Finished with the nicest girl I've ever met

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Left Ireland last year to work abroad. First 2 months away where great, going out with the new work lads and getting locked - it was brilliant. Then I met this local girl, beautiful she was. I still remember the first time I seen here. We dated, then became serious. It was great - she treated me like a king on earth. The language sometimes got in the way and she was no where near as extrovert as I am - sometimes I felt we were to different. Then the other week she started talking about this other guy, fine I thought - she has lots of guy friends. But then she was out with him and some of his/her friends... I was out with mine, and called her and she said she'd call me back - but never did.

The next day I was meant to go up and see her, she called me and was asking me to be careful on the roads as the snow was quite bad - but I just completely ignored her and told her I wasn't going to see her - I had work etc.. Which was a lie, I was just pulling a strop. I didn't talk to her Sunday either - half expecting her to call me.

Then Monday I called her, I said we needed to talk - things just weren't right. I went to her house and she admitted she kissed the other man. I said ok, I was willing to forgive this and we decided to try and work it out between us- we had sex twice and all was good. But then she was texting that same guy while I was lying in bed with her, I told her since we had decided to try and work this out she had to tell him we were back on. She wouldn't do it there and then she said she had to do it her way, I threatened to leave but she talked me into staying. The next day I called her and asked did she tell your man the situation. She didn't. She wanted a break between us - I felt she just wanted a break so she could see how things would work out between her and that guy... so I called it there and then.

I realised how much I missed her and tried to get her back, I called her on the Friday night and she was in bed with that other guy, I know they didn't sleep together... I was so angry, sad... basically any and every negative emotion you could imagine. I went to her house the next morning to try and save us - she said we were finished and there is nothing I can do to change that.

I never came here to find a girlfriend, I came here to work - but now that Ive lost her Ive never felt so alone. Excuse the length and quality of the post, I just need to get it all out. There were many times I felt that we just weren't right for each other, but when I look back on it she was perfect in my eyes - the nicest girl I've ever met. I have to add that the two months before all this happened I was treating her like **** because I could. I know it's wrong.

I've blocked her from facebook, de-tagged photos of us together. Called her tonight as I'd got a new phoen and didnt recognise the number, then text her - saying who's this, i got a voicemail from you. She text back saying she never sent me anything, sorry. I deleted her number then.

I feel so torn up inside. I'm not myself. I see her in everything around me. I hear her on the radio because it's the language she speaks. Other women don't look anywhere near as beautiful as her and I feel like no one out there could love me as much as she did. This is affecting my work very much.

Can someone help me get over all this?

I feel so alone in the first time in years, I have friends here but it's just not the same.

Any and all words of advice are welcome.

thanks alot,

Sad.

liah

"Nicest girl" you've ever met? She certainly doesn't sound like it! Honestly, OP, you're well rid of her-- she was stringing you along as a back up plan just in case it didn't work out with the guy she really wanted. Does that really sound like the kind of girl you want to be with?

I know it hurts, but you deserve someone so, so much better and more respectful than that.

Just keep doing your thing and make sure you try to keep your mind off it by filling your day up with hobbies you enjoy. You'll get over it in time.

Daftendirekt

You were absolutely right to end it when you did.

It feels horrible now, but that's just something you have to ride out. It does get easier though, and you've already taken the first step to moving on by deleting her number and blocking her Facebook. So fair play, you're already one step ahead.

The most important thing for you now is to not let this ruin your time abroad. You don't want to come back to Ireland kicking yourself for wasting a potentially amazing year pining over a woman who, by the sounds of it, isn't worth a minute of your time.

Obviously, you won't be able to forget her overnight. But what you can do is just focus on having a good time. You just need to trust that one day (soon enough, I might add) you'll be able to read back over your own post and wonder what you were even upset about in the first place.

Best of luck, and enjoy the rest of your year!

Kimia

I was just about to say the same - 'nicest girl you've ever met'??? Jesus - what kind of girls have you been meeting if this was the nicest one. My god. :eek:

OP you have dodged a bullet. She sounds HORRIBLE! She was stringing you along as a back up while clearly with the other guy (texting him in front of you WTF?)

Do not question yourself on this!

G-Money

OP, the only reason she seems nice now is that you are looking back on what you lost (and why) and you are ignoring all the bad stuff and only seeing the good stuff. The fact that she seemingly wanted to string you along and keep you as a backup so she could test the waters with the other guy is unacceptable.

Your mindset now kind of reminds me what it's like when you leave a job you hate. When you dislike it, you are applying for jobs elsewhere and then get offered something and all of a sudden, the old job doesn't seem so bad. It's the case that you overlook the bad stuff and think to yourself "maybe it wasn't so bad after all". I think it's a bit of fear of the unknown, so you automatically think of going back to a situation where you felt more comfortable.

I thought the same thing myself recently when it came to a girl. My situation wasn't the same as yours but I remember thinking to myself after we ended "I wonder if I made a mistake.." But that's just the initial feeling that everyone gets from time to time.

You need to stop thinking of this girl as the nicest girl that's ever existed, she's not. She sounds the furthest away from nice as you could get. The nicest girl that's ever existed wouldn't be f****g you and then lying in bed afterwards with you and be texting another guy arranging to meet him for the same thing.

You need to change your whole mindset here and stop thinking about what you've lost. I'd argue that you haven't lost anything and in-fact you've had a lucky escape. She is his problem now and no doubt, a few months down the line she'll be pulling the same stunt with him and some other guy.

Jeez, could you imagine being married to such a girl and having children with them? You'd be looking at the child and wondering if you need to sneak the child off to the doctors for a paternity test.

You had a lucky escape and your emotions are all f****d up now and you aren't seeing all the bad stuff. Focus on all the crap that she's done and you'll soon stop wishing you were with her.

Here's to a speedy recovery!