Random conversations you've overheard.

jake la motta

I was awaiting a Train from Dublin to Waterford recently and sat in Huston when I overheard a couple (early fifties) having the following conversation.

Woman: I'm hungry.
Man: I told you to get something in Centra.
Woman: I wasn't hungry then.
Man: They have a vending machine here.
Woman: My legs are tired will you go get me something.
Man: For ****s sake. What do you want?
Woman: What do they have?
Man: It has sandwiches, bars, muffins, fruit and orange juice.
Woman: Get me a sandwich.
(Man gets up)
Woman: A chicken sandwich please.
Man: Grand.
(Walks to vending machine and back)
Man: They only have tuna and sweet corn and ham and cheese.
Woman: Eurgh, no thanks, I don’t want either.
Man: Will I get you a chocolate bar then?
Woman: No there too heavy for me, they always repeat on me.
Man: Christ, some fruit then?
Woman: I want something tasty, not fruit.
Man: Jesus Christ make up yer mind will ya, I told you to get something in Centra.
Woman: But I wasn’t hungry in Centra.
Man: I'll get you a muffin.
Woman: Ok.
Man: Blueberry or Banana.
Woman: What? There horrible, don’t they have any plain flavored ones.
Man: No, most people want a flavor.
Woman: Oh find me something else in it will ya?
Man: For ****s sake.
(Walks to vending machine and back)
Man: Ok there is a tin of spaghetti hoops in it, want that?
Woman: Ewww no!
Man: Right **** it, you can get yer own food from it, I tired of waiting on you to make up your mind on things all bloody day, a fun day out in Dublin me arse, a fun day of you shopping and me bored of me tits plus I missed the rugby, never again.
Woman: Ok then, get me a muffin.
Man: (Pauses)...........................Ok
(Gets up and walks to vending machine).

AnonoBoy

Man: "So the probability of a random event denotes the relative frequency of occurrence of an experiment's outcome, when repeating the experiment."

Woman: "Oh now I get it, thanks."

Man: "No problem."

Fago!

Peter and Brian Griffin:

Peter: When the hell did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?

Brian: Well they had a meeting about it last night.

Peter: Why wasn't I told?

Brian: Well we sent out a letter, but you probably thought it was from you instead of for you..... Y'know it's just easier to call you stupid!

MrPain

I was on the Red Line the other day, when a group of ruff looking sorts got on. One then proceeded to tell the others about his mother coming out of Mount Joy in a few weeks. The they all started telling each other about their relatives and their own time in jail.
It sounded like most of them had spent more of their life in than out.
They also seemed boastful about it, speaking of who they met and got on well withand who they "decked".
I just continued to read the metro.

orourkeda

Single life is wonderful.

Professey Chin

Oxegen 2008 at about 4/5am outside my tent

Other Voice: Kevvers,kevvers.Been friends with ya for years kevvers but I got somethin to tell ya.
Kevvers: Wha?
Other Voice:I know your parents been havin problems kevvers n I called up to ya a few weeks ago but you wernt there.I was waiting for you with your mudder and she was really upset.
Kevvers: Wha ya talkin about?
Other Voice: Well we were talkin and one thing led to another.I rode your mudder Kevvers im sorry.
Kevvers: Ya di wha??!
Other Voice:Im sorry Kevvers.She was lonely and needed some company.I didnt mean it to happen!
Kevvers: Get away from me will ya!
Other Voice:Kevvers please.Talk to me!

Then they walked away arguing mumbly while our circle of tents proceeded to piss ourselves laughing.

witnessmenow

Does anyone else really want something from centra? sublinimal advertising at its best!

Noopti

He literally did a "Yore Ma"! Awesome!

I cant remember the full conversation, just one line.
It was at a bus stop in Limerick. This very rough looking couple were having a massive argument in front of a packed bus stop in the city centre. Anyway its going on and on and getting louder and louder
He storms off, unable to listen to her anymore, and she shouts after him..

..(now just imagine this in a thick limerick knacker accent)..

