In Limbo

LegacyUser

My girlfriend of over 3 years broke up with me 18 months ago, she was a foreign and absolutely stunningly beautiful.......I mean flawless in every way sort of beautiful! I knew I was punching above my weight but in the past I seemed to have had a knack of getting really good looking girls............but not any more!

After my ex broke up with me I was crushed, I lost a huge amount of weight (I was never over-weight anyway) but my mates thought I was on drugs or something because I looked so thin. My spirit was crushed, I had been in another long term relationship but that didn't really effect me in a fraction of they way that this did. I was 30 years old when I was dumped and the realisation flooded me with so many negative thoughts that I can honestly say that I am still not 100% right to this day.

What makes this worse is that the vast majority of my friends are in relationships, and unfortunately for me (hopefully without sounding to selfish) they are in the sort of relationships that they spend every breathing moment with their partners, so even if I make plans to see them they can call me an hour before to cancel with some bullsh*t excuse that they are tired or are broke.

So basically I feel very alone..........I have a good job and I work hard, I feel the lonely week nights with long hours in the gym but at the weekends I end up being let down by my mates and think back to former glories, and the incredible times I had with my ex.

I am a total shell of a man now...........all I feel towards women now is bitterness and resentment. Even on the few occasions where I muster the energy to casually chat to some women their actions usually fuel my resentment even more, so I really don't see what the point is.

Obviously alot of people with chalk this post down to self pity, but trust me, I had what you had and now I have nothing............put yourself in my place and picture yourself without the person you love more then anything else in the world and with friends who are more concerned about themselves then anything else. It really is not a nice place to be and I prey everyday that my circumstances will change...........but time is against me unfortunately.

Barracudaincork

Why is time against you?

Your not full of self pity as such, you have just not picked yourself up from the break up and it seems to be getting worse the more time that passes rather than better.

There isnt a person in the world who hasnt been to where you are now so people do understand where you are coming from, however 18 months later you shouldnt still feel like this.

You need to speak to someone about how you feel, if you havent already try speaking to a close family member or friend and see if talking it out with someone helps you, if that doesnt help they maybe go see a qualified person to have a chat with.

Your head is in a negative place right now and you can turn that around but you need to want to also, if you dont then this is where the self pity comes in, if that makes sense.

girlwitcurls

give yourself a break op.im not single that long and its so hard cause the world seems to be full of nothing but happy couples!!i understand where you are coming from but its 18 months now and not all women are the same.you have to let this girl go and concentrate on you.