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Am I destined to being single?

  • 31-03-2010 2:42am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi.

    i've been bothered for a while about this. i've never been in a relationship with a girl before. there are a few very strong reasons why that is but i've been thinking about for a while now. i am 20 and i am aware that i am not the only person like this. i'm a very analytical person so i started looking at myself and trying to compare myself to friends/family/colleagues etc.

    i used to be a very (and still am a bit if i were honest) shy kind of guy. never had much nerve asking girls out. i feel that i am immature compared to most people my age. i still live with my parents and most of the time, they still do things for me. i have decided to change that and i would take every opportunity i get to do things myself (cleaning dishes, preparing my own food, etc.) to make myself more independent and hopefully more mature. people still see me as being childish. i met a girl a while ago and we were friends for a few months. i always liked her but just never had the guts to tell her from the start. i told her that i thought of moving out to live on my own and laughed a bit because she thought my parents did everything for me because she saw me one time when i invited her over to my place for dinner (parents made the food). strange thing though is that i helped out with some things for her like trying to sort out her car once or getting notes for her for classes she missed, etc.. i told her anyway that i liked her but she did not feel the same so that was that.

    i am generally a confident person. i lack a lot of confidence in certain areas but i'm fine in most. ofcourse what that girl said would have had an effect on me for me to write about this but it did make me start to think about my maturity. i will not deny that i am still lounging about a lot enjoying life like a teenager would but my thinking has definitely changed and i am intending on being more proactive with helping out in the house and eventually moving out.

    i have always had ambitions so i feel like i am not going to go anywhere in terms of relationships so i should just focus on myself but i know myself and i have longed for a relationship for a long time. so is there any hope for me or should i accept that i am not the relationship type and just move on with my life my way?


Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Not being able to ask girls out does not mean your not the relationship type, it just means you're a bit shy. Being stuck in your own ways and refusing to compromise makes someone not the relationship type ;)

    You'll find someone eventually. Basic tips:

    - Don't obsess on getting a relationship too much - it'll make you seem desperate instead of relaxed

    - Join a club/take classes/get hobbies. Not only does it help you meet people, it's a confidence builder and also gives you something to talk about besides what you want to do

    - When you meet a girl, express interest more at the outset so you don't end up in the friendzone

    - It's more about meeting a lot of girls until you find one you click with rather than pining for one girl for ages who may/man not return your interest


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