Wife drinking before she goes out

LegacyUser

Ive noticed my wife having a few drinks before she goes out, prob 1 or 2 house measures of sprits with mixer, but a couple of hours in to the evening and after a few more drinks she "tired" and gets in to a drunken state within a couple of hours. I feel the rest of the party are always looking at us. Ive suggested a number of times no to have a drink before she goes out but falls on deaf ears. Can anyone throw some light on this.

SheRa

Have you asked her why she feels the need to drink before she goes out? That might help you understand why she does it and help you to convince her to stop. I suspect that it might be insecurity on her part about going out meeting people. Now i could be completely wrong but bear it in mind and listen to what she has to say.

6th

I have friends who drink at home before going out to save money. Mind you they are just interested in getting drunk so they are looking for a head start!

SheRa

6th's post reminded me of something i forgot to say in mine. If im a bit broke, to save cash i might have a drink or two before i go out, but i just get the impression that it has nothing to do with money for the op's wife. Could be completely wrong tho.

LegacyUser

I'm fairly shy and if I'm going out to something important or meeting new people, I have a drink to calm at home to calm my nerves. I know it isn't the best thing to do and it's too easy to have more than the one, but socialising when you're shy & quiet can be really hard. Maybe that's your wifes problem also?

username123

OP - on the little info you have posted Id say ask your wife why she does this, explain its a pain in the a$$ for you that she is drunk early on in the night and ask her to stop it or go out later so that she is at the same level as other people. Or ask her to drink water/soft drinks for the first couple of hours once she is out.
But in all seriousness, if you cannot ask your spouse to not have a couple of drinks before going out then there is a problem.

From a broader viewpoint Id ask is there any other worrying behaviour toward alcohol?
If not then chances are that she just wants to chill out and calm the nerves before going out. Maybe there is a self confidence problem?

One way or another - there is a reason why she would do this, its up to you to find out that reason and help her address it (in the context that its causing you a problem).

LegacyUser

Thanks all, It's not the point of saving money, we both work and have good jobs. She's a confident person, just that Ive noticed over the last couple of weeks that she would have half a bottle of wine or 2-3 shorts before going out then mixing her drinks.
I have asked her before about it and she says "sure Im just chilling out". But 2-3 hours into the night out she's tired and wants to go home.