Anyone else like this?

LegacyUser

I've noticed some behaviour of mine and I was wondering if anyone else us the same. Often I will buy tickets to something, concert etc, or agree to a night out or organise a trip somewhere. But a lot of the time, as the thing approaches, I'll find myself not wanting to go. For example I have a trip away planned and it lasts a week, starting this weekend. But I've been giving serious thought to just not going. It's stupid as it's all paid for, and it's not like I've something better to be doing.

It's stupid I know and not very serious, but I've noticed this almost all the time about many things, nights out, trips away, job interviews, events etc.

Even for this trip on Friday I'm thinking I could just make up some excuse and not go and it wouldn't affect anyone.

Anyone else like this?

curehead

i know how you feel i do this all the time
i never plan holidays and hate going to events that are planned in advance i think it's the whole anticipation and build up that i cant handle. i like to do most things on the spur of the moment .A lot of the time when i do book a holiday ' concert' football match or whatever i never tell anyone till the last minute that way I'll avoid all the hype ' i don't know where all this stems from either ' it's like if it's hyped up too much it just doesn't work out or something.
WWW.lastminute.com ........ there's more of us than you'd think

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have exactly the same experiences. Don't know what age you are but I'm in my 30s. As a teen/20s I would agree to go somewhere /buy the tickets whatever and sometimes not go & feel really terrible.
It came to a point where my mates stopped asking me as I was too flaky.
Now I long for invites and have been making a real effort-just as its kinda too late because my friends are settled/broke not interested.

If you can at all, try to go once you commit to something, because it will end up leaving you feeling very alienated. I discovered that I usually have an ok or good time...(never the disaster I imagine anyhow!)
All the best.

sajama

I could've written that post myself a while ago! I had a few issues at the time though with self-esteem etc. Then a wise person told me that I had to leave my comfort zone if I wanted anything to change, and to "feel the fear, and do it anyway". Okay, so "fear" might be going to an extreme, but this is the direction in which my feelings were heading!

But I've heard of many people feeling this way, so you're definitely not alone! Also, as the previous poster said, go ahead with your plans, they will always be okay in the end - they might not go exceedingly well, but they rarely, if ever, go as bad as we might build them up in our heads - what harm can come from following through with them?

lemonbonbon

im EXACTLY the same! im only 21 but ive been lik dat since i was young. school tests,interviews!! even before my 6th year hol i was crying the night before-i tink i get over nervous or something. im always up for everything but as the day approcahes id rather stay at home! x

Bluebell35

That is definitely an anxiety issue, do you suffer with anxiety otherwise like fear of irrational things happening ?

lemonbonbon

i tink i do mayb

LegacyUser

I'm in my early 30's and I think I've been like this a while but more recently it seems to have got worse. I have low self esteem and low cofidence at times. I've also been described as a worrier so perhaps there's an element of anxiety there too. At the moment I'm not that worried about going but at the same time, I could easily enough talk myself out of going. Having said that, I'm due to meet up with a friend of mine at this destination who I haven't seen in years. I can tell she's looking forward to seeing me so I know I'd feel a little bad now if I cancelled. At the same time, meeting up with her isn't the reason I'm going. It just so happens that she will be nearby

I'll see how it goes. Like I say I'm still undecided about it and if I had a bad day or became annoyed about something, I could see that tipping the scales decisively one way or the other.

I like the idea of doing stuff last minute, however the issue can be that the trip etc can cost so much more. Sometimes you have too book these things early

LegacyUser

So I did it again, I cancelled my trip at the last minute and I feel like an idiot now. I was supposed to leave early on Friday morning and I was very undecided as to whether I should go or not. On Thursday I flipped between deciding I was going to then being unsure.

After I got home on Thursday, for some reason I felt like not going. I'm not sure why but I suddenly had no interest in going. I wasn't excited about the trip, I wasn't looking forward to it and was very unenthusiastic about the whole thing.

My friend who I was supposed to see is disappointed that I'm not going and I told her a little white lie in that I missed my flight. I don't think she believed me. But I didn't want to admit the truth that I had decided at the last minute not to go and seem super flaky.

I also found it weird that the others who were going were very excited and looking forward to it and I was totally apathetic about the whole thing.

Anyway, I now feel like an idiot and I feel bad for disappointing people. It's so stupid that I even priced flights out today to see if any were at a reasonable price (they weren't). I mean how flaky and indecisive is that? I was also checking out prices for another trip later in the summer as I feel bad for disappointing my friend. However no doubt she'd probably be sceptical as to whether I'd actually show up, and rightly so.

I really need to get my head straight and stop booking things I'm not going to follow through with. If nothing else, it's a waste of money, although I should get most of my money back on my flights as I booked so early, the majority of the money was taxes.

I also think I will remember this feeling next time I start to get hesitant, and hopefully that will avoid me acting like an idiot in the future.

Please don't flame me for acting stupid