Moral support

LegacyUser

Hi there.

I'm 25, and in a situation whereby my partner of 4 years broke up with me. I dont really want to go into all the ins and outs, but suffice to say that I was shocked, heartbroken, devastated, but in hindsight I can understand that we had maybe come to the end. We are living together, nobody else. We have seperate rooms. We alternately bicker, are awkward, are too ... easy in our demeanour, are upset, are grand, say inapproriate things, get on like a house on fire...

I've never been in this situation before, is there any advice anyone could give? We will have to live together for another 2 months.

for the record, I don't really mean about introducing new partners or sleeping together again. We've agreed not to get involved with other people until we aren't living together, and I sleeping together isn't a possibility, I couldn't undo the 'getting over it' stuff I've done, it would hurt too much.

Thanks for any advice, or suggestions or even any moral support. This is such a wierd situation.

Scout Finch

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I went through something similar myself a couple of years back – broke up with boyfriend and had to continue living in the same house for a few months. I’m not going to lie to you – it’ll be a tough couple of months. But here’s what I suggest:

• You’re doing the right thing agreeing not to involve other people for the moment. If anything it will force you both to get used to being single and help you avoid a rebound relationship.
• Likewise with the ‘sleeping together’. This will only complicate matters, and stir up even more confusion, especially for you.
• I’d advise that you limit contact with each other as much as possible – I know that’s extra difficult when you live together – but keep yourself as busy as possible. Hang out with friends/family/colleagues. Take up a class, go to the gym, sign up for volunteer work etc.

Remember, you just need to get through the next two months. Hopefully it’ll fly by. Time’s a great healer – just take things one day at a time.

I hope things get better for you soon!

LegacyUser

Thanks Scout Finch. Its good to hear from someone else who's gone through the same thing. I think the hardest thing is this see-saw of emotion: they'll do the things that piss me off, and I'm like 'phew, what an asshole, good thing I'm rid', and then the next hour/day/whatever I'll notice how happy they are and how attractive that is!

Don't get me wrong, I know that the happiness comes from being free of the burden of an unhappy relationship, and the fact that I can see it only now that we're broken up is another sure fire sign that it's a good decision, but god almighty it sucks the big one.

You're right about getting out of the house, I probably am hanging out here too much.

Cheap Thrills!

I'd definitely try to stay out of the house as much as you can and ask him to co-operate with you if things are amicable enough at all.

The less ye see of each other the better it will be.

The recession has thrown together a lot more people in these situations with finances being so tight.

Hang in there, you've done well so far!