Sharing with strangers

Gillo

Up to now I've only ever shared a house with once with complete strangers which kinda ended up a disaster as two of the other people were a nitemare to live with. Any time other than that I've known the people I'd be sharing with in advance.
I'm now in a position where I'm looking at entering a house share with people I don't know, while there's plenty of places on Daft to choose from, it's more who I'd be sharing with that I'd be worried about.

So can anyone offer any tips or general advice or is it really just a case of luck of the draw?

shoegirl

Its kind of luck, but look out for obvious things like being emotionally unstable or depressive, that can be very difficult to live with.

I always found living with strangers easier than friends.

macy9

You could always go for a 6 month lease as opposed to 12 months that way if its a nightmare you can get out of there in a couple of months.

--LOS--

shoegirl wrote: »

Its kind of luck, but look out for obvious things like being emotionally unstable or depressive, that can be very difficult to live with.

I always found living with strangers easier than friends.

Surely thats not that obvious?

Op maybe try and team up with someone to look for somewhere like the room-mate database on daft, anyone ever tried this?

Try and get as much info as possible about the people before you view it and try and suss them out when you view it.

For me personally, I just wouldnt live with a bunch of girls again, if youre in college its annoying to live with people who are working as they dont care about the bills as much, if youre working, its probably annoying to live with people in college.

fontanalis

It's a gamble it can go two ways; axe muderer or Swedish Nympho net ball team, or just a normal person.
I only had to do it once and it worked out ok. For example if you're a working professional it would obviously be a bad idea to move in with students, one way might be to ask if it would be possible to talk to the person who just moved out.

tman

It can go horribly wrong or wonderfully right

I met a complete randomer and she seemed like the soundest person ever, so decided to take the place without even bothering to meet the other flatmate.
Flash forward 18 months and I have absolutely no contact with the first girl (she even deleted me as a friend on facebook), but am living with the other one (1st anniversary yesterday:))

People can seem cool at first, but you never really know for sure until you've lived together for a few weeks.

--LOS--

Ye aside from knowing what their story is, work/college etc, it is pretty much luck of the draw. Personally Ive never really been in a position where I am very comfortable in my own home living with strangers, Id rather live with someone where you can knock on the bathroom door and say hurry the f**k up, I need to pee

AARRRGH

I agree with the others: it really is a gamble.

This is my advice:

The issue I've had most trouble with is there are a lot of babies out there who don't think they should have to pay their share of the bills or pay their rent. As soon as this happens (tends to start happening in month 2 or 3) kick them out immediately. As harsh as this sounds, don't give them a chance because it'll just get worse.

Get an older flatmate: late 20's, early 30's. They tend to be quieter.

Ask them if they are clean freaks or dirt bags. Living with either extreme can be very stressful if you're "normal" when it comes to cleanliness.

Don't let them sign a lease. This will keep them as a "licensee" which means you have the power to kick them out using nothing other than "reasonable notice".

And finally, trust your instincts! I've ignored my instincts a few times because I felt sorry for the person and every single time I have regretted it. Listen to your instincts!!

--LOS--

AARRRGH wrote: »

The issue I've had most trouble with is there are a lot of babies out there who don't think they should have to pay their share of the bills or pay their rent. As soon as this happens (tends to start happening in month 2 or 3) kick them out immediately. As harsh as this sounds, don't give them a chance because it'll just get worse.

Ye the thing that bothers me with where I am at the moment is that I am generally the one that does the paying of the bills. The bills come in and are left on the kitchen table for everyone to see so that the others can leave their share there and I pay them in the post office. Even though I'll usually outline on them what we all owe (sum people cant add it seems), nearly always end up getting short changed coz people round it down which yes is a pain coz it all adds up.

Then it'll actually take ages for them to leave their share there even though the other 2 are working and I'm not and the bills usually go overdue. So then it becomes a pain of constanly keeping an eye on it and reminding them etc, the last bills that came in, I just paid in my share and left the bills there for the others to pay in the balance but again theyre gone overdue. I find it weird that some people feel absolutely no responsibility for the bills, so some older people can be really big babies too. It def wouldnt be me paying the reconnection fee but even still small things like this are an absolute headache with strangers. If it was a friend, you'd just tell them to cop on without them getting too offended and creating a bad atmosphere in the house.

macy9

Eughh.

I just moved in with a stranger-roommate and now she tells me that the boyfriend will be staying there until he finds accomodation and that he'll be there when she's away. Which is annoying because we're both away most weekends but he'll be there using the electricity. How long before I start asking to split the bills 3 ways?

Why didn't he just move in instead of me!!!

--LOS--

macy9 wrote: »

Eughh.

I just moved in with a stranger-roommate and now she tells me that the boyfriend will be staying there until he finds accomodation and that he'll be there when she's away. Which is annoying because we're both away most weekends but he'll be there using the electricity. How long before I start asking to split the bills 3 ways?

Why didn't he just move in instead of me!!!

I reckon now! Sounds like he's gona be there for at least a few weeks if shes letting you know that he'll be there at the weekends. Being there that lenght all the time isnt really on imo. Id be telling her that you dont mind her boyfriend staying once he's chipping in for the bills. Does she own the house?

Agent J

AARRRGH wrote: »

I agree with the others: it really is a gamble.

This is my advice:

The issue I've had most trouble with is there are a lot of babies out there who don't think they should have to pay their share of the bills or pay their rent. As soon as this happens (tends to start happening in month 2 or 3) kick them out immediately. As harsh as this sounds, don't give them a chance because it'll just get worse.

This.

I had a housemates mother come at me because i threatened to have him evicted if he didnt start paying his way(Long story). Best to nip it in the bud early.

bladebrew

the best advice (as mentioned above) would be find out what the other people in the house do,

in college i shared with 2 other guys doing a similar course and around the same age so everything went fine,we didnt have any problems,

when i quit college i moved into another houseshare with 2 guys and it was a nightmare,we had nothing in common, one was a nutter:eek:,

after that i lived with friends and it was ok apart from the odd argument but we were friends so it was soon patched up!

macy9

--LOS-- wrote: »

I reckon now! Sounds like he's gona be there for at least a few weeks if shes letting you know that he'll be there at the weekends. Being there that lenght all the time isnt really on imo. Id be telling her that you dont mind her boyfriend staying once he's chipping in for the bills. Does she own the house?

No, she's just renting the other room.

Its my first time moving out so I don't want to over-react but I also don't want lots of bills or having to share 1 bathroom with 2 others.