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I feel like Im pi*sing my life away.

  • 01-04-2010 12:14am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This is the story...

    Im a college student.I like the course and im doing good in it.But Im not doing excellent.I always feel like i dont reach my full potential in all areas of my life.I think it stemmed from in leaving cert when I left it so late to buckle down and get down to work.I started intensively after christmas and had a course in my head that I was shooting for.I literally killed myself but it wasnt good enough for the course i wanted so Im doing my course now.

    I am slowly learning to live with this and learning that putting in work in this course means i can still be successfull if I work my butt off.But i have constant feelings of inadequacy about what college I attend and how I might be looked down on or perceived because of it.I know this is slightly ubsurd but it is the way im wired.For example even at my young age if im in a bar and i end up talking to someone nice and it transpires that they are doing something prestigous in one of the bigger universities it makes me feel small for some reason.Im outgoing and amiable enough so i doubt that person im talking to feels this about me but i feel it.Does this make sense to anyone.

    I also feel as if I should have a partime job as most of my friends do so I can go out and socialise but some bad-managers in the past make me feel that im not even good enough for that.

    Basically the crux of the problem is that my self worth is nil.Dont ask me why this is because i do not know.I have a great family,good friends.Deep down inside of me I feel as if I can be extradinory but I just go through the motions.I take the easy way out.As a result of this I feel as if im just melting away..

    I dont really know what i want to be answered in this but even just to share this with someone feels good.I'd like to get some comments on this.Maybe what I need is just someone to tell me to take the hard road to rouse me from this medicore life I have now.Or maybe I want to go after this ''achievement'' thing to make up from my lack of self worth.

    I'm sorry this is a long post but I have had these feelings for so long now and I just needed to get them out.


Comments

  • #2
    Danniboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,416 ✭✭✭Danniboo


    What is the main issue here do you feel like you're not doing your own personal best or is it that you didn't go to the "big elite university". I've never heard of anyone looking down their nose at someone for not going to a university or certain college, that's honestly ridiculous and you shouldn't worry yourself about it you're studying you're improving you're education you're bettering yourself, it doesn't matter whether you do that in a shoe box or Oxford. Forget about people do what you need to do to make you happy. There's certain well known colleges in Ireland that I would not go to out of choice as I have seen first hand how people can change and would not like to associate myself with people who think they're a cut above.


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