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Issue with moving in together and security

  • 28-03-2010 8:40pm
    #1
    Formosa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 495 ✭✭


    Hope I have this in the right forum. GF & I are thinking about moving in together. I own my own house, she is renting at the moment. She is concerned that, if moving in with me and it not working out, she will have to leave and be basically turfed out and starting afresh (she is not local)…this happened her in a previous relationship and similar happened me where I split up with a girl and she moved out out of what was becoming her home.
    Anyway, I fully respect these concerns and say fair play to her for it, (she isn't coming into it with a negative attitude, just being careful and realisitc IMO) but am wondering what is the best arrangement?

    A. I put her onto the deeds and the mortgage and we share everything, giving her security (although I am warning her that my house may be in NE meaning she is signing up for a debt).
    B. I sell the house and we buy / rent elsewhere. I may end up taking a debt with me in this event…we will both be getting a fresh start with no baggage.

    I have no issues with any of the above, just don’t want either of us saddling extra debt, exposure, whatever. Are there other alternatives and what might be common practice?

    Hope I am making the above clear enough? Any advice or experiences greatly appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Do not sell your house or put her on the deeds. Its her problem if she feels its going to fail. Tell her to keep a deposit aside if you two do go belly up and she can go rent a room somewhere else.


  • #3
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Will she be paying you rent/splitting the mortgage?

    Maybe you could agree to put a portion of that aside for a contingency budget.


  • #4
    SheRa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭SheRa


    Definitely do not put her on the deeds. The contingency budget is an excellent idea, around €1800 for 1 month's deposit and 1 month's rent in case things go pear shaped. I hope they don't :) but fair play to you both for being realistic.


  • #5
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,333 ✭✭✭santana75


    Do you absolutley have to move in together? Theres so much pressure for people to fall in line and do what everybody else does and move in together, even if one or both arent ready to take that step. It sounds like your girlfriend just isnt ready, she has genuine concerns. I mean if it aint broke dont fix it, when shes ready to move in she'll let you know. Until then relax and enjoy your freedom!


  • #6
    StillWaters
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭StillWaters


    When you say she is not local, do you mean she is moving away from her friends / family / job to move in with you?

    If so I can understand where she is coming from. Can you rent your house out and rent somewhere together?


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