The fish is getting nervous because the pond is drying fast

LegacyUser

Hi. Ok, here's the deal. So I was in a relationship for a couple of years and was kinda away from the dating game. Before that relationship, I always found dating & relationships quite easy and it always progressed fairly seamlessly. I'm finding now that it's so much harder. All of the women that I go out with expect so much so quickly. They want me to be perfect and any deviation from that is completely unacceptable. I have a lot of friends and while I'm by no means perfect I'm told I'm a pretty nice guy. I think though you should be accepted for who you are and not have to change to meet some impossible ideal. What do you think though? Do women expect too much? Where did all the great girls I used to meet go? Where do they hang out?

Emme

How old are you? I thought that it got easier for men in the dating game as they got older, not harder. There's an infinity of women out there, maybe you're not looking in the right places.

LegacyUser

Actually, I'm still quite young, I'm 25. It's not that I have trouble meeting women, it's that I have trouble meeting the right type of women. You know, where there's no hidden agenda or unfair demands.

reprazant

Emme wrote: »

How old are you? I thought that it got easier for men in the dating game as they got older, not harder. There's an infinity of women out there, maybe you're not looking in the right places.

What makes you think that it would any different for a lad that a lady?

unclecessna

If you are only 25 then the pond is hardly drying up very fast dude in all fairness.

Why are you in such a hurry to meet a woman and get into another relationship is probably the question you should be really asking yourself - not why you can't meet women who are the right type for you... is there something else missing in your life at the moment that you are trying to paper-over by getting a new girlfriend in such a rush perhaps?

I'm not criticizing you btw, just seems like an odd question for the average 25 year old. Try going to some different places and see what happens. But relax more about this - I see people who are in relationships just for the sake of it quite often and they are not really happy so don't fall into that trap.

LegacyUser

Hi again. I take what your saying on board, I can see how it may seem like I'm in a bit of a rush. It's not that I'm bored or haven't got anything else on, in fact I do keep quite busy both socially and workwise but I don't really want to date a lot of different women, that's just not what I do.

Communicationb

Mate you are 25...trust me you are in your prime...go and have some fun...:)

Barracudaincork

nervous fish wrote: »

I don't really want to date a lot of different women, that's just not what I do.

Then dont date loads of women, get time to know the ones you meet before you decide to date them or not, that way you will have a better judgement of their personality and if you like it etc

As others have said you are only 25, you have many many many years ahead before the pond even looks like its drying up!

icescreamqueen

nervous fish wrote: »

Hi. Ok, here's the deal. So I was in a relationship for a couple of years and was kinda away from the dating game. Before that relationship, I always found dating & relationships quite easy and it always progressed fairly seamlessly. I'm finding now that it's so much harder. All of the women that I go out with expect so much so quickly. They want me to be perfect and any deviation from that is completely unacceptable. I have a lot of friends and while I'm by no means perfect I'm told I'm a pretty nice guy. I think though you should be accepted for who you are and not have to change to meet some impossible ideal. What do you think though? Do women expect too much? Where did all the great girls I used to meet go? Where do they hang out?

I could have written this post, only I am a woman. I was in a long term relationship from age 18-24. Now I am single again. From a female perspective, I think that as you get older, you learn from experience. I think you learn what your wants and needs in a relationship are. However, I would never try to change someone, if they didn't suit me I wouldn't go out with them. I suppose women (and men) do have high expectations in relationships but this is because they now know what they want. However, as was siad, you are in your prime, have lots of fun and enjoy sowing your wild oats. Good girls and guys are out there but they are now harder to meet because at our age, people are always in and out of relationships.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. Perhaps you're right I am still young, maybe I was being a little melodramatic!! Maybe it is time to go a little wild.

gavney1

hey OP, I agree with other posters that you don't need to be feeling the pressure to find a woman at your age (I'm 25 too btw)

But, I HAVE thought what you've thought, that women tend to be more particular the older you get. Like, it seems like they've made mistakes before, and are trying to avoid them again.

I've been on dates in the last couple of years where it seemed more like an interview than a date! When I was 20/21, it wasn't like that at all.

