Unsure of Sexuality

JAMCHAN

Hello everyone.

I am in my early 20s and am not sure of my sexuality.

I would have fancied women all up along my teens but recently i am finding myself unsure of my preferences.i dont fantasize about being with men but i do find myself admitting at times that such and such is good looking.I am also useless with woman.aroused alright but i just fall to pieces.

not only this but 2 people that i suspect to be gay have been greeting me in the middle of the street.one person even tapped me on the shoulder one day.
even when i was in college some years back 2 people threw a water bottle at me when i was walking down the campus.i have had a few female admirers aswell so like i said not really sure.I dont feel that i am gay and would not be interested in the aspects of gay culture.

from what im telling you any help would be greatly appreciated.thanks

Tricity Bendix

The ability to recognise beauty in someone of the same sex does not make you gay. Neither does adhering to any part of gay culture. Nor does having other men come on to you. The only thing that makes you gay is the desire to sexually involve yourself with another man.

Dwn Wth Vwls

It's not an either/or situation. You can of course be attracted to women and also be attracted to men. The attractions don't have to be equal and may change frequently. Just be honest with yourself about your feelings and whether you'd like to be sexually involved with people.

It sounds like you need to work on your confidence, if you fall to pieces.

Annasopra

I don't get the significance of the water bottle thing

brainyneuron

JAMCHAN wrote: »

Hello everyone.

I am in my early 20s and am not sure of my sexuality.

I would have fancied women all up along my teens but recently i am finding myself unsure of my preferences.i dont fantasize about being with men but i do find myself admitting at times that such and such is good looking.I am also useless with woman.aroused alright but i just fall to pieces.

not only this but 2 people that i suspect to be gay have been greeting me in the middle of the street.one person even tapped me on the shoulder one day.
even when i was in college some years back 2 people threw a water bottle at me when i was walking down the campus.i have had a few female admirers aswell so like i said not really sure.I dont feel that i am gay and would not be interested in the aspects of gay culture.

from what im telling you any help would be greatly appreciated.thanks

Do you fancy females, males or both? Thats the question you have to answer for yourself. No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is, you have to figue that out for yourself. Hugs xx

LeeRoyX

take your time, set your thoughts right and then draw some conslusions
but don't hurry plz
good luck

LGiamani

Tricity Bendix wrote: »

The ability to recognise beauty in someone of the same sex does not make you gay. Neither does adhering to any part of gay culture. Nor does having other men come on to you. The only thing that makes you gay is the desire to sexually involve yourself with another man.

100% true there are many goodlookin men out there young and old God bless them

miss polly

Maybe you are bisexual. Just because you might look gay (water throwing incident) or think men can be attractive doesnt mean you are gay. You need to take some time to think about this and decide your future. No one can tell you if you are or not.

Boston

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I don't get the significance of the water bottle thing

I think he's attributing it to a homophobia motivated attack.

Sir Ophiuchus

Manzalone, I disagree with your position. While you're entitled to make whatever choices you want (though you're making choices that put your family at risk and would hurt them), I won't take issue with that. What I would take issue with is promoting that to the OP.

Boston

manzalone wrote: »

Here's the deal: I'm relatively straight - I like women, I'm married and have kids. But I do like men occasionally. I'd say that sexually I am 80% straight. The nice thing is that that 20 % is really kind of fun. I think of it like my secret life. It doesnt hurt my wife (not really competition), and I keep it safely under wraps.

I'm definately bi-sexual but it isnt an all or nothing thing like you read all over. You dont have to be gay or straight. Im pretty much a free spirit where sex is concerned. It's the best. I let the nature of life just take me where it will...

(not to mention the Woody Allen parable, my chances for a date are doubled)

I wonder how your wife feel about your free spirit. I wonder if it's a liberating and care free for her as it is for you?

Sir Ophiuchus

Not that she knows about it - he's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't.

Boston

Exactly.

Aard

Just remember guys - it's not cheating if it's with the other sex.

Annasopra

Aard wrote: »

Just remember guys - it's not cheating if it's with the other sex.

Are you serious?

Boston

Johnnymcg wrote: »

Are you serious?

No.

Doop

Who knows what 'understanding' manzalone might have with his wife, not really for anyone here to judge.

Annnnnnnnnnyway... back on topic!

OP just take your time, explore your sexuality and enjoy it, what ever it might be. None of the answers here are goin to give you a definitive answer. Just remember you dont have to be a 100% either way, many people arent. Do what feels right.