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mental breakdown

  • 31-03-2010 1:40am
    #1
    Lolnouska
    Closed Accounts Posts: 136 ✭✭


    I'm nineteen.
    and i would appreciate some help.
    i need to find someone or some organisation that i can talk to about how how my alcoholic boyfriend is ruining my life and i feel like my heart cant take it anymore and i dont know what to do.

    i felt angry earlier but now i feel totally numb. and i dont remember what ive been doing for the last hour.

    please someone help me.


Comments

  • #2
    littlefriend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭littlefriend


    You are 19 - get away from him before he ruins you as well as himself. There is no reason for you to have a **** life because he does. You probably feel like you want to save him from himself/he has no one else and needs you etc but the reality is that you can't stop him doing what he is going to do. It is better that you walk away. Do not allow him to manipulate you.

    Speak to alanon - http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/

    Other than that if you go to your GP I think they can refer you to a counselor within the HSE which is free of charge (you might be waiting a while though).

    If you can afford to pay for a counselor your GP will have recommendations they can give you for someone in your area.


  • #3
    Lolnouska
    Closed Accounts Posts: 136 ✭✭Lolnouska


    i kicked a hole through his wall because he made me so angry that he's back drinking, when he's on anti depressants.
    iive done all i can to help him.
    i dont want to leave his house. im here now.
    i dont know what to do with myself

    im sober by the way but i feel intoxicated with all these emotions running through my head.

    i feel empty yet full.
    i cant get through to any 24 hour lines to talk to someoe

    his loser friend is downstairs

    he just told me to get out and that he;'s broken up with me,
    witch is rich coming from him, im the one who leaves him every time he screws up/

    i just want him to realise im the only one who wants to help him and loves him with all my heart, but im the one person he hurts so badly when he does this.

    i feel in danger yet i feel numb.
    i cant go home because my dad left and no one is home and im about 60 euro away in a taxi

    i want the pain to go away

    i dont even know why im writing

    ''
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Because of someone else's drinking….[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Am I worried?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Am I losing sleep?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do I feel sorry for myself, inadequate or guilty?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Am I ashamed of my situation?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do I ever feel embarrassed by the drinker's behaviour?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do I make excuses for the drinker and take on their responsibilities?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Am I tired, nervous, depressed?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Am I short-tempered and frustrated at times?[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Do I ever feel desperate and alone?''[/FONT]




    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]all of the above, yes.[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]i hate my life because of him.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]i hate my life because i have no one to talk to[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]i hate it because i feel so lost yet stuck.[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]how will i ever get away[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
    [/FONT]


  • #4
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    Destructive, destructive, destructive, both him, and you.

    You're 19 years old. The fact that you think you love him more than anybody else in the world isn't a good enough reason to stay in your relationship. You will never be proven right. You will never be vindicated. You will never be held up as a shining light that saved him. You will never be thanked, and you will never be apologised to with any meaningful apology that won't result in a relapse.

    There is no respect in your relationship - neither of you respect either yourselves or each other. This will not change. He will not stop drinking for you. He can only do that for himself, and it seems he doesn't want to.

    You want to know how to get away? Pack a bag, walk out the door and don't look back. Pay the 60 euro for a taxi and sit on the doorstep until someone appears who can let you in - or go to a friend's place.

    Longer term, stop leaving him just to return every time, back to the mess like a dog to its own vomit. You're wasting your life.

    What you're experiencing isn't a relationship, it's a mess. These episodes aren't a bump in the road, they're a massive issue. This treatment isn't normal - you cannot excuse feeling endangered and kicking holes in the wall as 'every couple fights'.

    Leave, and then get counselling to figure out what the hell you were doing in there in the first place. Oh - and change your mobile number.


  • #5
    littlefriend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,900 ✭✭✭littlefriend


    The Sweeper wrote: »
    Destructive, destructive, destructive, both him, and you.

    You're 19 years old. The fact that you think you love him more than anybody else in the world isn't a good enough reason to stay in your relationship. You will never be proven right. You will never be vindicated. You will never be held up as a shining light that saved him. You will never be thanked, and you will never be apologised to with any meaningful apology that won't result in a relapse.

    There is no respect in your relationship - neither of you respect either yourselves or each other. This will not change. He will not stop drinking for you. He can only do that for himself, and it seems he doesn't want to.

    You want to know how to get away? Pack a bag, walk out the door and don't look back. Pay the 60 euro for a taxi and sit on the doorstep until someone appears who can let you in - or go to a friend's place.

    Longer term, stop leaving him just to return every time, back to the mess like a dog to its own vomit. You're wasting your life.

    What you're experiencing isn't a relationship, it's a mess. These episodes aren't a bump in the road, they're a massive issue. This treatment isn't normal - you cannot excuse feeling endangered and kicking holes in the wall as 'every couple fights'.

    Leave, and then get counselling to figure out what the hell you were doing in there in the first place. Oh - and change your mobile number.

    This is the best advice you will ever get. Please take it. Your situation is not unique - I could nearly have written the reply you were going to give. People always say the same things in this scenario. From what you say you have no financial ties to this guy and no children - there is no reason to stay with him. It sounds like you are addicted to the drama of it all, don't become a martyr, its just pointless. Leave


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