Heartbroken

LegacyUser

Hello peoples, just wanted to ask how you would feel after breaking up with the mother of your son after 3 half years..my son is 2. I cant stand the thoughts of her being with another man..there is no chance of reconciliation and its killing me..I guess i have to just move on eh and let her be happy..??

mobilecore

Sadly,
You are about to go through a rough patch mate.
The feeling of not wanting her to be with another man is natural. you love her. even if you had problems which caused the break up.

The old cliche - it takes time. But its true. Sadly the downside to that is from now and until you feel better, you will feel like crap. but you will be complete again.

we've all been there mate. maybe not as bad as having a 2 year old child involved. but we have all had those feelings of thinking of the person we love being with another. It tears you up inside. It hurts.

Time my friend. Thats what it takes. I used to hate when people said that to me - cause it feels like the hurt will never go away. Only when we look back when we are ok. Do we realise ... time will heal.

Take time out.But not too much. Just as long as you need. Then move on and start new.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the kind words mobilecore. :-)

LegacyUser

Excellent advice from mobilescore

It happened to me except in my case I'm the mother. My ex left me a year ago. We have children together. I was heartbroken but am getting there day by day

I'm only starting to feel better now a year on even though in my case he was emotionally abusive and a control freak, I knew I was better off without him. In fact I discovered recently that my ex has been seeing someone the past year, he rubbed my nose in it but you know what after the inital shock, this helped me move on. To realise there was no way back

I still feel sick at the thoughts of him and his new woman all cosy together so I'm not gonna tell you its easy, it is not but take one day at a time, take some time out to find yourself, be good to yourself, meet up with friends, take up a new hobby and do things you enjoy.

For your own sake, Make sure you draw up an access agreement perferably with mediation but if needed go the legal route as this way everybody knows where they stand. Do up and expenses sheet, sort out maintenace and then have as little contact with ex as possible. Only communicate with you ex regarding your son. I use email so there are always records. Its very important that you seek guardianship of your son, if she does not agree to this she may have ulterior motives. Then apply to the district court.

If I survived the last year, you can!

Payton

+1 happened to me
Be strong, I know they might be the wrong words but you have to be. Think of when you pick your child up, try to be courtious to your ex both for your sake and the sake of the relationship with your ex and child. No hostility. I havent been there but I can imagine what your going through. Take up something thats going to use up your time and keep your mind busy. Plan the day/s with your child that you get the full enjoyment out of it. Maybe go easy on the drink (if you do drink) with emotions running high.
But look after yourself for at this moment you are the most important person now. take care