What is the next step

LegacyUser

Hi, i'm 22 just about to finish my final year in college. Trouble is I just don't feel 'right', the strange thing is I started to feel like this at the exact same time last year, then I felt o.k for a while neither happy nor sad and have been plodding along fine; but the past few weeks have been horrible. I have so much work due and I haven't lifted a finger. I can't concentrate, I have a constant lump in my throat wanting to cry, I can't socialize, I can't sleep and have a constant headache, I keep snapping at everybody around me getting so angry about little things. I know myself something isn't right and it's not just stress but i don't know how to start about doing something about it. One minute I can be fine and the next I turn crazy, I need to sort something out because I have scared myself a few times, I know its not hormonal. I must stress I am not looking for medical advise just advise on what to do next I can't live like this.

Kevster

You have done enough to get this far, Aimsey, so please keep pushing hard to get through the year. I'm sure you have friends who are feeling the exact same thing as you. If you can talk to them about this, then by all means do so. If it helps too, try to set aside some time each week for yourself to study. Even if it is an hour at first, then just do that - it's fine.

If you are still worried, then talk to your head lecturer about it. Head lecturers are - in general - approachable and caring people. I have had to go to them in times of worry too. The point I'm trying to get across here is that there is always someone to turn to in times of despair, and one should never feel alone in what they're facing.

Take care,
Kevin

Hank_Jones

My own personal advice to you would be to watch your diet and to exercise regularly.
I find that when I feel really groggy and sore headed, it is generally due to the fact that I have been eating crap and not exercising.
Plus if you exercise, you will have more energy to do other things.

Just watch the simple things and everything else won't seem as daunting.

LegacyUser

I think I know exactly how the OP feels, pretty much in the same boat, only added panic attacks to really throw a spin on things...

It certainly is THAT time of year for it anyway!

I know a couple of folk in my class are feeling the same, we're all final years too, we've had a few wee chats around the class that helped...I mean you know what it feels like to be you right now, chances are there's someone else in your class feeling something similar, you might spot it before it gets too much for them too and find some support in one another? It helped me anyway, and I was surprised with the amount of people I found who could empathise...

What's come up a bunch of times around my class anyway is the sheer thought of what's waiting on the other side of the degree for us, after three and four years of hard work for what? (probably should point out I live in Limerick jobs are pretty scarce, most graduates I know either on the dole at the moment or in crappy retail or food service jobs where they had to leave the degree off the cv entirely to even get the interview...it's hard to justify all the stress and deadlines and hard work when deep down in the back of your mind you know its probably not going to turn up much wealth in the near future anyway...

I took a few years out before heading to do this degree, hoping to maybe kinda hopefully grow out of the same kind of behavior you mentioned in the original post, snapping at friends and getting generally "difficult" at any sniff of stress, I'm not gonna lie to ya, I'm fair touch and go at the moment, I catch myself and its just HARD to snap out of it and sort it out! I worked the minimum wage scenario for a few years before going back, believe me, its doable and not really all that bad either to be fair, but when you start thinking you've wasted your few years there i understand how it can all get a little heavy, and seemingly unnecessary...

I really wanted to overcome this challenge when I started, but just as you described in the first post, finding it hard to lift a finger to help myself at the moment, the more I leave things go, the worse the guilt gets, the more I clam up and cant concentrate, it's a viscous cycle and my heart goes out to you pet, same as yourself I felt it this time last year too, nothing like this year though, it IS the most stressful run of the year for any student though.....just a thought, but it seems to make sense for me anyway, I'm a nervy,edgy person at best, always have been since I was a child with the most crippling shyness you could actually imagine... I come from a family of perfectionists and can find the threat of failure or competition almost enough to shut me down entirely, I'm pretty sure that same terror that gripped my way back waiting to be struck out in rounders in fourth class PE (oh god the sheer terror like! sure I laugh about it now...;) is the same thing thats shutting me down right now, only morphed into a bigger monster to beat... literally allergic to stress?!

here I could give you all the eat-healthy, take personal time, and get exercise advice you want, all very good info and all but I also know what a cop out it seems to be told that too when you're feeling bad like this. My ex gave me every anecdote under the sun like, and though I see the sense, i also know how empty it can sound, and it was the hugs that got me through it...

