I don't know what to do

jclarke

I really need someones help.. my boyfriend has broken up wit me and we have been going out for three years and im heartbroken i caused the break up because i was to possesive and i have realised that now but i think its to late please can someone help me what to do now.. i love him more than anything !!!!!!:(

iMax

Doesn't feel like it right now, but you WILL get over it. Learn from it. The people we are involved with in our lives make us into the people we become. They get us ready for our future partners.

Just out of interest how old are you & he?

Coriolanus

Well, take it as a lesson I guess. Next time around be less possessive etc and at least that way the pain now serves a purpose in the future.

jclarke

i want to get him back please..somebody just help!

iMax

jclarke wrote: »

i want to get him back please

This is an example of you being posessive. I'm trying to help you. Can you let me know how old you both are, & the conditions of your breakup ?

Ultimately though the two of you have to want to be in the relationship, if he doesn't there's no way you can have the relationship again.

Wibbs

Much better bet here I reckon.

jclarke

im not being posseive im saying i want to win him back and does anyone know how i can do this. he does want a realtionship i think but only if i change for him and make him happy and im willing to do that i just dont know how to get him back . should i text him or just leave it until he does.. i dont know ?

iMax

OK, I'm unsubscribing, you don't appear to want to listen or volunteer any info, so good luck with it.

AnnyHallsal

Cut all contact. The more you pursue him the more he will run.

Barracudaincork

jclarke wrote: »

im not being posseive im saying i want to win him back and does anyone know how i can do this. he does want a realtionship i think but only if i change for him and make him happy and im willing to do that i just dont know how to get him back . should i text him or just leave it until he does.. i dont know ?

If this man wanted a relationship with you he would have one, you have pretty much told him you will change etc however he has choosen not to be with you and you should respect that IMO. I think you underestimate how peoples feelings for people change when they are treated badly or unfairly and being possisive is an example of that. Sorry if you think im being harsh but i think you need a bit of a wake up call and you werent listening to other posters when they tried to give you one.

krudler

jclarke wrote: »

i want to get him back please..somebody just help!

To be brutally honest theres not much anyone on here can do for you, if he's ended it then its for his reasons, saying you'll change now is like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, wont do anything if he's made up his mind, possesive people dont suddenly change overnight. Like was already said learn from this and when you meet someone else try not to be so overbearing if thats what the issue was

jclarke

its not that im not listening to what your saying but its just so hard to just give up after three years. i know he wants it to work.. i just need to find a way to show him i will be a better person!

Tmeos

OP I think you have to consider if you can change. I know you might really want to but making promises to him that things will be different is pointless if you can't follow through. You need to examine the root of your behavior and ask yourself honestly if you can change or if you will be just putting up a more convincing facade.

As regards getting him back, if possessiveness/clinginess was the problem then forcing the issue is just going to tell him he made the right decision. Concentrate on getting yourself together and giving him some space for now, then maybe after you both have some time to cool down contact him and arrange to meet to discuss it. If you can show him that you genuinely understand why he ended it and honestly explain the reasons for your behavior and what you have done to ensure things will be different going forward then he may consider giving things another go.

Unfortunately no one on here can give you a fail-safe solution to get him back.

jclarke

thank you that really did help im going to leave him for awhile till i get my head around it and then maybe text him to meet. i do feel like i could really change better for him but maybe i might feel different in a weeks time. thank you for the advice

Tmeos

Youre welcome and remember if he's meant for you'll end up together - if not its his loss

Good luck.