Advice please

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm having a bit of moral dilemma. My OH and I have had a rocky couple of years. Long story short, I have a girlfriend who I thought I was close to. She lives nearby and I might see her maybe once a month maybe and talk the odd time on the phone. If I was up with her i'd tell her if me and the OH had problems or broke up. Anyways her OH works with my OH's friend. My OH rings me up yesterdays and says "Oh I heard you've been talking about us, yeah you're up with "my friend" the whole time bitching about me and saying we're on and off again the whole time." Turns out my friend told her OH and he in turn told my OH's friend. I feel quiet down about this as I consider myself quiet and honest and loyal person and i'm been painted as some kind of bitch. What are your views do other girls confide in their girlfriends about these things or am I too faced?

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

You are not two-faced. Bottom line is you and your OH were having problems. Are you expected to not say anything - ever!?! Your partner needs to get a grip. You weren't saying anything that was untrue.

It's not like you were spreading malicious lies about him.

I know that's what its been made out to be though. I feel like my friend is going back to her bf saying oh well she said this and she said that.Then i'm wondering if my OH's friend is stirring ****, as I know he is quiet bitter and has a horrible attitude towards women. I'm disappointed in my bf for not even questioning the issue no he straight out believed his friend. I feel like keeping a wide birth from the whole lot of them I don't want to get into the whole well he said you said this and why did you say this as I think the whole thing is really petty to be honest. Though I would like to know if my OH's friend is the crux of the problem.

LegacyUser

Sorry that should be two faced not too faced.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Well, people often confide in their partners. It's human nature.

Your bf is pissed off, that will pass. He is probably thinking 'God, what else has she said'.

If I were you I'd tell your bf that you were upset/venting and thought you were speaking to your friend in confidence. God knows your bf is no saint. It isnt like he's never said anything in confidence to someone :rolleyes:

Your bf needs to get over it. Women talk. Am surprised he didn't expect it

Thanks Sunflower.

It seemed to be the men doing more talking in this incident. I don't know whether to mention it to my friend or not, i've a sneaky suspicion my OHs friend is putting his own slant on this to cause trouble. Up there the whole time bitching, I might see her once a month, i'm with my oh nearly every night.

reprazant

Your friends OH shouldn't have said anything to your OH.

You told her and she told her boyfriend. She probably shouldn't have but then most couples do talk. The difference is that most couples know that the information is not meant to leave their circle of two.

His fault, not yours IMO.

LegacyUser

Thanks reprazant,

He didn't even say it to my OH he said it to my OH's friend, and the friend said to my OH that I was up there bitching about him the whole time and saying we were on again off again. This friend has a serious problem with women.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Some men view women talking as bitching :rolleyes:

Sit your partner down and explain what was said. You can't do any more than that. And say that obviously it came up that you were on/off. You are entitled to tell your friend that, just as he is if he so chose.

Sounds like it's all been blown out of proportion, big styleeee!

You're dead right I don't even feel I owe him an explanation he should have come to me not just taken his friends word as gospel. He hasn't answered his phone to me all today and most of yesterday, probably because I told him to grow a back bone and make up his own mind about things instead of listening to his poisonus friends.