I'm completely in love and can't do anything about it

LegacyUser

I really don't know what to do. I am completely in love with someone, they know I have feelings for them, but never acknowledged it when I told them. Just to point out I was not in a relationship with this person, only close friends to him. He is no longer talking to me, because of another reason nothing to do with me or him, and the reason is not important.

I am just so miserable, and down since he won't talk to me anymore, and it is tearing me apart. I have had two anxiety attacks in the past week because it hurts so much, so much so the doctor had to give me medication to calm me down, and to "prevent" these attacks. But not being able to contact him is killing me. My heart is completely broken, and I'm really so miserable without him in my life. At one point in my life before I was completely broken hearted over someone, and it was killing me as much as this is, and was killling me so much over time that I attempted suicide as it was hurting me so much, no longer being a part of that persons life, and not hearing from them.

I am just as hurt with this, and I really don't want to get back into that hole I was in before, and being so hurt, and so down that I would think about possible suicide again, because the hurt, upset and me being miserable and depressed I know is what is ahead for me for months to come.

Keeping busy is not the answer, and at present because I am so miserable these days, I don't want to be bothering my friends as I am not fun or nothing, and all I can think of is the person missing in my life. I have gone out for walks to try and clear my head, and I end up coming home miserable again, as the person is stuck in my head. I cannot look at anyone new, and don't even want to. I just don't know what to do. The only thing that could fix this would be if the person would talk to me again, but I don't think that will happen. Sorry this is a long post, I had to get this all out of my system, and hope maybe someone could offer me some kind of advice for mending a broken heart, without months of misery ahead of me

kjl

Well don't kill yourself over this, that would just be stupid.

Take it one day at a time, and move on.

Think about how you feel about the other person and how you feel now, see time does heal all wounds.

You will meet someone, so don't give up hope.

LegacyUser

He is no longer talking to me, because of another reason nothing to do with me or him, and the reason is not important.

Hi OP
I really sympathise with you here but it seems this "reason" is important to the falling out you are going through. You said he isnt talking to you so why not? I understand if you dont want to say why but it is affecting the relationship you and he have.
Hang in there,

peekyboo

hurt&inlove wrote: »

Keeping busy is not the answer, and at present because I am so miserable these days, I don't want to be bothering my friends as I am not fun or nothing, and all I can think of is the person missing in my life.

Yes it is. That's exactly the answer. Just sitting there staring into space thinking and thinking is compounding your misery. In fairness I know people who have had to divorce their husband who they have kids with and their heart is utterly broken and even they know keeping busy is the answer.

The person who you attempted suicide for before - were you in a relationship with them or was it the same type of situation, i.e. unrequited love?

Good luck OP

ash23

I think you should seek counselling. Prevention is better than cure and there's no point waiting until you get so down that you are contemplating suicide.

You have other issues other than your love for this man.

And being honest, there is a problem there. You have become fixated on him. To the point of being depressed because he no longer speaks to you.

It's unhealthy to become so obsessed with someone where there is no actual relationship. I think counselling to probe why you fall so hard for people and get so down over rejection. Because if you don't sort it out it will become a pattern.

Speaking to him won't fix anything. It will be a temporary reprieve from the real problem which is something far more deep rooted imo.

Seriously, I think counselling and trying to get to the crux of the issue would be a good idea.

LegacyUser

Hi OP. Sorry to hear that you're feeling so badly. I have to say though I completely agree with ash23. I used to behave just like you when relationships ended but somebody told me something once which really reasonated with me. That was, that you cannot be dependent on a person. Behaving as you are (and I have done) shows that we were dependent on those people. Thats not healthy. A relationship ending shouldn't be the end of the world. You need to take on other things in your life. I know its hard but you'll be surprised how easy it becomes once you put some effort in. If I could do it then so can you. Good luck :-)

Miss Fluff

hurt&inlove wrote: »

At one point in my life before I was completely broken hearted over someone, and it was killing me as much as this is, and was killling me so much over time that I attempted suicide as it was hurting me so much, no longer being a part of that persons life, and not hearing from them.

Is it for the same reason as before that this guy you have fallen out with is no longer talking to you?

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for all your comments. Just back from a long walk, and am feeling just as miserable. I'm already on a high dosage of anti depressants, and because of the 2 anxiety attacks I had within the week, and on valium as well. In spite of the medication, I may as well not be on it, as its doing me no help whatsoever. The worst thing about all of this is all my hurt and upset is "Stuck" in me, and I can't seem to be able to cry to let it all out, and the upset just keeps building and building. I really don't want to bother my friends as who wants to listen to negitivity, and a miserable person, so I am kind of on my own with this whole thing. I am working but am in a situation where I currently can't afford councelling. I feel so alone, upset and miserable, and I only ever felt this bad a few years ago. I felt like that for a year, and then attempted suicide because I couldn't take the hurt and upset anymore. You all probably think I am mad, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but at the moment, I fell I am getting back into that dark hole I was in a few years ago. Is there anything I could do to get myself to cry to let it all out?

Victor

Unregistered wrote: »

I really don't want to bother my friends as who wants to listen to negitivity, and a miserable person, so I am kind of on my own with this whole thing.

You would be surprised. While they may not be able to do everything, they can sit there and talk / listen.

I am working but am in a situation where I currently can't afford councelling.

Then talk to AWARE or the Samaritans (you don't have to be suicidal to talk to them) who can provide low cost or free counselling.

You all probably think I am mad

First I though there was something wrong with the world. then I though there was something wrong with me. Then I realised that there are some things wrong with the world and some things wrong with me. None of them make me "mad".

Is there anything I could do to get myself to cry to let it all out?

Talk.

LegacyUser

Hello OP.

I guess I've been through something similar. Deep dark depression since November 09 and only recently came out of it.

I seen a counsellor in college for free, he was ok I guess. Feels great to talk to someone. If theres anyone you can talk to go and do it. It won't cure everything but it helps, trust me. The worst you can do is bottle it up. See if you can get the HSE to get you counselling for free?


I know how you feel, trust me.