What do ye make of this?

missunderstood1

hi ya'll, first off beautiful day and hope everyone that takes the time to read this has a wonderful, happy and safe weekend

now to the doom and gloom!
righteo me and a frien have been friens for a bout 10 years, although i moved away for two years and we kinda BOTH lost contact with each other except for the odd phone call. I know i should of made more of an effort, and im willing to admit it, i hold my hands up no problem, though it annoys me that she has made it kinda obvious that its all my fault. but to be honest i hadnt the money to be ringing her, id family to ring and i was flat broke, went out about 5 times in the two years and dressed in pennys clothes..not the issue though i was happy

im back living sat home now, we have be spending more time with each other maybe once or twice during the week..then weekends i hear nothing from her, she never asks me to go out with her and she knows ill be just sitting at home. take last week she had no money for petrol so i gave her 15euro to get some, same day was talkin about paddys day saying i had nothing to do, she said she was going to such a place and never even said oh you should come. yday she needed 20euro and although it left me with little money for the week i gave it to her, then i was her in house and she spent the hole time on facebook, while i just sat there. we then went up to my house and were sitting there and she asked could she use my laptop and went on facebook again. another mutual friend rang then she was away for the night and my friend was like oh i wish i was there saying it a couple of time, to be honest it hurt me i was thinkin am i really that bad company.

i do consider my self a kind hearted person and would gave anything i have to someone who i thought needed it up.
like she gave up drinkin cause she was a mess with drink, so i was like oh we can go out and i wont drinkl either or we can organise a weekend going to an event where its not just about drinkin really trying for her. shes back drinkin now again.

am i better off with out her as a friend, the thing is i think alot of her as shes such an old friend we practically grew up together. im 21 btw... and sorry about the lenght of this :cool:

JonathanAnon

She doesnt sound like much of a friend to be honest, more of a user. And stop giving her money that you need .. I dont know whether you are doing this out of misplaced guilt, but giving her money that you yourself need is not a very smart thing to do...

I dont see what you are getting out of this "friendship"..

globemaster1986

JonathanAnon wrote: »

She doesnt sound like much of a friend to be honest, more of a user. And stop giving her money that you need .. I dont know whether you are doing this out of misplaced guilt, but giving her money that you yourself need is not a very smart thing to do...

I dont see what you are getting out of this "friendship"..

The dude hit the nail on the head! She's a user, rude beyond belief (the facebook thing is just plain rude!) and not worth the effort! And stop giving her money, she's a sponge!

gubby

sorry.. I'm confused. are you male??

Miss Fluff

She sounds like a user and you sound like a doormat. Break the cycle, you don't need people like that in your life. And you should think about toughening up.

missunderstood1

yes i am female. i think yous are all right, i need to grow a pair and stop being so soft!! its my biggest downfall i can never say no to anyone! but how do u just stop being friends with someone you have known nearly all your life?

Ruby-J

you just say exactly how you feel to her and if shes worth it or a "friend" she will hang around and work it out with you and stop using you. otherwise if she doesnt hang about, you are 110% better off without her. the past is the past. there are tonnes of decent people out there you can have years of REAL friendship with in 10 years time be looking back and thinking yeh i was totally used back then. Best of luck with it. but do whats best for you. you dont need "friends" like that.

OS119

missunderstood1 wrote: »

but how do u just stop being friends with someone you have known nearly all your life?

new SIM card, change your privacy settings on Failbook.

quite easy really.

missunderstood1

well i dont think itll be that easy since we are from a small town and have mutual friends. but i do need to take a step back.
its just so hurtful when you realise someone is just using you, specially when all i want to do is be friends well all i wanted to do was be friends not sure about that now after her recent antics

Miss Fluff

You can disengage from someone without it being blatantly obvious or causing a furore. And you certainly don't need to do anything as drastic as change your phone number. Turn down invitations on the pretext of being busy/don't invite her to events or in to your home again/ignore calls and texts where at all possible. Don't instigate any contact yourself. You don't need to be obviously nasty to her and cause tension between mutual friends who may feel they need to take sides. Just slowly freeze her out.

The beauty of being a grown up is that you don't have to be friends with anyone because of geography or circumstance. You choose your friends on based on mutual respect and fondness for each other. She sounds like a user and you don't need people like that in your life so just slowly disengage.

missunderstood1

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, sooo happy!

well i just got a phone for an interview for a job on monday in another county.
oh i cant believe it, i know its just an interview but its one step closer in the new start iv been looking for.

wish me luck

christina_x

good luck with the interview
and stop putting effort in with your friend, shes probably behaving that way to get revenge as she blames you for loosing contact. She sounds like am immature git so it wouldnt suprise me really!