internet dating query

LegacyUser

Ok, on a dating site and met a guy who I quite like - we just had one date but we will meet again. Thing is he is still on the site - i can see him without logging on. I know this is normal. But I am afraid to log on to when he is on as this may be weird for us. What are others experiences of this? What is the best way to go about it?

Sanjuro

Are you two exclusive? Has he made a declaration of love? Has he proposed marriage? You've gone on one date. One. Date. He may still be keeping his options open, which is perfectly normal at this stage. Try talking to him personally than trying to second-guess his intentions based on him logging into a website. Christ, sometimes I think inter-personal relationships were a whole lot easier before the internet!

LegacyUser

hi, i said it was one date - your post is not particularly helpful. i know what you mean - internet dating has its own negative points

Barracudaincork

Sanjuro wrote: »

Are you two exclusive? Has he made a declaration of love? Has he proposed marriage? You've gone on one date. One. Date. He may still be keeping his options open, which is perfectly normal at this stage. Try talking to him personally than trying to second-guess his intentions based on him logging into a website. Christ, sometimes I think inter-personal relationships were a whole lot easier before the internet!

Wow totally uncalled for IMO.

The impression i got from the OP's post is that she doesnt know what do to when the two of them are online at the same time, not i cant believe is online after one date! She is afraid it will be weird. The reason she told us about the one date is so we could get prespective as to what has happened between them.

OP just go online and dont think too much of him being on there at the same time and if he is just chat as normal etc

Miss Fluff

Just carry on as normal OP and log on when you want, don't let the fact that he is online stop you from carrying on as normal. It would be more weird if you suddenly stopped going online altogether....

LegacyUser

As someone who's just starting out in the world of internet dating but has picked up a lot of advice -

Go online. Keep your options open. Don't worry if he's online at the same time - if anything he may be wondering why you aren't. He may suspect you're really into him and you aren't even thinking of keeping your options open - this may or may not be true.

I know it sounds childish and like game playing (and I guess it is) but there's no good to come from seeming too available to him right now. It isn't always an attractive quality at the start of a possibly budding relationship...

You sound like a very sweet girl and sensitive to his feelings which is great but I really would recommend carrying on "business" as normal. He won't mind and it won't be awkward.

mobilecore

Sadly,
this is a common problem that happens on dating sites. People having an issue with the other still using the site.
As you said its only one date. So he can still use this site at this stage. I know you mightnt like that, most wouldnt if they met someone they really really like but this early you just have to let things play out. Its only been one date


My opinion on meeting someone from a dating site is that after X amount of dates (say... 5 or 6 dates) it really should be going somewhere. If someone was still using the site then it wouldnt be really saying much. Of course it could also mean the "lets go steady / relationship" conversation hasnt happened. But by X amount of dates someone really should know if they like someone. No point to date someone you are not that into. So the conversation should be mentioned or using the site should be stopped. There is too much nonsense like "I only use it for the forums!" and "I've got friends on there" ...

So thats the general rule. if you are in a relationship with someone, after X amount of dates, get off the site. It can create hassle and can often is a tell-tale sign that the person itsnt that interested if they refuse too. But Op thats nothing you should worry about yet lol.

LegacyUser

Since your date have ye kept in contact by text etc? he could be online in the hope that you might come online and get chattin to ya? if ye have agreed to meet again on a date id imagine he likes you and that hes only just passing time on the site...i log into pof at different times throughout the day out of pure habit....not because there is a gaggle of men there dying to talk with me...chance would be afine thing! sure the next time ur on ur date just jokingly bring it up.if things progress...after 3 or 4 dates den id expect both people delete their profiles completely.