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Dating in America

  • 31-03-2010 2:18am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Sorry this is going to sound like I'm about 15 but anyway... I'm actually 25 but I'm asking advice anyway.

    I'm an Irish guy living in Boston. I'm not here all that long. I got chatting to an American girl here lately and asked her out for a drink. We met up at the weekend and got on great. I think she had a good time too, she text me right after saying she had a good time and all that. We've talked since and are getting on good.

    Now here's the snap. I want to ask her out again but not sure how to do it. She's a quiet enough girl, well, she's really chatty and everything but like when we met it was just for a quiet drink to see how it goes and all that so I didnt make any moves or anything, it wasn't a late night.

    Thing is, I want to ask her out again but I think it'd be the 2nd date and I should probably have kissed her to show I'm interested and not end up in a friend zone.

    Anyway, usually its not that hard with Irish girls, you meet up, have a few drinks, some dancing and its easy enough to kiss the girl. I find this a bit different though since I don't see me taking her to a club or something on the 2nd date and don't want it to be a kind of awkward one where we are just talking and not get the oppertunity and I think after 2 dates, if I dont at least kiss her I'll end up in a friend zone....

    So... again, sorry for sounding like I'm 15 but...
    Where should I take her or what should I do to convey my interest. Dating over here is a lot different to the usual, text, meet up, dancing and have a bit of a kiss.

    Oh man, that def sounds like I'm about 15.

    But anyway, advice.... how do I show my interest without it being a big awkward mess.

    Answers on a postcard :)


Comments

  • #2
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,724 ✭✭✭seenitall


    I think it's more about what you do than where you go. Go somewhere fun and comfortable for both of you. Somewhere where you can chat and "get to know each other better" (THAT corny thing! :p). But DO express your attraction in words (compliments? flirting?) AND in body language (a bit of physical contact should do it, nothing major, but a little appropriate touch here and there is usually a nice unassuming signal). Then if you see by her responses and her body language that it's a go, you do your stuff...

    May the luck of the Irish be with you! :D


  • #3
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,854 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    agree with above, Never been to Boston but suggest a Saturday afternoon in the cultural area, take in a museum or 2 , some nice cafes and a walk in the park.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #4
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Do you know what she likes? Do something together- a movie,a walk, a museum, bowling....


  • #5
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Dating in america is a bit different, yes, in the sense that it seems to be more quiter/one-on-one initially and in Ireland tends to be more out with mates or in a pub/club.

    The initial quiet drink and then meet-up again is generally how you do it - that she wants a 2nd round means she's interested.

    Ask her out for dinner/museum/park/etc - there's a lot of good suggestions.

    I 2nd that you then lay the groundwork during the date - flirt, physical contact. It should come naturally - a basic one would be, if you're at a museum for instance, a light touch on the back of her upper arm or back while gesturing towards something with your other arm. She'll likely start responding in kind.

    For the kiss, it'd come near the end of the date. You can wait until the very end (ie the goodnight kiss - start with a peck and then it grows), but that might just increase your nervousness.

    You can end the date by going to a quiet pub together and getting a drink. Sit next to her, not across from her. Slowly slide together closely as you talk, etc.

    You can enjoy finding a nice moment when walking (on the street, park, etc.) - you're talking, looking at her. Suddenly you stop, look at her, and say "You know, I'd really like to kiss you right now."

    Read her signals, you'll be fine ;)


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