mates and your sister??

enzo7

Just wanted to get a male view on this. My brother would go crazy if i ever got one of his friends. Do all guys feel like this??

Basicially if i was meeting him for a drink he would warn them all before hand to be on their best behaviour (they have told me). If he thinks one of them is been abit too flirty he will pull them up on it!!!. The thing is ive had text messages from 3 of them that could competely hang them (he would go mad if he even know they had my no. My friends think his abit syco. Is his behaviour normal are all brothers like this??? I am his only sister and we are close. The thing is id never date any of them he use live with me and i always got the full report of their sat nite antics on sunday.

helimachoptor

Yes, the one mate of mine that has a sister that i'd actually do.. he'd probably insist on having a couple of Delta Force Snipers around incase i acted inappropriately!

Panthro

i went out with a mates sister once.
me and her were getting on great before anything happened, but i made it clear to her from the off nothing would happen if mate didnt approve.
few weeks later mate said to me he knows me better than anyone so if i make her happy i have his approval. we also agreed never to mention her good bad or indifferent, it worked out nicely.
me and her broke up, he got his wing man back,
smiles all round

viclemronny

The above story is the ideal(well, the ideal is probably happily ever after, but I digress).

However, there is something to be said for the 'what if ye break up scenario?' He's going about it the wrong way, if that's it. Obviously, most guys wouldn't want their mates just sleeping with their sisters, but if a friend genuinely liked her and wanted to form a relationship, a lot of guys would have no problem on that score.

But again, we come back to the break up scenario. I think it's fairly safe to assume that everyone's had a bad breakup. Then the brother gets put in the middle of things. The two involved may be good about it and do their best not too but then again he might be forced to pick sides. Also, the fact of not having them run into each other if it was really bad, etc.

TL;DR

Most guys would be ok with the idea of a friend dating their sister. Most guys would also be worried about what happens if/when they break up. Most guys handle things better than your bro(no offense intended)

Bottle_of_Smoke

First off I don't have a sister.

I reckon the reason he has a problem is because if you got with one of his mates the dynamic of his relationship with that mate is irreversibly changed.

And I believe that is perfectly reasonable.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Most of the lads I know would be protective of their sister, ie you can go out, but don't hurt her.
One of my friends in particular though is a complete nut when it comes to his yonger sister, he's 20 and she's 16, she's in my year and he often asks me is there any lads sniffing around her and that I've to keep an eye on her in school and if anyone goes near her to tell him and he'll kick their heads in.

Yeah there hae been a few around her, good friends of mine, but I wouldn't dream of telling him, God knows what he would do to them.

Raze_them_all

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

First off I don't have a sister.

I reckon the reason he has a problem is because if you got with one of his mates the dynamic of his relationship with that mate is irreversibly changed.

And I believe that is perfectly reasonable.

A mate of mine slept with one of my sisters a few years ago, gave me a woeful slagging, I've now slept with both of his, surprisingly he doesn't slag me that much.

Op: alot of people react differently, I don't mind my sisters sleeping with who they want, I don't interfere with them and they don't interfere with me

MrStuffins

My mate liked my sister and i kinda knew. One day he pulled me aside and said he'd really like to ask her out but would never do so unless i gave the go ahead. I didnt feel all too great about it but said "Go ahead"

That was about 6 years ago and now they're happily married with a kid. My mate is now my brother in law and my sister couldn't have married a better guy so i know she's happy.

entropi

Its just that most guys know what their mates are like with other women, so try to not allow that to happen with their own sister. OP i know that when i was younger it would have been me doing the defending if my sis was old enough for my mates, but these days its grand as she's taken and so are they :P

shoes34

Hi, I dated my brothers friend for 8 months and they didn't mind, I think sometimes the other lads might have been slagging my boyfriend and my brothers when they were out but all in all they were fine about it. We broke up and there has been no fall out. Actually one of my brother's and the ex were on a stag recently and they went off having drinks themselves in another bar before meeting up with the other lads so I think the best thing to do is be there for your sister/brother but don't tell anyone what to do.

enzo7

Thanks guys been reading through your replys with great intrest:).

Some of you have mentioned how you have actually dated mates sisters or vice vers and even one married your sis, i know for a fact my bro wouldnt let me get close enough to one of his friends for this to happen!!!! not to mention sleep with one of them ! he would go off his head!!!I think there is def an element of he knows what the mates are like with girl!! but haven said that a few of them are in relationships and are very good boyfriends also they all really respect the fact im outa bounds and even though i get the flirty texts from a few of them and the suggestive comments non of them would cross the line because they know there friendship would be over. There is about 10 of then in the group and the thing is he luvs them all to bits they spend alot of time together they are lads lads!! luv beer football and the xbox:D.

Just reading yer replys does confirm he is a little ott, lets just hope i never fall in luv with any of them haha!!

leahyl

I have been mad about my brothers friend for a long time and recently i just couldn't take the secrecy anymore so my mum told my brother (there was no way i was telling him myself!) Anyway he was NOT happy - said we wouldn't be right for each other and that it would be weird for HIM (my brother) etc etc even though he's the nicest guy in the world and i've known him for years - the protective thing with brothers can be very annoying :mad:!

Handsome Bob

I once got threatened by a friend when there were rumours his sister was chasing me. :pac: I think it's connected to male bravadoness, it makes them feel tough and masculine to be protective of their sister. Most of the time, if you asked for a logical reason as to why they act this way, they will fail to do so.

Need2Know4Sure

I think most fella's would be protective of their sisters, especially a younger sister.

Then again it might just depend on the mate.

enzo7

Its not just one mate though its all of them!! Im actually older than him but our childhood friends apart everyone alse thinks his the older one:rolleyes:.I think its the way he talks about me though.

I do agree if you asked him he could not come up with one logical reason why! Tbh i always though his behaviour was normal until a few of my friends started making comments about it.

enzo7

leahyl wrote: »

I have been mad about my brothers friend for a long time and recently i just couldn't take the secrecy anymore so my mum told my brother (there was no way i was telling him myself!) Anyway he was NOT happy - said we wouldn't be right for each other and that it would be weird for HIM (my brother) etc etc even though he's the nicest guy in the world and i've known him for years - the protective thing with brothers can be very annoying :mad:!

OMG He sounds like my brother, Though if i did fancy one of his mates i wouldnt be afraid to tell him but i know the friend would!!! So did anything happen with the mate no??? That kinda sucks alright!!

CDfm

Its a bit of an extreme reaction and it would depend on the age.

I have a teenage daughter and have to tolerate her dating and when she dates guys I might think they are spotty gits but I tolerate it.

My son on the other hand has this thing about his social life and hers being seperate but hasnt had a real problem with it and I dont think would.

My sister did date a friend of mine but ended up marrying a geek. So left to her own devices she had bad taste.

My advice is your bro doesnt own you or his friends and its part of growing up. If the guy is a nice guy do as you would with any other guy just be a bit more discreet til he gets used to the idea.

Bottle_of_Smoke

LZ5by5 wrote: »

I once got threatened by a friend when there were rumours his sister was chasing me. :pac: I think it's connected to male bravadoness, it makes them feel tough and masculine to be protective of their sister. Most of the time, if you asked for a logical reason as to why they act this way, they will fail to do so.

That doesn't make sense in this scenario though. Guys who aren't objecting to their sisters having boyfriends but are objecting to said sister dating one of their friends.

Being "protective" would surely make them enthusiastic about her dating a friend who he knows/trusts rather than some guy thebrother knows nothing about.

Seems to me its just more the guy doesn't want the dynamic of his friendships changed