My GF wants me to call her a whore

Communicationb

Mods...feel free to move this

Basically my g/friend likes to be spanked..which is fine. I am not into it myself but she is and I like pleasing her.

But then she wants me to take her from behind (no probs there) and in the middle of the deed she will say

"Tell me how much of a whore/dirty slut I am"...:eek:

Now I love my GF very much but I find it impossible to start calling her a "whore" and "dirty slut"....

Any comments appreciated.

LegacyUser

What you could do when she asks you to call her a whore / slut is just ask her when she asks you to do it:

"You want me to call you a whore, yeah?"
"you want me to call you a dirty slut, yeah?"

You're not technically calling her those names but it will still have the desired effect for her.

Miss Fluff

It's just talking dirty. It doesn't mean you actually think she is a dirty slut or a whore, it obviously turns her on, at least give it a try. If you don't like it then you'll know you will have tried, you might get quite into it.

Reminds me of this classic SATC episode

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KhQs9EOX84

Barracudaincork

Communicationb wrote: »

I love my GF very much but I find it impossible to start calling her a "whore" and "dirty slut"....

Then these are the words you tell her when she asks you to do it again, she will/should understand.

Elle Collins

You're taking this too seriously. There's a world of difference between a bit of harmless dirty talk that's actually been invited and seriously referring to your partner in those terms.

Barracudaincork

Miss Fluff wrote: »

It's just talking dirty. It doesn't mean you actually think she is a dirty slut or a whore, it obviously turns her on, at least give it a try. If you don't like it then you'll know you will have tried, you might get quite into it.

Elle Collins wrote: »

You're taking this too seriously. There's a world of difference between a bit of harmless dirty talk that's actually been invited and seriously referring to your partner in those terms.

Im sure the OP is only to aware its not going to mean anything, however that doesnt mean he has to be comfortable with it, if he cant do it, he cant do it.

Just like some women would be upset if you said it (even though it wasnt meant as its just dirty talk), some men are upset at the thoughts of saying it.

partyguinness

You should be prob be more worried if she was a whore or dirty slut...

cafecolour

I think you both are thinking of these terms in different ways.

You think 'whore' or 'dirty slut' and you think nasty, STD ridden creature.

She simply thinks 'whore' or 'dirty slut' as woman who enjoys sex (ie 'good' girls just lie there and pretend to like sex for their husbands but really just want babies). Use it in that context.

You're not screaming "you whore, I hate" you. Your going porn star and whispering "You want this, don't you you dirty slut. You like this..." in a cocky manner.

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom - it doesn't mean anything otherwise. Obviously though, if you're still not comfortable with it you can't do it.

And if it's an actual turn off, you may need to compromise. IE if she only likes this style of sex, and if you only like the romantic, stare into my eyes and whisper sweetly style, you may need to alternate or something.

ash23

I think you can talk dirty and satisfy that side of her without using those terms.

Instead of calling her a slut you could say things like "Oh thats so good, you're so kinky, so dirty".
Even throw in a " kinky bitch" remark if you want.

xzanti

ash23 wrote: »

I think you can talk dirty and satisfy that side of her without using those terms.

Instead of calling her a slut you could say things like "Oh thats so good, you're so kinky, so dirty".
Even throw in a " kinky bitch" remark if you want.

No, she wants WHORE SLUT etc, give the girl what she wants OP could be worse

omahaid

If this was a woman posting that her bf wanted her to do something she wasn't entirely comfortable with I don't think people would be advising "its harmless" or "just give it a try".

OP, if you dont feel comfortable with it you should explain this to your OH. She may accept this or she might suggest less extreme suggestions.

I don't see the problem myself. It's just dirty talk, I would have thought it was quite normal and common. It's not like you don't respect her or are using these terms to degrade her.

txt_mess

It may seem uncomfortable for you at the start but hey just think of it as roleplay and try it out in the heat of the moment if she's asking she won't be offended and she appreciate the effort.

Lets face it roleplay is about trying out things that are a bit taboo but when your with someone you trust then everything is worth a try.

If you really dislike the idea you might have to come to a compromise, she maybe a girl who like s the running commentary like "I'm going to do this ..." " bet you'll like it when I do that " etc not particularily offense but descriptive also it might be easier then trying to think of my complex things to say as you basically just shout out what your doing at the time.

wicklori

Communicationb wrote: »

Mods...feel free to move this

Basically my g/friend likes to be spanked..which is fine. I am not into it myself but she is and I like pleasing her.

