Dating ... I don't know how ...

greengirl31

Hi there ...
I'm hoping to get a few pointers because I'm clueless ... I'm a fairly well rounded 33 yr old , not stunning but not unattractive, and and have just realised that i've never really been on a "date" .... when I was in my late teens/early 20's I was always with boys/men that i already knew fairly well before we got together. I didnt really have a serious relationship till later in my 20's and that lasted 4 years but again I knew him quite well before we started going out but it just sort of happened IYKWIM ...
That was all a long time ago though and I've been single now for 2.5 years and now I'm ready to meet someone again. But now all my friends have settled down and are all attached and we all have children so deciding on Friday evening to hit the town is a thing of the past ...
I've decided to give internet dating a go but I'm floundering a bit ... I've gone through the sites, had a look at profiles/pics and then when I decide to contact one I haven't a clue what to say ... All I'm short of is the "d'ya come here often" line ...
Does anyone have any advise ... If i can't even manage to chat to someone on the net what chance have I got ... :-)
A

LegacyUser

Hi, I've been there, done that and have about 15 tshirts at this stage.

Woman in my late 30s, very similar to you. Kind of drifted into and out of relationships and tried internet dating last year. Before you read on, be aware that it will be negative. Maybe it was the sites I was on.

Anyways....I took it very seriously. I thought (foolishly) that the guys I ended up chatting to (emailing or texting) were the guys i would eventually have met. Inevitby found that the guys I met, were actuallly pretty socially inept. I read that expression on herea while ago, and it was the perfect expression for the guys I met.

They found it very easy to email. Very easy to text. In my mind, they were the guys I was going to meet, but the reality was pretty different. The guy who would 'chat' to me for hours on msn, or text me continously, turned out to be pretty shy in realy life.My advce, and this is just my advice, would be to forget the internet. Go out and meet real men who might introduce you a real life of dating in the real world. Again, I can only apologise if this seems to be a negative post, but my experience of internet dating was very negative.

Firetrap

I know how you feel. It can be tough finding people to go out with when your friends are all settled with kids or loved up and want to sit in with their boyfriends. All I can suggest is that you try to meet new people by going down the hackneyed old club/society route. It helps too if the people from said club retire to the pub afterwards for some liquid refreshment. You never know who knows who and perhaps you might have some luck that way.

I've not tried internet dating myself but from reading threads here, I get the impression that if you do think you're interested in someone, meet them in person reasonably soon because some people will happily email/text forever.

Jonniealan

You might be better off using a paid site as opposed to a free one try maybefriends for example. I tried it and although i didnt have any bad experiences I didnt have any good ones either. Most of the women i spoke to seemed nice enough i hear theres a few oddball blokes on these sites but wouldnt know myself. But I do agree its very difficult meeting people these days.