BF friend making moves

LegacyUser

hi i've been with my boyfriend 2 years . He has this friend we see once or twice a week but recently he came out with us every night we've been out cause he's having a bad time at work and we thought he could use some distraction so we took him out to our local clubs. One of the clubs we went to he got kinda drunk in, I was ok but I was tired so looked a little more wrecked than usual. My boyfriend went up to the bar and his friend started dancing with me and he put his hands on my backside. I pulled his hands away and shouted "No! Not your property!" and just made a light joke of it. Then he did it again a while later when i was behind my boyfriend going up the stairs to the next floor of the club. And then quickly put his hands on my sides. I pulled his hands away and was looking for my boyfriend.

This same guy claimed that another friend of ours with a boyfriend was making moves on him. I'm starting to think that he was lying about that and that he's the sleaze here.

I didn't say anything to my boyfriend and I can't not see this guy seeing as he's my boyfriend's best friend. I don't want to cause anything between them because I know there was drink involved and that he would deny it.

Should I keep 100% quiet and then confront him if it happens again?

6th

Tell you're bf but mention that his mate had a few drinks. That way it looks like you're not accusing as such just making your bf aware of it.

dublingal80

personally since it only happened on one night out and he was drunk, id let it slide. I wouldnt wanna say it to my bf incase it was that, a once off. I wouldnt want him and his friend to have any cross words over his friends drunken hands. Id just leave it be and if he touched me again on a night out, id tell him to stop, that its not the 1st time that he has done that and can be be a little bit more respectful to me since i am his best friends girlfriend. Anything after that then Id tell my OH

Taltos

Just let your bf know to keep a rein on his mate when there is drink - tell him that while you see they have a great friendship you are not there to be pawed at.
If you say nothing don't be surprised if this so-called mate tries to cover up by claiming you gave him the wrong signals.

Again for me it all comes down to near total honesty in a relationship...

Bottle_of_Smoke

Eh think you should tell your boyfriend. Its not on at all. Don't think he's really a proper mate of your boyfriend

Chucky the tree

I'd definitely tell the bf, If I was your boyfriend I'd be very annoyed If you didn't tell me. If your boyfriend has any sense he will ditch his "best friend" and you'll then be rid of him and won't have to constantly be worrying on nights out.

SarahSassy

Next time the 3 of ye are supposed to be going out, dont go and when your bf asks tell him that he was mauling you the last time and you dont feel comfortable with him.

cafecolour

I generally skew towards 'he was drunk, forget about it', but he had enough cop on to wait until your BF was gone to make a move - so he knew he was being sleazy.

If you imply it's a serious offense to your BF, or that his friend has a longstanding interest in you, it'll probably cause an issue.

I'd say the best way to address it is with humour/pity - ie "Wow XXXXX was drunk last night. When was the last time he had a lay - he seems pretty hard up. He was gaping at anything with breasts - he even kept trying to hump my leg when you were gone." If your BF expresses anger just say like "Oh it's not a big deal, I just swatted him away. We really need to find him a woman soon - god knows he might try and grind with you next."

Basically, don't make it about you - make it about him, and that he's desperate enough that when he's drunk he'll try and hump anything around him.

Even the next time the three of you go out, tell the friend (in front of your BF of course) 'Okay, our mission is to find you a girl tonight.' And on the dance floor enlist your BF to prod him to talk to different women ("What about that one? Go talk to her." etc.)