Sick again: worthless/guilty

LegacyUser

Hi I am a student full time, work part time and live with my boyfriend. I was sent home from work last night because my eyes were watering and i couldn't stop sneezing.

I came home and climbed into bed and couldn't sleep, and then my boyfriend came home from work (he works nights too) and he told me to go to the doctor. The doctor said I have swine flu but I do not believe her, she didn't prescribe anything and i'm not vomiting etc. I think it's just a bit of a bad infection.

The doctor gave me a note for work and it's for 10 days off work and college. I have to pay the bills and my half of the rent, and I just can't do it like this. Work won't let me back until I've let the ten days pass and I've no way of income.

I'm sitting here trying to find ways to get money. My mother won't help me , she insists my boyfriend (also a student) should be able to give up his classes and do more hours to support us both. She's a lunatic. She won't help me.

I feel worthless and awful as a human being right now. I can't get any money into the house, and it's all on him now. The wages for this weekend I was really depending on.

I don't know what to do. I feel like my boyfriend is going to dump me because this is the fourth time this has happened in two years that he's ended up paying my way.

please help i don't think i'm going to be able to go on like this

Kevster

Forgive me for being ignorant, but why can't your boyfriend work more hours? In any case, there are productive ways out of this:

- Tell your bank that you need an overdraft (i.e. if you are likely to go below the zero mark on your balance)

- Stop buying things you genuinely don't need, including alcohol (?), cigarettes (?), 'sweets', magazines, fuel [car], etc.

- Arrange to sit down with your boyfriend to discuss everything that is happening. The image I have of you right now is a young woman sitting in silence, internalising the problems. I know you went to your mother, but that's still the image I get.

Now that you're angry at me for what I've said, please remember that I am genuinely trying to help.

Kevin

Can your college give you any kind of emergency loan? Mine does - you just have to go to the welfare officer to explain and they give you a small loan of a few hundred to tide you over. Really helped me out when I was in a similar situation this year.

krudler

Are you not entitled to sick pay? if not contact the social welfare they might be able to help you

Kevster

Kevster wrote: »

Forgive me for being ignorant, but why can't your boyfriend work more hours?

what

Kevster

Deleted User wrote: »

what

I am ignorant of the full details of her boyfriend's situation (i.e. I don't know the full details of it); and simply am wondering why exactly he cannot work extra hours to get more money. I'm not asking this to the OP in any way which is crass/offensive. i am genuinely curious.

Kevin

Kevster

Kevster wrote: »

I am ignorant of the full details of her boyfriend's situation (i.e. I don't know the full details of it); and simply am wondering why exactly he cannot work extra hours to get more money. I'm not asking this to the OP in any way which is crass/offensive. i am genuinely curious.

Kevin

She said he's a full time student so presumably cannot ditch classes to work. That said, I don't think it's the mother's responsibility either, if OP is an adult.

joeybloggs

Sounds like your entitled to this. Keep your receipts.

http://www.studentfinance.ie/mp7235/student-assistance-fund/index.html

LegacyUser

hi all, thank you for the responses.

I , despite the doctor's note etc went to work regardless. I suffered like anything but took loads of vitamins , fruit and kept drinking water and honey and lemon etc to keep myself going.

I didn't want this entire thing to be on my boyfriend, he's studying for a degree that requires attendance for all his classes or he won't pass.

I managed to get to work and do my job and I'll be getting paid this week for it. I feel a bit better now but it's nothing another night's sleep can't help.

Thanks again

usernamename

usernamename wrote: »

hi all, thank you for the responses.

I , despite the doctor's note etc went to work regardless. I suffered like anything but took loads of vitamins , fruit and kept drinking water and honey and lemon etc to keep myself going.

I didn't want this entire thing to be on my boyfriend, he's studying for a degree that requires attendance for all his classes or he won't pass.

I managed to get to work and do my job and I'll be getting paid this week for it. I feel a bit better now but it's nothing another night's sleep can't help.

Thanks again

OP don't mean to be a d*ck, but you should not be out and about with suspected swine flu. It's not fair to expose other people to it, who may have weakened immune systems, be pregnant, have small kids etc. If you're a healthy adult you might have been able to keep going, but the person you passed it on to might not. Have you asked your college about an emergency loan?

LegacyUser

I would have stayed off college, but my university would not give any financial assistance to me without producing a lot of documentation from revenue/welfare etc. I'm out of home for the past 2 years and they still asked me for everything when i applied for assistance at the start of the year. I don't know what college you were in but nobody is giving out money that easily these days. I informed university of my troubles, an officer from the student assistance dept replied saying that it's best that I just wait and see when I get better about financial assistance, that I'd be required to be interviewed and would require further documentation other than just the doctor's note, and that my application would take two weeks to process.