"You shudve been a **** ... you shudve been a f**king ****"

Brillant.

new fang

Man in tracksuit on the Northern Commuter, gets on at Malahide, picks up a phonecall, loudly, almost a monologue:

"Is this Elaine? Elaine? I said, ELAIIIINE? I didn't smash your window. I didn't smash any window, listen, I'm not gonna pay two hundred odd euro for something I didn't even do. You can GET the guards, I don't even care. I don't care. C'mere, I was down in the Michael Collins all night, ask anyone. I had blood on me face and everything. (pause) I didn't send any texts off me phone. (pause) It wasn't me, ask me ma. I was down havin' the pints. I cleaned the blood off my face. (pause) Listen, I'm not paying a cent. (hangs up)"

starbelgrade

I was on a bus from Dublin to Cavan one evening - it was winter, so it was dark. There were a few skangers on the bus & when we'd left the suburbs of Dublin behind us, one of the scobies piped up with...

"Jaaaysus - where've all the bleeedin' lights gone?"

(Obviously their first time out of the city).

jake la motta

My mother told me about this conversation she had with me when I was about 8. I was outside playing when I ran into the kitchen for moment and we had the following converation, so I kind hear this 2nd hand.

Me: Mam, what does dad do for a living?
Ma: He's carpenter, why?
Me: He's not a piss licker then?
Ma: What, jeezus, where did you hear that? who told you that?
Me: Niamh Cummins said my father is lazy ****er and a professional piss licker.
Ma: Well you tell Niamh that I'll be having a word with her mother about the type of language she's using.
Me: Okay. I thought she was lying anyway.
Ma: I hope you stuck up for your father?
Me: I said he's not a piss licker but he does kinda sit around a lot.
Ma: Ah Jake, thats your father, you shouldnt be telling other people what he does in our home. You dont **** on your own doorstep.
Me: But I didnt **** anywhere.

stovelid

jake la motta wrote: »

I was awaiting a Train from Dublin to Waterford recently and sat in Huston when I overheard a couple (early fifties) having the following conversation.

Woman: I'm hungry.
Man: I told you to get something in Centra.
Woman: I wasn't hungry then.
Man: They have a vending machine here.
Woman: My legs are tired will you go get me something.
Man: For ****s sake. What do you want?
Woman: What do they have?
Man: It has sandwiches, bars, muffins, fruit and orange juice.
Woman: Get me a sandwich.
(Man gets up)
Woman: A chicken sandwich please.
Man: Grand.
(Walks to vending machine and back)
Man: They only have tuna and sweet corn and ham and cheese.
Woman: Eurgh, no thanks, I don’t want either.
Man: Will I get you a chocolate bar then?
Woman: No there too heavy for me, they always repeat on me.
Man: Christ, some fruit then?
Woman: I want something tasty, not fruit.
Man: Jesus Christ make up yer mind will ya, I told you to get something in Centra.
Woman: But I wasn’t hungry in Centra.
Man: I'll get you a muffin.
Woman: Ok.
Man: Blueberry or Banana.
Woman: What? There horrible, don’t they have any plain flavored ones.
Man: No, most people want a flavor.
Woman: Oh find me something else in it will ya?
Man: For ****s sake.
(Walks to vending machine and back)
Man: Ok there is a tin of spaghetti hoops in it, want that?
Woman: Ewww no!
Man: Right **** it, you can get yer own food from it, I tired of waiting on you to make up your mind on things all bloody day, a fun day out in Dublin me arse, a fun day of you shopping and me bored of me tits plus I missed the rugby, never again.
Woman: Ok then, get me a muffin.
Man: (Pauses)...........................Ok
(Gets up and walks to vending machine).

jake la motta wrote: »

My mother told me about this conversation she had with me when I was about 8. I was outside playing when I ran into the kitchen for moment and we had the following converation, so I kind hear this 2nd hand.

Me: Mam, what does dad do for a living?
Ma: He's carpenter, why?
Me: He's not a piss licker then?
Ma: What, jeezus, where did you hear that? who told you that?
Me: Niamh Cummins said my father is lazy ****er and a professional piss licker.
Ma: Well you tell Niamh that I'll be having a word with her mother about the type of language she's using.
Me: Okay. I thought she was lying anyway.
Ma: I hope you stuck up for your father?
Me: I said he's not a piss licker but he does kinda sit around a lot.
Ma: Ah Jake, thats your father, you shouldnt be telling other people what he does in our home. You dont **** on your own doorstep.
Me: But I didnt **** anywhere.

Good shorthand is obviously a prerequisite for being in your family?

Closed ac

On a bus, only realised after the two girls were talking about a bee-sting but still kept me amused for the whole journey.

