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Need advice girls
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22-03-2010 10:00pm#1ok so i tried the internet dating thing over a ear ago n was with this guy who turned out to be a major dick....shock ha but about a month ago i tried again but my confidence has been shattered.iv been talking to this AMAZING guy who has loads in common with me and stuff.the thing is im overweight but he doesnt know this because i didnt think we would talking that long.now he wants to meet up but i just dont know if i can muster up the courage to.what should i do?thanks ladies
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RacoonQueen wrote: »Don't worry about it. Maybe sent him another pic before you're due to meet which might show off your upper body more? That'll give him an idea before you meet, if he's worth meeting your size shouldn't bother him. If your size does bother him you're better off without anyway.
he already has this image of me in his head though.i just dont want him to feel awkward or have to face the embarassment.thanks for the advice though x 0 -
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The way I see it is you are never gonna know until you try! What's the worst that's going to happen? Maybe you wont like him!
Skinny or overweight, you can meet someone for the first time there may not be sparks, it's not to do with size all the time. If you meet up and there's no chemistry don't attribute it to your weight....by the sounds of it you are getting on well. You're not going to find out till you try so I say go for it! Good luck, hope it goes well 0 -
addictedtoshoes wrote: »The way I see it is you are never gonna know until you try! What's the worst that's going to happen? Maybe you wont like him!
Skinny or overweight, you can meet someone for the first time there may not be sparks, it's not to do with size all the time. If you meet up and there's no chemistry don't attribute it to your weight....by the sounds of it you are getting on well. You're not going to find out till you try so I say go for it! Good luck, hope it goes well
thank you.all of you.your so nice 0 -
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addictedtoshoes wrote: »Seriously though, I'm a size 10 and average looking and have had PLENTY of knock backs and waiting by the phone for the call that never comes, weight doesn't always come into it, some guys are just dicks!!!! Hopefully that's not the case with you
that they are haha i got a pretty-ish face but its the body deparment that lets me down,size 18
and i have a cool enough personality,am funny(apparently ha)but when it comes to things like this,my confidence just doesnt seem to be there at all.sucks bigtime!! thanks for being so dotey helping x 0 -
that they are haha i got a pretty-ish face but its the body deparment that lets me down,size 18 and i have a cool enough personality,am funny(apparently ha)but when it comes to things like this,my confidence just doesnt seem to be there at all.sucks bigtime!! thanks for being so dotey helping x
Well it's great that you recognise all the good things about you and he should too. It's easier said than done to say act confident - maybe try develop an alter ego like Beyonce's Sasha Fierce!! You've never met this guy before so use it as a little tester, act like he should be damn lucky to be meeting you and see what happens - keep us posted on the date if it goes ahead!0 -
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addictedtoshoes wrote: »Well it's great that you recognise all the good things about you and he should too. It's easier said than done to say act confident - maybe try develop an alter ego like Beyonce's Sasha Fierce!! You've never met this guy before so use it as a little tester, act like he should be damn lucky to be meeting you and see what happens - keep us posted on the date if it goes ahead!
sasha fierce!!ha in limerick?? lol i will,if anything comes of it.think what im going to do is text or email him and try and tell him everything and take it from there 0 -
sasha fierce!!ha in limerick?? lol i will,if anything comes of it.think what im going to do is text or email him and try and tell him everything and take it from there
Yeah do that but under no circumstances apologise for your weight and be like "I hope you still want to see me". Try not overthink it, just risk it, meet up and see what happens and if it doesn't go well just put it down to experience....and don't always assume the worst it could go well!0 -
sasha fierce!!ha in limerick?? lol i will,if anything comes of it.think what im going to do is text or email him and try and tell him everything and take it from there
I did that & met all the greatest dicks in Ireland - seriously there must have been a radar on me !!!! If he doesnt like you the way you are tell him to feck off !!! Plain & simple - he doesnt like you for what you are then he aint worth it !!
Good luck & stop fretting or you wont enjoy the date .................... & mak sure you fill us in afterwards lol0 -
I did that & met all the greatest dicks in Ireland - seriously there must have been a radar on me !!!! If he doesnt like you the way you are tell him to feck off !!! Plain & simple - he doesnt like you for what you are then he aint worth it !!
Good luck & stop fretting or you wont enjoy the date .................... & mak sure you fill us in afterwards lol
ha thinking i got the radar for it too :P thanks hun n ill fill ye in on what happens if anything actually does x 0 -
addictedtoshoes wrote: »Yeah do that but under no circumstances apologise for your weight and be like "I hope you still want to see me".