But then she wants me to take her from behind (no probs there) and in the middle of the deed she will say

"Tell me how much of a whore/dirty slut I am"...:eek:

Now I love my GF very much but I find it impossible to start calling her a "whore" and "dirty slut"....

Any comments appreciated.

Call her anything she wants you to call her. She's asking you to CALL her a slut or a whore, not to SEE her as a whore or a slut or TREAT her as a whore or a slut or THINK she is a whore or a slut.... You get my meaning I'm sure...

She's asking you to use words... What happens during sex stays during sex. They're words, it turns her on. I'm sure (well I hope) she does things for you that turn you on?

They're only words.....

Nevyn

If you are not comfortable with it don't do it.
Have a talk about it and see what your feelings are and why and what hers are too.

This type of name calling in the bedroom is pretty commonplace for a lot of people but
if it's something which is upsetting for you and you can't get your head around it then don't.

TheZohanS

Just a word of advice on the spanking, make sure you use a "safe word" (a word that both of you have pre-agreed on, and once it's said the spanking will stop).

Communicationb

Thanks for the replies...I guess that is the problem....I am worred that by calling her "whore/slut" that it means I am degrading her and seeing her as that..I.just need to get my head around it...TBH I cant say it without breaking my ass laughing and keeping a straight face...:o

shellyboo

Communicationb wrote: »

Thanks for the replies...I guess that is the problem....I am worred that by calling her "whore/slut" that it means I am degrading her and seeing her as that..I.just need to get my head around it...TBH I cant say it without breaking my ass laughing and keeping a straight face...:o

Ultimately, if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. But if it's merely embarrassment and worry that's stopping you, I think you owe it to your gf to at least try to overcome that. If it doesn't work, that's cool... but give it a shot, at least.

Have a read of this, it might give you a different perspective on it. That link's nsfw. Whatever you do, please don't laugh at her over it. That would be really hurtful.

Sharlovesjohn

Why not say it in a deep voice - you feel like your joking around
My OH can get really into it have even slapped him in the face a couple of times He also calls me names as well but says it in a kind of james bond voice so it takes edge of it!

he's also biten me a few times go weak at knees for that one,

we have safe words incase things get to heated I would recommend using them!!

Kicks

OP there are so many guys reading this wishing they could say what your girlfriend wants you to say to her. It's no big deal, it's fantasy dirty talk and it's actually a common enough fantasy.

Wacker

Communicationb wrote: »

TBH I cant say it without breaking my ass laughing and keeping a straight face...:o

Nothing wrong with that; sex should be fun. Now, if you really want to elicit a reaction, call her mom or something!

Darlughda

Communicationb wrote: »

..I.just need to get my head around it...TBH I cant say it without breaking my ass laughing and keeping a straight face...:o

OP, this may be hard to consider, but do you think there might be a chance you and your gf are sexually incompatible? There are loads of relationships between best friends who really don't satisfy what the other person longs for deep down, and often a good few years down the line a third party may come along who just has that essential ingredient.

Needless to emphasize the pain and difficulty that can cause.

If it is a case for you of feeling a bit about to go wtf? Then that's you. You can't deny what you are, what works for you, and ultimately what you want no less than she can.

I resonate with the stuff your girlfriend is asking from you, I thought Shellybo's link was so hot, very informative, but if I was with a man who I loved, and they wanted nurses' outfits, for example, thats just not my thing, never will be no matter how hard I would try to please him, that would make me fall apart laughing, and not in a wanting anything to do with sex kind of humour.

So ultimately, for me, that example would become a deal breaker in the sex department, and therefore the relationship.
If I was going to be totally honest with myself and him, I would just have to say no, this is not for me.

_Kaiser_

Sounds to me like a bit of harmless fantasy - enjoy it.

Side note: Moving away from the OP specifically, it's interesting how the era of (what I call) the touchy-feely, PC, in-touch-with-your-feminine-side mentality from the US has affected a lot of men in this way.

25/30 years ago this would have been seen as a bit of fun and something different and exciting.. a bit "naughty" if you will! - now we have to worry if we're somehow degrading her .. even though she's asking to be called it!

Maybe it's me watching too much Mad Men lately (;)), but in "the good ole days" men and women both knew their roles and I think (while there were certainly a lot of negatives - and still are today I hasten to add!), in some ways this certainty made for a smoother relationship?

Southsider1

Wacker wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that; sex should be fun. Now, if you really want to elicit a reaction, call her mom or something!

Call her by her sisters name and see how long you can hang on:D

Silverfish

Southsider1, please read the charter before posting. This isn't AH.