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Need Moral Support or Magic? Finally Get Over My Ex or Give Him One Last Chance?

  • 27-03-2010 11:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay, as the title says, maybe I just need some moral support!

    Myself and my ex split up last autumn. Basically he just wasn't treating me great, and I called him on it. I was surprised at how upset I was when it was over, maybe I wasn't quite ready for it or maybe I didn't realise how attached I had become. In the meantime I've been trying to deal with this and also some self esteem issues that have come up. Basically trying to move on! On the surface I was doing well, but on the inside I was thinking about him an awful lot...

    I thought I was finally doing a lot better, and now... He's been in touch with me a lot, and I feel confused about how I feel, and how I think I should feel and act. I've seen very little of him since we split up as it coincided with me moving to a new town, but we have a lot of mutual friends (and I can't ditch them all unfortunately! Some of them are very good and genuine friends.) Anyway, about a month ago his housemate told me that she thinks he still has feelings for me... And I saw him last week, and it was pretty obvious he has feelings for me. He was kind of hitting on me, but I resisted.

    He's been in contact with me a lot over Facebook (sorry to bring Facebook into it!!!) and every time he logs on seems to comment on my page or status or something. And it's obviously a lot more than anyone else (a few other people have mentioned it me).

    So I dunno, I feel like he's thinking about me and I'm thinking about him, and the possibility of something happening again. I also had the impression that he treated me the worst of all his girlfriends cos I was the "nicest" and I felt really upset about that, but recently found out that actually he treated me the best. I know that shouldn't matter, and sounds like a petty detail, but it was something that really got me down before. :(

    I'm not saying it's an excuse, but he does have some issues around dealing with (inevitable) problems that come up in a relationship. We split up once before because he just didn't know how to handle it when we came into a (pretty minor) argument. Then he was miserable for six weeks until he got me back. He has told me in the past that talking about problems is a major issue for him, and he can't help going into this destructive self-defensive mode.

    I feel like something is gonna happen in the near future, that he's gonna try and be with me again or something. Should I just run a mile? I've worked so hard to try and get over him, and I don't want to end up back in square one. Or should I give him a chance and see what happens if he wants to give it another go? I can't get him out of my mind since i saw him last week!


Comments

  • #2
    SheRa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭SheRa


    He seems to be half interested in getting back with you. I say half because he appears to be dropping hints about it but doesn't seem to feel strong enough or be bothered to man up and actually say it to you. It sounds like the relationship was a bit like that too. Im sorry if that sounds harsh, i don't mean to be but you deserve to be with someone who is absolutely mad about you and feels the way for you that you do for them. I could be wrong but i don't think that your ex is this guy.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks SheRa, you're totally right, and it's not being harsh. x


  • #4
    Barracudaincork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Barracudaincork


    Head Melted! wrote: »
    Basically he just wasn't treating me great, and I called him on it.

    Head Melted! wrote: »
    I also had the impression that he treated me the worst of all his girlfriends cos I was the "nicest" and I felt really upset about that, but recently found out that actually he treated me the best.

    He treated you the best he has ever treated someone and he still wasnt treating you that great, what does that say about the man?

    Stay well clear of him, you broke up before and he missed you for those 6 weeks so you got back together and now have broken up again, what will be his pathetic excuses this time? Dont think you can "fix" this guy and his issues, you cant, only he can do this himself.

    Aside from all that, you deserve to be with someone who doesnt need break up's to realise what you mean to them.


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