Still haven't had a girlfriend yet

Timmywalldo

im 23 years of age .... and ive never had a girlfriend yet .....

ive seen Councillors over this issue {{ slight depression }}

ive tried everything i possibly can ,,, ive baught the best most expensive cloths ...

Gone to a gym to get in terrific shape .... Hugh biceps and a 6 pack .. well 4 pack really lol

And yet still nothing .... when ever i get somewhat near a girl who seems interested in me ... i always get "" your really nice "" lets be friends

The other night in the take away a guy banged into my And was langers

however he called me an ugly bastrrrd ,,.. could this be why ive always being alone

Jenneke87

Timmywalldo wrote: »

im 23 years of age .... and ive never had a girlfriend yet .....

ive seen Councillors over this issue {{ slight depression }}

ive tried everything i possibly can ,,, ive baught the best most expensive cloths ...

however he called me an ugly bastrrrd ,,.. could this be why ive always being alone

Hey there,

While it's good to make the best of yourself, buying expensive clothes and do massive workouts is not going to get you a girl. If it were that easy everyone would be doing it. Overdoing it will result in the opposite, because you'll come across as desperate, which is a very unattractive feature.

Have you anything other than clubs to get in touch with girls your age? If not, that might be an idea. Although easier said than done, just relax and be yourself. You're certainly not the only one your age who has never had a relationship before, so don't worry. And i wouldn't pay any attention to comments that a drunk person made, he was drunk, that should say enough...

Please have a bit of faith in your own abilities. If the rest of male ireland can get a girlfriend so can you. If a girl is interested in you, be bold and ask her out before she can go down the"let's be friends"road. If you notice that she likes you, ask her to meet for a coffee or to go out for the evening/night. Again just be yourself and the rest will follow.

SheRa

Ok firstly i'd guess that the reason that guy was insulting to you was that he was jealous of you, perhaps the clothes or your physique or maybe picked up on your insecurity. Secondly most girls couldn't actually give a toss about clothes or a really toned body. For women its a indefinable spark and the guys personality. Please stop beating yourself up over not being with a girl. When i was a bit younger than you I remember thinking that no guy would ever be interested in me cos i wasn't this or that, but you get older and realise that there is one person, in fact multiple people that you will click with who will click with you.

LegacyUser

OP, I'm just guessing,

"lets be freinds" sounds like you might have nice guy syndrome. You might be failing in "attracting" girls. Goodle nice guy symdrome.

spurious

The more you 'try', the more desperate you can come across as. This is not attractive. Decide you are not looking and then things happen.

Confidence is the most attractive quality someone can have.

LegacyUser

Right man some people may say that your change of lifestyle doesn't mean your certain to get a girlfriend but to be honest i think it shows your determined. You did the work, you look good start feeling good. Don't have a bad mindset. Your the prize the girls would be lucky to get you, think like that seriously. Confidence is great, however arrogance isn't theres a very fine line there. Also dont take crap from people even girls your trying to get with they give you crap give them crap back maybe in a teasing manner. People that give you crap are testing you to see can they get away with it remember that. As for that drunk eejit hes a frustrated chump.

Monkey61

Fair play for going to the gym and taking care with your clothes. That is a good start. Although beware that "the most expensive clothes" doesn't necessarily mean that you look good. Have you a female friend or anyone that you can ask about your dress sense? Having a style that suits you is much better than just throwing on expensive designer labels. This jumped out at me because I live with a lad who always buys really expensive designer clothes, but the items he picks don't go together and really don't suit him. You would spot him a mile away on the street as someone who is trying to hard but hasn't a clue about clothes.

Also...onto the next thing. Working on your image is great, but have you been working on your mind as well? Have you got loads of stuff to say to a girl that you do meet? The look will only get you so far. Make sure you have hobbies and interests that you are passionate about. Read, watch movies, documentaries, listen to loads of music etc, as these are the interesting things that are really going to make people interested in you.

As others have said, expensive clothes and huge biceps are almost meaningless for most girls. In fact to me, there's nothing more of a turn off than a guy with a great body and fancy clothes with the personality of soggy cardboard (not saying this is you but have met so many guys like this). I even find a bit insulting that some men think women will swoon over them if they have expensive clothes, as if that's all we're interested in. The most important things to me are a great sense of humour and intelligence. I like guys who are well educated and well read, keep up to date on current affairs, who are quick thinking, funny, kind, ambitious...good looks do help, but they're far from the top of the list.

profitius

Timmywalldo wrote: »

im 23 years of age .... and ive never had a girlfriend yet .....

ive seen Councillors over this issue {{ slight depression }}

ive tried everything i possibly can ,,, ive baught the best most expensive cloths ...

Gone to a gym to get in terrific shape .... Hugh biceps and a 6 pack .. well 4 pack really lol

And yet still nothing .... when ever i get somewhat near a girl who seems interested in me ... i always get "" your really nice "" lets be friends

The other night in the take away a guy banged into my And was langers

however he called me an ugly bastrrrd ,,.. could this be why ive always being alone

Read up about the law of attraction and you'll see where you're going wrong. Basically you believe you can't get a girlfriend and thats manifesting in your life.

So stop with the negative thoughts. Going to counsellors is proven to rearly work. Its good to know where you're going wrong in life but talking about your problems constantly is basically focusing your energy on the negatives. So from now on think positive and you'll start to become more positive.

Getting women is easy. It's all about giving them good feelings. Negative people don't give out good feelings. There are some tactical ways of doing that for short term success but for the long term results you need to change yourself.

