Can't make GF cum

LegacyUser

okies pretty much straight to the point,

had a bit of experience in the bedroom nothing major, but I know how most girls work, find what they like and how the like it. Where the G spot is for them how senstive their clit is.

new gf on the scene had sex a fair few times, at this stage i would have assumed our bodies would have found the groove and she would have cum. No, it would seem are bodies are not aligning, some things which have troubled moi.

he ex bf was somewhat larger end of things than moi and I cannot seem to reach her G spot with my fingers so all in all this does not bode well for average Joe

She also told me that doggy does nothing for her, were most of my previous partners enjoyed that immensely. It would seem she enjoys DP beyond my limits, (i assume this via her past relationship combined the only time she really got close was in the shower with one leg up while both of us stood and the fact she told me not to worry about it ) so I need to recheck the game on how I can get this girl off. I've tried the teasing the slow build up nothing seems to be working my I'm willing to try it all.

At the end of the day I'm not letting any of this bring me down, I am what I am, and if women who love women can bring each other off without any penis I'm sure I can find a way to please.

So I wish to seek any advice possible. Be it tips or if possible links to some referrence material or guides, I am all ears and keen as mustard. I just wanna to reciprocate the pleasure that I am recieving from it all. I have a pretty high sex drive and feel it is not really fair on her all this sex and no pay off

Boardises in u I trust!

krudler

Errr, ask her what works and what she enjoys? as for the deeper thing, her on her back with her legs on your shoulders is probably the easiest way to get deeper penetration. women and orgasms arent a one technique fits all system. Every girl I've ever been with has liked/dislike stuff that worked well with others and some could only cum through oral, some only through intercourse, its fun finding out what works though, thats for sure The more open you are the more willing she should be to try new stuff or just guide you along, I'd have no issue whatsoever with getting a girl to tell me exactly what does and doesnt do it for her instead of figuring it out for myself ( i mean that in the best possible sense, not that I'm lazy )

BraziliaNZ

Biffle wrote: »

he ex bf was somewhat larger end of things than moi

jesus did she tell you that? No wonder you're anxious!

krudler

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

jesus did she tell you that? No wonder you're anxious!

Thats one thing that staggers me about some womens attitude towards sex, they think saying something like this wont hurt a guys feelings, how would most women feel if a guy said his ex had nicer tits that she did? or a firmer arse? they'd be dumped on the spot. I'm in no way interested in what my gf's ex was like in bed, dont know, dont care.

Kiera

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

jesus did she tell you that? No wonder you're anxious!

Yeah was thinking the same thing. Why on earth would anyone say that?

OP: Like Krudler said, try asking her what works for her. Its only the beginning of your relationship so its gonna take a while to find what works for you both.

Best of luck

Annie Bananie

The only one you can ask for advise is your girlfriend! She is the only one that knows what she likes
Good luck and have fun!

Biffle

Biffle wrote: »

he ex bf was ...

... where most of my previous partners enjoyed that immensely.

I think the first problem is maybe both of you coming at it with the "well my exes liked xyz so why not now" kinda thing. Everyone is different so same thing won't work.

I cannot seem to reach her G spot with my fingers

There isn't much "reaching" to do so maybe taking it slow and relaxed experimenting sometime might work? It's important not to get frustrated and give up, just keep trying as long as she's happy to and letting her guide you on what works for her.

Dont worry these things can take time

LegacyUser

Hi there,

This a tricky one alright, as it is different for most...
I think first of all like some of the others said forget about the ex partners...and dont let it become an issue...Maybe you are trying to hard and she knows you are and this is causing the problem..
Most of the time I dont have a problem with having an orgasm, but there have been times when my partner would try really hard, and I knew was disappointed if it didnt happen, and this was a turn off for me....I guess because we both got frustrated....

Just talk about it, NOT in the bedroom though....casually talk about it when you are not having sex..and keep trying...but dont get to frustrated or to eager to please, as I find that a bit of a turnoff...not that it is wrong..thats just me...
Maybe try some fantasy..or introduce some sex toys....

best of luck..

LegacyUser

As others have said, best thing to do is talk to her and ask her what and how she likes it. Personally I have never cum during sex...oral sex however and I nearly cum everytime. The womans body can be a frustrating thing. But dont get disheartened, keeping working on it and you'll get there soon

wolfric

one thing that i don't think anyone has touched on yet. A lot of stress can make it hard to reach that special point. If she knows you're stressed she may be stressed as well. After all, it may be a disappointment to you but she might feel just as embarrassed.

AnnyHallsal

Biffle wrote: »

ex bf was somewhat larger end of things than moi and I cannot seem to reach her G spot with my fingers so all in all this does not bode well for average Joe

the only time she really got close was in the shower with one leg up while both of us stood and the fact she told me not to worry about it ) so I need to recheck the game on how I can get this girl off.

So I wish to seek any advice possible.

All the scientific evidence suggests that there's no such thing as the g spot - good news for you in this instance, as the problem isn't that you're not hitting it but that she thinks you're not.

I wouldn't worry. It's still early days and it can take months of fun to find out exactly what makes the other tick.

What about her on top? That's generally the most effective.

Miss Fluff

Ask her to show you.

shellyboo

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

All the scientific evidence suggests that there's no such thing as the g spot - good news for you in this instance, as the problem isn't that you're not hitting it but that she thinks you're not.

