i have a strong enough gut feeling on it yet.

I take it from the above post you believe just going out for a drink some night (on the QT) would be a no go??

Taltos

dangadangadong wrote: »

I take it from the above post you believe just going out for a drink some night (on the QT) would be a no go??

No - not at all.
Maybe see if there is some occasion where a few of you can pop out. You know to test the waters. Or just bully up and ask her out for a drink - either way you will know. There might be a bit of awkwardness here - especially if she sees you as a safe male to flirt with... Might just surprise her when you respond...

Thing is - do you want to be 5 yrs down the line wondering - what if. But it all depends on how deeply you feel about her. As I said - if you only see this as a bit of fun - then stay away. If you think there might be more - and you don't disrespect her or treat her like crap then personally I would be inclined to go for it...

LegacyUser

Point taken and exactly how I feel about it aswell. I suppose ideally I was thinking if my proposal was to be accepted we wouldnt tell anyone anything - if there was nothing there we could just forget about it and none would have to know

_Bella_

I would say go for it!

mood

If you just want something casual don't go there. However, if you think there could be a future in it ask her out.

Red Alert

I know a girl who's sister is married to her husband's brother, so it's not unknown.

nkay1985

Red Alert wrote: »

I know a girl who's sister is married to her husband's brother, so it's not unknown.

Yeah it's actually more common than you'd think. When I was going to my fiancée's Debs, my brother hit it off with her cousin. The glare of the family was on them but they just got each other's numbers and carried on as if they'd just met each other on another night out or whatever. Fast forward 5 years or whatever it is and they're still together. Not exactly the same situation but this would be the cousin that my fiancée is closest to.

My advice would be to give it a go. If she doesn't fancy you, what harm. If she's willing to go for a drink, try it out and see if you get on. But basically treat it like any other girl you meet that you feel a connection with.

This advice is only valid if you're not just looking for a random hook up as another poster mentioned.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. Ive been thinking about it these past few days and it's too hard for me to come to any conclusion - the reason being that we havent spent much time together in the past and certainly not alone. So I feel as though i need to get to know her before i can decide that - thing is to get to know her i really need to ask her out !!

If it was anyone else id have no problem just asking but in this case theres always going to be a chance of it being messy/complicated coupled with the fact of embarrassing if she rejected me :P


Ive been thinking about it a lot more recently ...have a gut feeling ill end up doing something about it....just not sure how to go about it yet