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Hen Night

  • 29-03-2010 9:51am
    #1
    cheesey1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭


    Hi,

    My friend is having her hen night shortly and as much as I want to go its in another country and unfortunately money is tight at the moment, have a mortgage to pay, my tenant has moved out so looking for a replacement and it also coincides with another friends first anniversary mass. I really want to go the anniversary mass as his passing was a tragedy in our small community. She was not friends with him and I feel she may not understand why I can't attend. I have arranged to meet her for lunch this week so going to break the news then. Can anyone give me advice if they have been in this situation or anything similar?

    thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    Tell her all the three reasons you have just given, money, tenants moving out and the anniversary mass. TBH anyone that books a hen party abroad will realise the majority of people cant either make it or afford it, so she wont be surprised, disappointed yes and she is allowed to be (as long as she doesnt make you feel bad).

    You will be going to the wedding and after all that is the important part! :)


  • #3
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Money is a perfectly acceptable excuse, especially when the hen is in another country. If it was local or even somewhere that you could attend for a couple of hours before going home, then perhaps she might be a little put out, but you can be sure that you won't be the only person saying that you can't afford it.

    As BIC above says, the wedding is the important bit, the hen is just a bit of a party.


  • #4
    cheesey1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭cheesey1


    sorry spelling mistake in my post - its in another county, not country!! but yes she should understand, she doesn't have a mortgage but she does pay rent so she should understand. Thanks.


  • #5
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    cheesey1 wrote: »
    its in another county, not country!!

    Well that just makes it worse!!! Its more expensive in Ireland to go away and to go out than abroad!!! :) Your reasons still stand up just as much.


  • #6
    Lana80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 156 ✭✭Lana80


    Hi Cheesey,I think go,for a little while anyway.I understand that money is tight,am sure it's the same for many going to the hen.I think if I was in your shoes and she was a good friend,that I would feel guilty if I didnt show up at some point.That's my view anyway.If it was in a different country I could understand you not going at all.Good luck anyway .


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  • #7
    Walls
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,258 ✭✭✭Walls


    You have nothing to worry about. Firstly having it abroad means that quite a few won't be attending, and having your own personal reasons for not going make it even more appropriate to stay home. I'm a bit surprised that it is abroad, to be honest, surely that is asking a lot of your guests?


  • #8
    omahaid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭omahaid


    cheesey1 wrote: »
    sorry spelling mistake in my post - its in another county, not country!!
    Walls wrote: »
    You have nothing to worry about. Firstly having it abroad means that quite a few won't be attending, and having your own personal reasons for not going make it even more appropriate to stay home. I'm a bit surprised that it is abroad, to be honest, surely that is asking a lot of your guests?

    I had my stag recently. Some people said they couldn't go, I didn't ask for reasons because I assumed people had good ones. I was more annoyed at the people who said they would go and then didn't turn up...

    I'm sure your friend will understand if you can't go, so I wouldn't stress too much.


  • #9
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    Lana80 wrote: »
    If it was in a different country I could understand you not going at all.Good luck anyway .

    Would you still go for a little bit if the hen was in Tralee and you lived in Arklow?
    Walls wrote: »
    You have nothing to worry about. Firstly having it abroad means that quite a few won't be attending, and having your own personal reasons for not going make it even more appropriate to stay home. I'm a bit surprised that it is abroad, to be honest, surely that is asking a lot of your guests?

    The OP clarified she meant county and not country, but i do agree with you it is a lot to ask people to go abroad for a party, a wedding is one thing, a party another.


  • #10
    cheesey1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭cheesey1


    I would go for a short while if I didn't have to drive 3 hours to get there and as I said a friend who died in tragic circumstances last year's anniversary mass and I would like to be there for that.

    I know another friend is thinking of driving up after the mass but she can afford to go. The hotel the wedding is on costs a fortune too and whereas before I would have stayed over night I think I am going to organise a lift home at maybe 3am but thats not till the end of May.


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