A prime example is AGE DIFFERENCE. I look older than I am, most ppl think I'm about 29/30. I've been out with a few women on a date, getting on great, then they find out that I'm a couple years younger than them and they just look disappointed. I even had a girl say it to me at the end of a date, she just said "Listen, you're just too young for me" (she was only 28!). She could of course just been letting me down gently though!

I'd be interested to hear other women's opinions on age difference - is it really important?

lazygal

gavney1 wrote: »

hey OP, I agree with other posters that you don't need to be feeling the pressure to find a woman at your age (I'm 25 too btw)

But, I HAVE thought what you've thought, that women tend to be more particular the older you get. Like, it seems like they've made mistakes before, and are trying to avoid them again.

I've been on dates in the last couple of years where it seemed more like an interview than a date! When I was 20/21, it wasn't like that at all.

A prime example is AGE DIFFERENCE. I look older than I am, most ppl think I'm about 29/30. I've been out with a few women on a date, getting on great, then they find out that I'm a couple years younger than them and they just look disappointed. I even had a girl say it to me at the end of a date, she just said "Listen, you're just too young for me" (she was only 28!). She could of course just been letting me down gently though!

I'd be interested to hear other women's opinions on age difference - is it really important?

This is a whole other thread, but I always had a set "age" in mind. When I met my current partner his age was a big problem for me (its an eight year gap and he was over my "limit"!). TBH it took me a good month or so to get over it but I realised if I met him at a different time we might not have clicked so well or wanted the same things from life. He is very upfront about wanting a family, settling down etc and guys my age don't seem to want that, so I'd prefer him because he wants the same things from life I do.

Anyway, back OT, do you really want a relationship or is it just that you are scared of being alone? Better alone and confident than scared in a substandard relationship. I was in a few relationships that, in hindsight, didn't work because I was so pleased to be with someone that I didn't think about what I really wanted from a relationship.

icescreamqueen

gavney1 wrote: »

hey OP, I agree with other posters that you don't need to be feeling the pressure to find a woman at your age (I'm 25 too btw)

But, I HAVE thought what you've thought, that women tend to be more particular the older you get. Like, it seems like they've made mistakes before, and are trying to avoid them again.

I've been on dates in the last couple of years where it seemed more like an interview than a date! When I was 20/21, it wasn't like that at all.

A prime example is AGE DIFFERENCE. I look older than I am, most ppl think I'm about 29/30. I've been out with a few women on a date, getting on great, then they find out that I'm a couple years younger than them and they just look disappointed. I even had a girl say it to me at the end of a date, she just said "Listen, you're just too young for me" (she was only 28!). She could of course just been letting me down gently though!

I'd be interested to hear other women's opinions on age difference - is it really important?

Again, I could have written this post word for word. I don't think age should matter too much but then I'm looking at it from a different viewpoint. For about two months, I dated a great guy who was 29, I'm 24. The age gap came up a couple of times and is ultimately the reason why we broke up in the end. I suppose the way he was looking at it, was that at my age, he was out living the life, sowing his wild oats yadi yada. Now, he's at a stage in his life where he wanted to settle down and find a wife and I didn't fit in with that. However, I think it should come down to happiness together, compatibility etc.

LegacyUser

Hi again. I definitely agree with you on it being more like an interview. I have the same problem in that I look older and tend to date women 28-32ish. With some of them there does seem to be a huge problem with the age gap. I know women always say that age isn't an issue but that's only when they're dating someone older. Ask them to date someone younger and that standpoint changes slightly. I am definitely happy in myself and enjoy living life, I guess I just think it's good to meet someone special is all.

gavney1

OP, glad to see I'm not the only one! Best of luck with your romantic endeavours. As long as you know what YOU want, that's the main thing. You'll find someone perfect for you eventually. Don't take rejection too much to heart. With certain things, rejection can be a good thing even, if you treat it as a learning curve. Like, if you suspect that a girl is turned off cause you're a sloppy dresser or something - then that's at least something you can improve on.

And your age is something you're improving on all the time without any effort - second by second!!!