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Bored in relationship

  • 01-04-2010 6:43pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm in a great relationship - my girlfriend is great and I love her.
    But lately I can't stop myself thinking about other women.
    I'm constantly thinking of women in work, or in my gym - even my girlfriends friends

    I'd never do anything about it - but I feel like I'm basically cheating on her as it is. (emotionally that is, not physically)

    I've stopped doing some things I would normally do - social stuff that would bring me into contact with other women - as I am almost afraid I will act on what I am thinking

    Should I end the relationship? The thought of doing that is horrible because I think my girlfriend would be devastated and I do love her a lot.

    Help please!


Comments

  • #2
    Lucyx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 357 ✭✭Lucyx


    sounds like you guys are in a total rut. do you guys go out socialising? you may be taking her for granted and need to inject some excitement into the relationship. is your physical relationship lacking?


  • #3
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Tell her, tell her, tell her. Tell her exactly how you are feeling. It might hurt her in the short term, but you can work through it together. My boyfriend finished with me because he was bored and never gave us a fair chance to work things through. Don't be as unfair to her.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here.

    Yes I think we are in a bit of a rut.
    Our physical relationship is very good but definetely constrained by our current living circumstances.

    We don't go out much - I'd love to (and so would she) but it seems we're getting to that age (early 30s) where it's very difficult to get people to go out and do things anymore.

    I've always been really socialable and active and I think the quiet life is beginning to drive me nuts!


  • #5
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Are you bored with her or bored with being in a relationship? Is it something that can be fixed or have you fallen out of love/lust with your gf?

    I don't think you really have much of a relationship left if you are at the stage that you are actually avoiding certain situation because you don't trust yourself not to be unfaithful. I don't think that is a healthy place to be on any level.

    You need to be in an interesting fulfilling relationship and to do that you either need to have a big heart to heart with your gf and tell her how you feel and what you need to happen to make the relationship worthwhile pursuing or you need to end things and find a better one.

    Best of luck.


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