Motley Crue

Taking care of yourself is important but girls don't always want the most attractive, well dressed and fit guy...some do, some don't...just like men, girls have different tastes (admittedly harder tastes to satisfy) and its all about good communication.

Funny enough, there are so many people I know, who randomly met their girlfriend when they were sitting next to each other on a packed train or bumped into each other in the queue outside a concert. To be honest, it's luck, and you will obtain it.

I think that you should simply work on the confidence factor of approaching a girl, in any situation, and striking up a social conversation. Talk about anything, but keep talking, and maybe she'll like funny, maybe she'll like stories or maybe she'll have a boyfriend...but if you don't interact and have confidence while doing so you will never find out.

Good luck, I know you'll succeed

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm a 19 y/o girl who's only had one boyfriend, and I can completely relate to how you are feeling

All my friends are in relationships and since my boyfriend and i broke up 2 years ago no one seems to have turned their heads to me

Yet I know from that relationship that it happens when you least expect it, and where you least expect it (you never know-boards is even a common meeing place these days )

It will happen someday. I often tell myself this because I feel that loneliness and unhappiness. Patience is the key

LegacyUser

I'm a 21 year old, who shock horror has never had a boyfriend.The longest time I was seeing a guy was for about a year if even. I like being single the freedom or doing whatever I like. I mean your 20's are for living, not settling down.

there is though always one person that has an urge no matter what to always be in a relationship. I think that maybe its the security blanket that they need to feel safe or else they just like the regular sex on tap.

we do like guys that take care of themselves. so its good to have pride in your appearance just as long as you aren't outdoing the girl that's beside you.

p.s a girl will not make you happy if you are not already happy with yourself.

PTH2009

I have came to relize that its not the end of the world if you dont have a girlfriend. Im 20 and never had a girlfriend, like i kissed girls but never had a girlfriend. It is an annoying and upsetting feeling. All the lads that i know are sex mad addicts. They dont want relationships 'they just want there holes'and a lot of them would be courting lots of girls and rubbing it in my face and all that. Go out join clubs, socites, dating sites and all that. Im sure if you have confidence u will find a girl. From my experice its easier for girls to get guys then it is for Guys to get girls.

LegacyUser

Hi, OP, I 'm in the same position...well I'm only 20 and I'm a girl but anyway. All my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends I've never been in anything that can be, even vaguely, classed as a relationship and I'm one of thoses girls whose never enjoyed the "free and single" thing.
I don't have any real advice for you because if I did the chances are I wouldn't be single, but I do know that dwelling on it only makes it worse. I know that from experience. Also, there is only so much you can change yourself and no matter how much you do it's still no gaurentee that someone will like you for it.
Also, by the way, I don't know, maybe that drunk was right, I wouldn't know I've never seen you but I highly doubt it and even if he was, so what? How many times have you looked at a couple on the street and thought "She could be doing so much better." Ya, sure looks are what initially attracts us but any half decent girl will get over that if she likes you.
Also if your friends are all in relationships then surely their girlfriends have single friends they could hook you up with. I might be embarrassing to ask your friends a favour like that but who knows what it might (or might not) lead to.

LegacyUser

singlegirl wrote: »

I'm a 21 year old, who shock horror has never had a boyfriend.The longest time I was seeing a guy was for about a year if even. I like being single the freedom or doing whatever I like. I mean your 20's are for living, not settling down.

... so you've never had a boyfriend, but you were seeing someone for almost a year? I don't follow you.

I'm in the same boat OP, almost 23 and I've never had anything remotely resembling a relationship with someone, I've never even kissed someone. I'm still in college, have loads of girls as friends, am involved in clubs/societies etc, go out the odd time, but absolutely nothing has ever happened. I'm starting to get worried that, unless I take action now, all of a sudden I'll be 30 and nothing will have changed. I don't know what to do.

LegacyUser

well! the same here, im a 20yo dude, in college, work part time, have a car etc. and havent had anything close to a relationship.

I like being single because i have freedom but theres always that little part of me that wants the experience of being with a girl.

Its just one of those things i guess. someday though I shall succeed!! Im actually quite handsome!! lol

dont let it get you down though OP, i woundnt take the opinion of a drunk gob****e to heart.

jimmypitt

I can guarantee everyone here it is nothing to do with looks! Absolutely nothing. I have two mates (both considered very attractive by the opposite sex) and neither of them had a GF until they were 27.

Some people are just not the best with the opposite sex. Again, i repeat, it is absolutely nothing to do with looks.

LegacyUser

Wow, I feel so sorry for you guys. I'm 15 and people are absolutely shocked when I say I've never kissed someone before because I'm too afraid or whatever to.

One of the posters said that their friends rub it in their faces when they say they're with someone and stuff, but if they're going to rub it in your face all the time, how are they really your friends.

No advice, sorry mate, but it'll happen. Dont worry. And you should get talking to your friends about their OH friends. I would. x

LegacyUser

single wrote: »

... so you've never had a boyfriend, but you were seeing someone for almost a year? I don't follow you.

I'm in the same boat OP, almost 23 and I've never had anything remotely resembling a relationship with someone, I've never even kissed someone. I'm still in college, have loads of girls as friends, am involved in clubs/societies etc, go out the odd time, but absolutely nothing has ever happened. I'm starting to get worried that, unless I take action now, all of a sudden I'll be 30 and nothing will have changed. I don't know what to do.

you can be seeing someone but not actually going out with them. i think op is looking for a gf don't think he has an actual prob scoring.

OP look you will find someone.