I second this. If you want to text/email him, that's totally your call, but you shouldn't feel that you've done something wrong or have to explain anything or deal with him "feeling awkward" or facing any embarrassment IF he doesn't like the way you look. That's his problem.
Hope all goes well, there's nothing like the excitement of a first date. 0 -
I was in the same situation as your in now met a really hot guy on a chat site and gave him my number and then we decided to meet up i was very nerves as i thought he'd tell me f off after he saw me cause of my weight at the time but i wasn't huge or nothin like so we both sent pictures to each other so he knew what i looked like but not about my weight so anyway we met up and i didn't have a thing 2 worry about as he didn't care 3years on we live together now and couldn't be happier so i say just meet up he shouldn't care about ur weight if he likes u 0
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I was in the same situation as your in now met a really hot guy on a chat site and gave him my number and then we decided to meet up i was very nerves as i thought he'd tell me f off after he saw me cause of my weight at the time but i wasn't huge or nothin like so we both sent pictures to each other so he knew what i looked like but not about my weight so anyway we met up and i didn't have a thing 2 worry about as he didn't care 3years on we live together now and couldn't be happier so i say just meet up he shouldn't care about ur weight if he likes u
wow!a success story congrats hun!woke up today knowin what i wanna do.im going to email him(can say a lot more via email)and then see what to do from there.i have it all written out,but gonna go clear my head and go on a lil walk thn send it!!il keep ye updated and thanks for all the feedback 0 -
wow!a success story congrats hun!woke up today knowin what i wanna do.im going to email him(can say a lot more via email)and then see what to do from there.i have it all written out,but gonna go clear my head and go on a lil walk thn send it!!il keep ye updated and thanks for all the feedback
I wouldn't go sending him a big explanatory email... you don't have to make excuses for yourself pet! You're only showing your insecurities that way and it makes for an uneven dynamic where he has the power because he deigned to date you even though you're overweight. That's not healthy.
All you need to do is say "I'd love to meet up, here's a proper picture of me so you'll recognise me!" and send him a full-body pic. He'll either say yes or no.
Seriously - you've done nothing wrong, don't act like you've been lying to him.0 -
I wouldn't go sending him a big explanatory email... you don't have to make excuses for yourself pet! You're only showing your insecurities that way and it makes for an uneven dynamic where he has the power because he deigned to date you even though you're overweight. That's not healthy.
All you need to do is say "I'd love to meet up, here's a proper picture of me so you'll recognise me!" and send him a full-body pic. He'll either say yes or no.
Seriously - you've done nothing wrong, don't act like you've been lying to him.
but in all fairness i have kept it from him,u know?!i get what ur saying but i think i should at least put myself all out there and take it from there.if itl just end up as friendship then so be it,but i dont want him to be shocked when he sees me.hes a nice guy,or at least i think he is,and hes told me all bout him etc so i think i should just do the same thanks for ur msg tho hun 0 -
but in all fairness i have kept it from him,u know?!i get what ur saying but i think i should at least put myself all out there and take it from there.if itl just end up as friendship then so be it,but i dont want him to be shocked when he sees me.hes a nice guy,or at least i think he is,and hes told me all bout him etc so i think i should just do the same thanks for ur msg tho hun
There's a way to prevent him being shocked without apologising for how you look - send him a picture. Believe me, I've been there and done that - by apologising for your appearance you create an uneven dynamic. Both him and you will feel as if he's doing you some sort of favour by dating you. Seriously - I've been there. Believe in yourself and the fact that you're dateable. Don't apologise for being who you are.0 -
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wow!a success story congrats hun!woke up today knowin what i wanna do.im going to email him(can say a lot more via email)and then see what to do from there.i have it all written out,but gonna go clear my head and go on a lil walk thn send it!!il keep ye updated and thanks for all the feedback
Wont go into details on this yoke - but mine was a success story too.. lol
dyin to know how you get on now - big nosey head on me lol0 -
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hey girls!!met up with him today for a casual drink and it went really well.hes a total dote but i just wanna thank ye all so much for the advice n the lil push i needed xx
Oh I'm so delighted for you Have been following your post! You seem like you have a cracking personality and I'm sure you're just as gorgeous on the outside! Yay 
Keep us posted on how it goes x 0 -
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