Jilted Java Teenager Cuts off Penis and Throws it Down Well

m@cc@

http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/home/central-java-man-cuts-off-own-penis/366451

Jilted Java Teenager Cuts off Penis and Throws it Down Well

Devastated by the news that his girlfriend was going to marry another man, a teenager from a village in Central Java cut off his own penis in a fit of despair.

Any hopes of reattaching the severed member were dashed after the 19-year-old threw the appendage into a well and it could not be found by residents of Bantasari village.

Sugeng Budi Susanto, director of Cilacap General Hospital, said on Monday that it was extremely fortunate that medical personnel were able to save the life of the teenager, who was identified only by the initials AMD.

He arrived at the hospital last Thursday in critical condition from blood loss, Sugeng said. “It was a critical time,” he said. “Cutting off a penis can be fatal.”

Sugeng said that after several days in the intensive care unit, the teenager had been transferred to a standard recovery room, though he was being provided with additional security to ward off the swarm of journalists besieging the hospital.

Sugeng appealed to journalists not to bother the family given the sensitive nature of the injury.

“The patient is in shock over what he experienced,” he said. “Reporters can ask the family about this case, but do not interfere with their comfort.”

Though family members declined to comment, a source confirmed that AMD had cut of his penis after he discovered his girlfriend intended to marry another man.

“The sliced-off penis has not been found,” the source said. “Allegedly, AMD threw it into the well with the intention of committing suicide because he thought nobody would be able to save his life.”

Sugeng said the teenager had still not spoken to anyone about the incident. “He’s still too shocked and embarrassed to talk to or see anyone.”

I've recently parted ways with my other half but Jesus! :eek:

jd007

How's he going to piss?:pac:

MrStuffins

That guy is ri-dick-less






I'll get my coat

m@cc@

"Would ye shag her?"

"Nah, it'd be like throwing a penis down a well"

digme

holy ****....... no way a bitch is worth your willy,omfg, what a ****ing lunatic.

MarkR

Should have thrown her down the well.

m@cc@

MarkR wrote: »

Should have thrown her down the well.

Only if she was a Jew.

cafecolour

Ugh! My guy has gone into hiding just thinking of it!

I can read about beheading and dismemberment without blinking, but any groin injuries and it's an automatic visceral response.

Abrasax

Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

4zn76tysfajdxp

So that's what happened to javaboy...

kryogen

That must have been some serious pussy!

or maybe, Lady Gaga just couldnt take those rumours anymore

tipperaryboy

That's madness he must of been very upset.imagine the pain after doing it.

I've seen this on 4chan a few times... Not nice and cannot be unseen.

stovelid

Should have opted for a Jilted Java Juvenile headline.

What's happened to standards of alliteration in the press?

WindSock

omg, she shoulda married him, he sounds like a real catch.
Maybe he was trying to use the phrase, 'if I had a bag of mickeys, I wouldn't give her one'

arybvtcw0eolkf

I'm often told I'm as horny as a dog with two mickeys, but I'm damned if I'll cut one of 'em off :eek:

bonerm

Did he really have to maim himself to such an extent? Could he not have done something less extreme, like maybe just krakatoa?

eddie the eagle

putting the bobbit out of business in one fell swoop

pickarooney

stovelid wrote: »

Should have opted for a Jilted Java Juvenile headline.

What's happened to standards of alliteration in the press?

Non-newsworthy news, egregious editorials, wantonly woeful writing, severely short-sighted sub-editing, piss poor puns, absent alliteration, pathetic publishing, erroneous editing, rubbish reporting.

Allicronyms FTW

Gummy Panda

He has no dick now. They should've let him bleed out.

If I was him, I wouldve wanted that

AnonoBoy

I don't understand.... wouldn't that, y'know, really hurt?

m@cc@

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I don't understand.... wouldn't that, y'know, really hurt?

He's properly ****ed now. (Probably for the last time, though)

Spore

Substitute "John" for "Java Juvenile"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN45OjB-cCU

Yakult

Thats what you call dedication to a woman.

In a ****ed up way

walshkvn

Just crazy ... with everything going on, I suppose I'm now still glad I can piss. There is always a silver lining.

bonerm

walshkvn wrote: »

Just crazy ... with everything going on, I suppose I'm now still glad I can piss. There is always a silver lining.

That'll be the mercury you swallowed.

Fizman

walshkvn wrote: »

Just crazy ... with everything going on, I suppose I'm now still glad I can piss. There is always a silver lining golden shower.

:pac:

Wazdakka

What the hell man??
I mean really... What the Hell??

That guy was a gob****e..
If he really felt that bad about it he should have thrown himself down the well...

Was the gesture somehow supposed to win her back?
Well that aint gonna work mate.. you're fairly useless to her now.

Social darwinism at work tbh..
I'm glead this person has removed themselves from the gene pool.

This is why people shouldn't learn about Van Gogh.

orourkeda

To think, a lifetime of self gratification cut off in it's prime.

He mustnt have knocked one out in his lifetime

pickarooney

Maybe she told him she liked the cock well in but he misunderstood?

Glenster

Listen guys we're all here saying how this is out of order but let's give this guy a break.

He lost his girlfriend, that calls for drastic measures, he thought long and hard about what would bring her back and he took a chance, maybe it didn't work out he who dares wins, he'll never sit at home when he's 70 thinking, "Maybe if I had chopped off my peeper she would have come back to me".

He'll aways have that.

bonerm

His name was Timmy NO'Toole.

/simpsons.

Luno

Glenster wrote: »

Listen guys we're all here saying how this is out of order but let's give this guy a break.

He lost his girlfriend, that calls for drastic measures, he thought long and hard about what would bring her back and he took a chance, maybe it didn't work out he who dares wins, he'll never sit at home when he's 70 thinking, "Maybe if I had chopped off my peeper she would have come back to me".

He'll aways have that.

The article is about you isn't it!

Noopti

jd007 wrote: »

How's he going to piss?:pac:

Through his new mangina......

Hank_Jones

We need to get Sting on the case...

MarkR

Can't even get a sponge bath with a happy ending now in hospital from any hot asian nurses. That's sad.

galwayrush

Aw Well, life goes on.:pac:

NoDice

Glenster wrote: »

Listen guys we're all here saying how this is out of order but let's give this guy a break.

He lost his girlfriend, that calls for drastic measures, he thought long and hard about what would bring her back and he took a chance, maybe it didn't work out he who dares wins, he'll never sit at home when he's 70 thinking, "Maybe if I had chopped off my peeper she would have come back to me".

He'll aways have that.

Heh heh, you said long and hard in a post about a chopped off penis... Heh heh...

**Timbuk2**

He should have put the penis in an envelope and sent it to the ex-girlfriend.

jackiebaron

Depressing!

gustavo

public static void ooooooooooowwwww

Darksaga87

Fukc that.

Antar Bolaeisk

Ouch!

Darksaga87 wrote: »

Fukc that.

Not any more he won't

orourkeda

Abrasax wrote: »

Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Cutting off your shaft to spite your ex

orourkeda

Noopti wrote: »

Through his new mangina......

His manny, munt, mange. Theres just so many to choose from

Morrisseeee

Ah well, at least he's now 'lead-free' :eek::eek::eek:

recylingbin

#include kitchenKnife

public static void main(String args[])
{
removePenis(body);
}

int remove penis(knife, idiocy, bf, gf, penis,body)
{
if idiocy = boyfriend - girlfriend
{
body = bf - penis;
}
return body;
}






Christ it has been a while since I coded in java.

Darksaga87

All he needed was a hug.