I wouldn't worry. It's still early days and it can take months of fun to find out exactly what makes the other tick.

What about her on top? That's generally the most effective.

LOL. All of it, eh? Must tell my vagina that, it seems to be delusional.

There is certainly such a thing as the g-spot and if the OP's girlfriend has climaxed in the past through penetration, then she has one and it IS a case that the OP is just not hitting it for whatever reason.

But it's really not the be all and end all. There are other ways of making a girl cum - oral, clitoral stimulation combined with penetration, toys - and you just need to experiment until you find what works for you.

You might just have to accept the fact that she can't orgasm through penetration alone with you and find other ways of doing it.

AnnyHallsal

"The existence of the G-Spot was questioned by a team at King's College London in late 2009. They acquired the largest sample size to date of 1,800 women – who are pairs of twins – and found they did not report a similar G-Spot in a questionnaire, suggesting its existence is subjective.[4] Study co-author Dr. Andrea Burri believes: "It is irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven and pressurise women and men too."

S23

There most certainly is a point that women have known as the GSpot but call it what you want. Unless you have very short fingers I have no idea how you can't reach it. Its usually a fingers length in and can be felt with a 'come hither' motion with your fingers.

Now the impact stimulatiing this point varies very much from woman to woman but, whether its been questioned or not, or whether its called the right name or not, it certainly exists!

Talk to your GF as others have said. Also a cock ring with a bullet vibe is worth a go too IMO

Barracudaincork

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

"The existence of the G-Spot was questioned by a team at King's College London in late 2009. They acquired the largest sample size to date of 1,800 women – who are pairs of twins – and found they did not report a similar G-Spot in a questionnaire, suggesting its existence is subjective.[4] Study co-author Dr. Andrea Burri believes: "It is irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven and pressurise women and men too."

Why did you just select that part of the wiki article? You omitted the next line to your text above:

Dr. Whipple dismissed the findings, pointing out that twins have different sexual partners and techniques, and that the study did not properly account for lesbian or bisexual women.

and you omitted this part of the article:

Although research on the G-Spot has taken place since 1981, arguments over its existence, the actual definition of the term, and its location continue in the medical field and in studies of sexuality.[3] A study using ultrasound found women who report having vaginal orgasms have thicker tissue in the G-Spot region. Another study of 1,800 twins found that 56% of women surveyed reported having a G-Spot, although this cannot be considered a representative study.

Ickle Magoo

OP,

Sometimes bodies just don't find their groove and their owners need to swap notes and discuss what makes each other tick - no shame in it, I'm not really an advocate of pawing around in the vain hope I hit upon the magic combination. It's much more satisfying to get some guidance so you can really make your partner pop.

I have no idea why she is telling you about the penis size of a previous partner, that seems ridiculously inappropriate and almost guaranteed to conjure up a whole raft of issues that otherwise wouldn't have ever appeared.

As for getting the g-spot - again, ask her when you are getting it, it shouldn't be too far in for fingers to reach, never mind a penis so again, move it around and see what she likes best. Why not start off with some oral or clitoral stimulation and then hop on when she's close to cumming rather than banging away if that doesn't do it for her - keep talking and keep trying different positions and techniques until you hit upon those that suit you as a couple.

Best of luck

seahorse

shellyboo wrote: »

LOL. All of it, eh? Must tell my vagina that, it seems to be delusional.

So must mine, lol. Anyone who thinks otherwise either isn't a woman or isn't a man who knows where to find it.

There is no reaching involved by the way; it's about one to three inches in, depending on the woman. It's on the front wall, on the inner side of the pubic bone - you'll know you've hit it when you feel a rounded inch or so of gently rippled skin. We won't hold it against you as long as you keep lookin lads...;)

LegacyUser

Op Here,

Right folks enough of the debate, I have been with enough women to know there is a G-spot and where it is. But with this girl it seems higher up than most. The problem is, this chick can handle more junk in the trunk than the average bear, and the G-spot is kinda out of reach for both my hands and my penis. The whole size issue doesn't really affect me, different strokes for different folks. What I was after is some practical info on how to bring us into a mutual groove. Yes I know everyone is different and Yes it does take some time to get to know peoples patterns. I have asked her what she likes, which was pretty much "DP" combined with blunt pressure on clit area. Some moitions but still no O, yeah i've been on the oral she likes it cant cum from it. She wants the penetration it would seem. I figure a few weeks still nothing I'ill introduce some toys.

Barracudaincork

Biffle wrote: »

the G-spot is kinda out of reach for both my hands and penis

Can her hand reach it?

S23

Barracudaincork wrote: »

Can her hand reach it?

I'm extremely skeptical that her GSpot is completely inaccesible. Even if she can handle 'more junk in her trunk' than the average woman can that wouldn't have a huge impact on things.

Lets say she has a particularly deep vaginal cavity (as it sounds she does) of about 7-8 inches it still wouldn't place the GSpot that far away because it certainly wouldn't be any deeper than halfway.

Anyway, why wait a few weeks to introduce toys? Give it a go now and see if that helps.

Barracudaincork

S23 wrote: »

I'm extremely skeptical that her GSpot is completely inaccesible. Even if she can handle 'more junk in her trunk' than the average woman can that wouldn't have a huge impact on things.

+1