The bank wouldn't wait two weeks for the money. And my landlord would not even consider it. He told us that when we were moving in we were his first two student tenants, he'd only ever had professionals before, and that if there was even one situation where we failed to pay the rent that he would have us out the door without question, and he had us sign a form saying we understand that, it was attached to our lease.

I'm really sorry to sound like I am barking at you but the pressure is severe and I feel like I had no choice but to go to work. And the fact that I went in and was able to work long shifts , to me , seems like I had just a virus and not swine flu, from what I have read anyway.

You don't have swine flu if you could work.. Know three people who were stuck in bed for over 5 days with it.

usernamename

usernamename wrote: »

I would have stayed off college, but my university would not give any financial assistance to me without producing a lot of documentation from revenue/welfare etc. I'm out of home for the past 2 years and they still asked me for everything when i applied for assistance at the start of the year. I don't know what college you were in but nobody is giving out money that easily these days. I informed university of my troubles, an officer from the student assistance dept replied saying that it's best that I just wait and see when I get better about financial assistance, that I'd be required to be interviewed and would require further documentation other than just the doctor's note, and that my application would take two weeks to process.

I'm at the University of London. They will give an emergency loan of £200, no questions asked and more (i.e. enough for rent) if you provide some more info and a solid reason why you need the cash. I used something similar at Trinity.

The bank wouldn't wait two weeks for the money. And my landlord would not even consider it. He told us that when we were moving in we were his first two student tenants, he'd only ever had professionals before, and that if there was even one situation where we failed to pay the rent that he would have us out the door without question, and he had us sign a form saying we understand that, it was attached to our lease.

Why sign that? There are loads of vacant rental properties around. I do understand a landlord wanting to protect himself, but I'd expect another human being to understand when a situation was really bad (i.e. you're not just being irresponsible) and try to help you out a bit. Did you contact him and explain?

I'm really sorry to sound like I am barking at you but the pressure is severe and I feel like I had no choice but to go to work. And the fact that I went in and was able to work long shifts , to me , seems like I had just a virus and not swine flu, from what I have read anyway.

I know how it feels, I've been really sick recently (not the contagious kind) and didn't miss a day. I don't know what you have, I doubt it is flu if you were able to go into work and function, as even the normal flu has me delirious and too weak to stand, though the doctor seemed to think it was flu?

goose2005

usernamename wrote: »

The bank wouldn't wait two weeks for the money. And my landlord would not even consider it. He told us that when we were moving in we were his first two student tenants, he'd only ever had professionals before, and that if there was even one situation where we failed to pay the rent that he would have us out the door without question, and he had us sign a form saying we understand that, it was attached to our lease.

Given the state of the market he might find it hard to get another tenant. In any case I don't think making you sign a document which contravenes rental law would stand up in court.

Moonbeam

I am very surprised that you college do not have a student assistance fund,maybe go to the su and ask about it.
It is a long time since I was in college but I went to ITC and they had it and it wasn't that hard to get money if you really needed it.

LegacyUser

We do have a student assistance fund, but they request several forms of documentation to support your application, and they asked if I would come in for interview as soon as I am fit to, but the money was needed this week for both situations. We were a day late with the rent a couple of months ago and he got the agent to ring us asking if there was a problem. We really like where we live because it's a perfect location.

as regards getting further financial help, well it's too late now, I've worked, people are getting paid, i just feel worse and I'm still not 100% better !

usernamename

usernamename wrote: »

We do have a student assistance fund, but they request several forms of documentation to support your application, and they asked if I would come in for interview as soon as I am fit to, but the money was needed this week for both situations.

Surely if you're genuinely sick, you have the documentation (doctors notes etc)? And why can't you go in for interview if you're fit enough to go to work?

We were a day late with the rent a couple of months ago and he got the agent to ring us asking if there was a problem. We really like where we live because it's a perfect location.

Well then, it's your choice. It's not as if there's nowhere else to live. I personally would take a place with a more understanding landlord, I'd hate to feel like I was going to be turfed out onto the street for being a day late with my rent one month.

as regards getting further financial help, well it's too late now, I've worked, people are getting paid, i just feel worse and I'm still not 100% better !

Well it might help for next time, you said this is the fourth time in two years this has happened. People have given you constructive advice. You don't have to go to work sick, there are other options, it just sounds like you're quick to shoot them down. I know how stressful it is to work and study but it's better to take it easy when you're sick than end up burning out.