I guess I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one feeling like this, and maybe adding the stress of the thought you're losing your mind in on top of the already stressful situation probably isn't helping...I don't think you are if it's any consolation

What the lads said above is absolutely spot on though you've accomplished something special by getting this far, you felt like this last year same time and here you are still hanging on only a month or so away from the final exams...I don't mean to sound patronising, I'm actually nearly saying this to myself now as anyone, even if you fooook up royal accademically, you and I have made it farther than most, with a little heavier burden, maybe, its more than a lot who've found themselves in the same situation, and that in itself should teach you something about yourself and how you deal with the world. you've also taken a freakin huge step in admitting you see a problem ( i know how it is, the days you feel grand you try to play it all down as much as you can? I do anyway) and you've asked for help...

definitely definitely do talk to your year head/mentor whoever in there you feel comfortable with, I sent an email, it was the only way I could bring myself to admit it like, but the lecturers were surprisingly understanding and helpful, to be honest just the thought that someone was keeping an eye on me helped a lot. I still think maybe someone's going to turn around to me any day now and tell me give up there's no point, but I think just by being aware of this "problem" you have is all you need to get through it. when you feel yourself spiralling, tell yourself to cop on, have a cuppa tea, clear the head, its a conscious decision like, its hard as hell, but no-ones going to do it for you...

last time I came out the other side of a season of doom like this, I literally just pretended i was happy for a few months, found some ways of making stressful situations a little less stressfull, and found one single thing each day that made me smile, to tell my neighbour about over a cuppa in the evening pure stupid stuff like but it got me focusing consciously on positive things and distracted me from the default negitive buzz i'm usually on, self trickery like! I was working in a café in Cork at the time, had my own little flat, nothing fancy, still remember it as one of the happiest times of my life though, the pretense kinda grows on you after a while sorry a little off topic I know like, just hope this helps

Here, I'm pretty sure if you can make it through the next couple of weeks you'll be fine, once the stress is over. Worst case scenario you have to repeat something in the Autumn Exams, your year head or whoever you have that little chat with can tell you about your college's policy... and after that sure the world is your oyster </cliché> :P Plan something to de-stress after the exams, take up yoga or tai-chi or go spend some time on a beach or whatever calm and meditative and have a think about what kind things you'd like to make you smile to fill your next few days with. Big Hugs for you, I'd say you need them Take care

Overheal

Dont rule out that part of your problem may be either a) a psychological problem (like anxiety, etc) or b) a Physiological problem, like poor diet and resting habits.

Either way, you have access to free nurse/doctor visits on the campus in most cases. Take full advantage of it and see if they can't help you out as well. Thats the next step. Get in line for a nursing visit. Theres also the Counselor if you have something on your mind. Everything is kept confidential.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for your replies. It's amazing how some encouraging words can really spur you on to take control of the situation. I am stressed but I know deep inside there is something more going on, and I have emailed the counseling service in college to discuss both issues. It is not fair on myself or the people around me to live like this.

MissHoneyBun

OP it's normal for people to get overwhelmed if they have been suffering from prolonged periods of stress. And stress alone takes an enormous toll on your physical and mental health. I know what it's like to be doing an intensive degree in college whilst trying to deal with a million other things in life as well.

I have learned the hard way from taking on too much and being constantly sick, exhausted and run down as a result of not listening to my body. You're only one person OP and you can only take on so much. It sounds as though your body has had enough and is crashing from the burnout of stress.

We'reDoomed! wrote: »

here I could give you all the eat-healthy, take personal time, and get exercise advice you want, all very good info and all but I also know what a cop out it seems to be told that too when you're feeling bad like this. My ex gave me every anecdote under the sun like, and though I see the sense, i also know how empty it can sound, and it was the hugs that got me through it...

Ya know this so true. When you feel worn out like this the last thing you need is to be told to eat well and exercise etc. Of course these things make sense but it's the not being able to do the things you know you should is precisely the problem. It's often just some kind words and a hug that makes all the difference. Please take some time out OP to be kind to yourself and let yourself rest and recover. If you're not feeling a little better then maybe see your GP for professional advice