I never get excited about anything

LegacyUser

I'm depressed most of the time. Occasionally, I slide into a few hours of really deep depression, where I panic about the future, and find the world just too hard to live in,but for the most part, it's not serious, just generally below the line of contentment and depression.

However, I NEVER feel 'up.' I never get excited about things, I never, ever laugh out loud, and there is nothing in life that I get enthusiastic about. Generally, the most happy I am is when I am left alone to wallow in my lonesomeness, losing myself on the computer, or in front of the television, perhaps. I hate my job, and I don't know why I bother doing it, other than for money to eat and exist, and because society doesn't like dropouts. But staying in my job is like wasting my life. I have no third level education and no prospects.

I was never good at studying, it just brings on worse bouts of depression, and I am not really an academic type. I just want a job I can stay in and be happy.

I just can't seem to find anything in life that gives me a lift, and no matter how I pretend to be 'normal' and happy around others, I am sure the depression shows, as I am never the most popular person, even though I am pleasant enough, and never pour my troubles on others.

I seldom if ever date, as it is just too hard to pretend to be the happy, successful, ambitious guy girls look out for. I hate pretence, and I want to FEEL that happiness and ambition. I can't just pretend. But no matter how much I try, or where I look, that happiness is just not there.

How do I motivate myself? It's not a case of finding new interests. I have, or had, interests. But even the interests that I used to have are dulling and fading. It seems to be something in my brain that has switched off, and all I can feel is apathy and disinterest, no matter what I do. Is anyone else in this dark room too?

LegacyUser

The name for what you are experiencing is 'anhedonia' -the complete lack of pleasure and joy from anything in life. It is a symptom of depression.

Also the fact that you find the need to pretend to be what you think people expect is very typical of depression too. It is indeed draining being around people trying to pretend to give a sh!t about all the stuff that is supposed to be interesting/exiting etc

That is called wearing a mask and it is extremely tiring.

I also have no interest in anything. No attention span, can't read a book any more. Can't concentrate in work. Takes everything I have to just go to work.

I am waiting to see a counsellor at the moment. Go to your GP and at least get on a list. That probably seems an insurmountable task at the moment but aim twords it.

LegacyUser

so I feel like this too. however i've felt like this for so long that this is my "normal" :-( I constantly feel *slightly* miserable! not hopelessly miserable, just not happy or content! I try telling myself to cop on, and that i'm actually doing pretty well and that other people are having a much harder time of life than me, but none of it helps. Don't know what to do about it, and don't have any advise, but just thought you'd like to know you're not alone.

Jaxxy

Sometimes you can't give yourself a kick up the backside to get motivated. Sometimes you need some help to start even contemplating feeling better.

Like anhedonia suggested see a GP. You don't have to confide everything in your doctor, but he or she should have some useful advice and suggestions for you to take under consideration.

ItisintheSTARS

Itsdarkinhere wrote: »

I'm depressed most of the time. Occasionally, I slide into a few hours of really deep depression, where I panic about the future, and find the world just too hard to live in,but for the most part, it's not serious, just generally below the line of contentment and depression.

However, I NEVER feel 'up.' I never get excited about things, I never, ever laugh out loud, and there is nothing in life that I get enthusiastic about. Generally, the most happy I am is when I am left alone to wallow in my lonesomeness, losing myself on the computer, or in front of the television, perhaps. I hate my job, and I don't know why I bother doing it, other than for money to eat and exist, and because society doesn't like dropouts. But staying in my job is like wasting my life. I have no third level education and no prospects.

I was never good at studying, it just brings on worse bouts of depression, and I am not really an academic type. I just want a job I can stay in and be happy.

I just can't seem to find anything in life that gives me a lift, and no matter how I pretend to be 'normal' and happy around others, I am sure the depression shows, as I am never the most popular person, even though I am pleasant enough, and never pour my troubles on others.

I seldom if ever date, as it is just too hard to pretend to be the happy, successful, ambitious guy girls look out for. I hate pretence, and I want to FEEL that happiness and ambition. I can't just pretend. But no matter how much I try, or where I look, that happiness is just not there.

How do I motivate myself? It's not a case of finding new interests. I have, or had, interests. But even the interests that I used to have are dulling and fading. It seems to be something in my brain that has switched off, and all I can feel is apathy and disinterest, no matter what I do. Is anyone else in this dark room too?

I replied to this post a few hours ago.
I am busy for the next hour ,but will look in then 1 hr]

If you wish I can do it from a SIDEREAL true astronomy point of view .
No divination,just a look at your mon /sun /jupiter to see if Saturn is causing ,and maybe understand in the bigger picture,Why !

LegacyUser

OP, I'm quite similar in what you describe.

I very rarely get excited about anything. I actually can't remember the last time I got excited about anything. Occasionally I will get a bit excited over something really small and stupid, but in general, I'm very apathetic about everything.

I don't know if you seen a similar post from me earlier this week. I'm supposed to go on a trip this Friday but I'm so indifferent about the whole thing. It's a 50/50 as to whether I will actually go now. It's stupid as I've the whole thing booked and paid for. I'm going with a group of people (from online who I've never met) so in theory it would make no difference if I didn't show up as they're not really depending on me or anything.

I kind of like spending time on my own, sometimes to wallow in my own misery if I'm feeling down. It's pretty sad when you think about it, but that's the way it is. My job is ok, but it often does my head in and I literally just work to pay the bills and the rent etc. I'm not one of these people who loves my job or am passionate about it. I often wonder if I could be about any job.

I went to my doctor before Christmas as I thought I might be suffering from depression. One of the things he asked me was am I generally a happy person and do I look forward to stuff a lot. I had to say no as I rarely am. I'm quite often just ambivalent towards most things. I don't really remember how or when this started, or maybe I have too much time on my hands now and I think more about it.

I also have issues with self esteem and confidence so my doctor has recommended that I go see a psychologist. He's also said that I should go back to him if I feel myself getting depressed again.

I know this maybe hasn't helped you, but it might make you feel better knowing you aren't the only one.

ItisintheSTARS

another one wrote: »

so I feel like this too. however i've felt like this for so long that this is my "normal" :-( I constantly feel *slightly* miserable! not hopelessly miserable, just not happy or content! I try telling myself to cop on, and that i'm actually doing pretty well and that other people are having a much harder time of life than me, but none of it helps. Don't know what to do about it, and don't have any advise, but just thought you'd like to know you're not alone.

I looked at the posts on breakup of relationships ,but this kind of 'chronic 'low feeling is different,and relates to the past,perhaps to lack of love and
fun education as a small child.
Sounds to me as though you all have suffered from not being 'recognised' ,from being neglected,or from loss when young.
Would this be the case at all ?

LegacyUser

Guys I'm in the same boat here. Got prescribed lexapro, an ssri, by my GP and after two weeks I've noticed a major difference. I've been able to get motivated for college work and everything.

This from someone who could hardly drag himself out of bed. I almost didn't remember what it was like to be happy/excited about something.

I know anti-d's aren't for everyone, but so far so good from a fellow "couldn't give a toss about anything" person.