Girl 1: Was it even that big?
Girl 2: Yeah, hurt like hell too. The thing went right into me.

whiskeyman

Aren't these whimsical overheard conversations are hilarious!!
Hey, wouldn't it be great to have them all posted on one site, perhaps per city they were 'overheard' in, and we could rate each individually?
Then we could print books with the best excerpts and table calenders your Auntie could get you for Christmas....

Tonyandthewhale

Outside the Arts block in UCD one night a few weeks ago:

First man: "Wait, why were you in Ethiopia?"
Second man: (with incredible nonchalance) "Teaching contemporary dance."

Sofaspud

Was in work a few weeks ago, walked past a pretty hot girl talking to her group of friends

"Well sure everyone's tasted their own earwax . . . ."

Really wish I heard the rest of that conversation.

MitchKoobski

Overheard in the library a few days ago
Girl: "Are Thin Lizzy an irish band?"
Boy: "**** off and die."

MrsToad

Small girl in Dublin Zoo, making finger-tip to thumb-tip pincer movements, looking through glass at gorilla trying to pick up something small: "Ha, opposable thumbs!"

20-something girl (quietly) to boyfriend: "What are opposable thumbs...?"

Boyfriend (loudly): "It's imposable."

redarse

I was on a lift in the Jervis Shopping Centre with two howaya girls (tracksuits tucked into their socks) when one of them asked
'so did ya ride him last night?' to which she replied
'I couldn't I was on me bits'

Classy!!

jake la motta

Good shorthand is obviously a prerequisite for being in your family?

Dont get you. I wouldnt exactly call what I wrote shorthand.

ClutchIt

jake la motta wrote: »

Dont get you. I wouldnt exactly call what I wrote shorthand.

I think he meant that you remembered every word of the conversations really well as if it was taken down in shorthand at the time. It confused me for a bit too. Might not have meant that at all either...

new fang

Walking through Trinity, I think this guy may have been a tourist, and I only heard this snippet:

"So if you take the guy from Rain Man, and you take Forrest Gump, and you put them together..."

andy1981

"So if you take the guy from Rain Man, and you take Forrest Gump, and you put them together..."[/QUOTE]

You get..

Run Raymond, Run??

quicklickpaddy

I was walking by at the bottom of Grafton St and literally all I heard was:

Woman 1: Congratulations on the baby!

Woman 2: Um... I had a miscarriage...

amacachi

Walking back to a hostel at about 5am in London a couple of years ago. Two fellas talking and I just caught one snippet, "So I ****ed his sister!".

Bolag_the_2nd

in a cafe, i wasnt there for the start of it but when we sat down this is how it went.

first person. so he's still in the guest room?

second, ya, and im not budging, he can f**k off in there too,

first, but its been over a week? you can see the stress in his
face, ur cruel,

second, he can **** himself retarded in there for all i care.

at this point myself my two friends spluttered our tea over the table, the two having the chat went very quiet, we just creassed up, very funny.

Michaelrsh

In the gents in McDonald's beside O'Connell Bridge.

Drunk guy:

"... jaysus, would'ya stop the shanking in there and get out I'm gonna ... aww fúck"

Man in cubicle:

"Sorry, I'll be out in a sec ..."

Drunk guy:

"... don't forget to use tissues on both ends ..."

Michaelrsh

Tonyandthewhale wrote: »

Outside the Arts block in UCD one night a few weeks ago:

First man: "Wait, why were you in Ethiopia?"
Second man: (with incredible nonchalance) "Teaching contemporary dance."

In Science block in UCD:

Guy 1: "I don't think there are many girls in engineering."
Girl: "I am."
Guy 2: Oh I see you must be one of them mingeneers."

storm2811

2 fellas on the train sitting behind me:

Man 1: oh so how'd ya get on at the xmas party?
Man 2:ahh im tellin ya was outta me mind drunk hey!
Man 1:ha nice one
Man 2:Yeah and i pulled aswell!
Man 1:yeah?who?
Man 2:Jen,i rode her!on the desk!right on the ****in desk!!
Man 1:niiice..

and another one in the asda bathrooms..

Phone rings
Woman: hiii dave! emm not much.no not really..yeah right..ok..listen dave i have to go,im kind of taking a sh*t!love you too!

strangest thing i've ever heard..:pac: