OH attempted suicide

LegacyUser

My OH has been living with depression for the past 3 years or so, and has had bad times and good times, but today was the closest he has ever gotten to committing suicide.

I had not had the chance to talk to him since this morning, and then he webtexted me to let me know his phone had died, so I thought I would ring him later. I was coming home from the gym when my mam rang me to tell me that she had seen my OH buying a length of rope in a shop. She had talked to him and he said it was to tow his sisters car. She rang me immediately as she thought this was odd, and as I knew his history I jumped in the car and drove down the road to stop him doing something stupid. I met him on the road outside his house and demanded the rope. I was really upset. I got it out of his bag when he refused to give it to me so I suggested we talk in his house. I rang his sister and she came over. I was so terrified. He had started new Meds last week, and I reckon that is what tipped him over the edge, coupled with the fact that his counsellor doesnt seem to know what he is doing. Apparently he just sits there and nods.

We are both 23, and have been together for a few years. He says that we are too young to deal with this and we should break up but that he still loves me and wants to stay with me. I feel the same, I want to make a life with him, living together, possibly marriage.

What I wanted to ask was, how do people deal with their OH's depression? I had been trying to listen to him but tbh I have no idea if I am going to right way about it.

I am writing this as I have no-one to talk to about this and I just wanted to see what people thought. I am still terrified and worried about him, but I am also incredibly angry that he would do this.

Cheap Thrills!

OP, far be it from me to give medical advice but if his meds were chaged last week then that is a MAJOR cause for concern that this has followed.

If you doubt the counsellor, do not hesitate to intervene, I know you are angry but I think you and his sister need to get together and seek alternative help if possible.

Is he in the public or private system, an incident like this HAS to be taken seriously.... how involved are you with the care...his counsellor has missed a trick here, but make no mistake psychiatric drugs are unpredictable, they can violently disagree with an individual, everyone is unique...

Sorry for the terrible shock....go back to the professionals and if you doubt them.....start thinking about a different care team...

Taltos

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

OP, far be it from me to give medical advice but if his meds were chaged last week then that is a MAJOR cause for concern that this has followed.

If you doubt the counsellor, do not hesitate to intervene, I know you are angry but I think you and his sister need to get together and seek alternative help if possible.

Is he in the public or private system, an incident like this HAS to be taken seriously.... how involved are you with the care...his counsellor has missed a trick here, but make no mistake psychiatric drugs are unpredictable, they can violently disagree with an individual, everyone is unique...

Sorry for the terrible shock....go back to the professionals and if you doubt them.....start thinking about a different care team...

+1 to all of this.
Not sure if permitted - but can you join some of these sessions?
As support and a memory holder for certain things?
Definitely not all - but maybe just one or two?
it might also help him to accept that his actions have a severe impact on those he loves - not something telling him will do - but the self-realisation...

Just keep reinforcing how you feel about him. But do make sure you take time to care for yourself too and if you need to talk to someone - please do.

Nevyn

What support do you have?
Have you been to any of the aware.ie meeting for family and firends who are living with someone who is living with depression?

krankykitty

The counsellor may not even know his meds has changed, unless he specifically told him/her. If he is just sitting there nodding, odds are he didn't mention it.

I would recommend you or your OH getting back in touch with whoever has prescribed the medication to let them know what is happening. They may be able to do something medication wise but at the very least will guide as to the best steps to take to ensure your OH's safety. Maybe he needs to be referred to another counsellor or to other services and the prescriber of the meds will hopefully be able to facilitate this if deemed necessary.

As Thaedydal suggested Aware might be able to help you OP ..

Miss Fluff

You poor girl, what an awful situation for you. It's a matter of emergency that you both go and see your GP today. Now in fact. Your bf actually needs to be under supervision at the moment so only a professional will be able to advise the best course of action. You might also like to give Aware a call as they should be able to point you in the right direction. http://www.aware.ie/help/information/supporting_a_loved_one/

LegacyUser

He went to his GP this morning, he advised him to go into John of Gods for a week, so he is going in this afternoon. Can anyone tell me what the story is with that? Will I be able to visit him?

I have not gone for any counselling myself, I will check out Aware. I asked him before to ask his counsellor about his parents or me sitting in on a session but apparently the counsellor said no.

I think his GP in college perscribed the meds, I dont know why they were changed, as he seemed ok for the past few weeks. It was only since last week that he has gone downhill.

Thanks for the advice everyone, it is very much appreciated. I felt at a loose end last night.

Miss Fluff

That's a really great development OP. They can really look after him in SJOG and help regulate his meds etc. Visiting is normally on a case-by-case basis afaik.

dammitjanet

Give Staint John of Gods a call about visiting and they'll help you out, I'm sure they're used to worried family memebers and OH's calling. i'm so glad he's gone for help, my thoughs are with you x

DigiGal

I feel for you OP it must be very hard to deal with a suicidal OH. I agree with Thaeds suggestion you definitely need support in this matter also. Good luck in the future. x

DigiGal

Terrified wrote: »

He went to his GP this morning, he advised him to go into John of Gods for a week, so he is going in this afternoon. Can anyone tell me what the story is with that? Will I be able to visit him?

I have not gone for any counselling myself, I will check out Aware. I asked him before to ask his counsellor about his parents or me sitting in on a session but apparently the counsellor said no.

I think his GP in college perscribed the meds, I dont know why they were changed, as he seemed ok for the past few weeks. It was only since last week that he has gone downhill.

Thanks for the advice everyone, it is very much appreciated. I felt at a loose end last night.

I have a friend who was in JOG's for a few months, I'll talk to her and let you know about visiting, appointments etc..

tenchi-fan

Buying a rope.. and was found out by your mother... if that isn't a cry for help I don't know what is. I'm not saying he would not have used it, but the fact is there has to be easier ways to commit suicide than to go out and buy a rope.

So, I reckon he wants someone to help him but he just doesn't know who can help him or what they can do for him.

Obviously I can't give medical advice but I read somewhere that certain anti-depressants allow people to consider suicide more easily.. rather than being torn up inside, they will calmly consider it. So your first stop should be report these symptoms to his doctor.

sporina

a friend of mine was in John of gods and it saved her life. I think the term with regards to visitors etc varies depending you the patients program. My mate was not allowed visitors for the 1st 2 weeks but her care was intensive and she was there for about 3 months.

Thank god he was spotted buying the rope. This is really hard from you. You need support also - you should definitely check out aware etc. Take care.

christina_x

OP this may have occured due to the change in anti-depressants. When sufferers are depressed, they're mood is low and their enegry levels can be genuinly low. When the anti-depressants first kick in the patients energy levels rise significantly although it may take another week or so for their mood to lift. This is the danger zone. They had the sucidial thoughts but didnt have the energy to do so, until the medication kicked in. Now they have the will do die and the energy to do something about it. Its the danger zone and your OH needs to be re-assured that his mood will lift just as his energy levels have. I am only a student psyc nurse so am not sure if this will occur if he has already been on anti-depressants but i know that patients must be watched when they first go on the medication. Very sorry to hear about you OH and i hope you both are ok.

Anti-depressants (especially those of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor class, and again especially paroxetine) are known to cause suicidal ideation in teenagers and young adults. Therefore, as others have pointed out, a sudden medication change could be responsible for this.

WesternNight

I hope everything goes well for all of you, OP. It's definitely a good sign that he seems to be open to being helped.