Housemate is ALWAYS there

LegacyUser

Anyone else dealth with something like this? living with a friend of mine who doesnt drink so never goes out and has a small circle of friends, most of whom live in other parts of the country, hes out of work at the moment and barely leaves the house. Obviously its his house too and hes free to do as he wishes, but he never, ever gives me and my gf the place to ourselves for a few hours, we meet up only once a week, if even that. And itd be nice to have the place to ourselves without having to worry about having to keep it down (he has a strange thing about noise, where even talking at a normal volume is "being loud" our house is like a bloody convent its so quiet at times, a few weeks back he said the day after she'd been here that he could hear us having sex (we werent even being that loud, just hearing the bed creak occacionally etc, not much I can do about that!) and asked us to "keep it down in future"
wtf?! he has a gigantic tv and headphones in his room so if its that annoying to him surely he could just chuck on a loud movie or something, its not like we're shaking the walls we actually try to keep it down, but at the same time you want to enjoy it as well, I feel like we're in my parents house sneakily trying to have sex or something. He broke up with his gf a few months back and when she was over (she lived in another part of the country) i left them have the place to themselves as well, either just met up with the lads or went to the cinema, he didnt ask me to I just did it, its not too much to ask for the same in return is it? he's created this little silent bubble for himself where any noise is a disturbance, now I like my peace and quiet as much as the next person but this is ridiculous, the house is always deathly silent, I wouldnt mind at all if he had on music or the tv just for background noise, its driving me mental. Even people who come over on the rare occassions where they do feel uncomfortable as he's always giving out that people are speaking too loudly (as in at completely normal volume like a regular person)

Stheno

Have you ever actually asked him if you could have some time to yourself with your gf?

To be fair it is his house too, and if he's unemployed he may not have the money to head out for a few hours and go wherever.

SheRa

Ok its great that you gave him space in the house when he had a gf but he's not obliged to do the same. Actually i feel really sorry for him, i imagine that he picks up on your annoyance and feels like an outsider in his own home. Maybe you and the gf should get your own place.

Overheal

I'll never understand people that agree to share accomodation and expect to have the house to themselves.

For that matter its not a Time-Share either. You cant tell him to sod off for 2 hours no more than he can You.

Neither of you has any "Rights" about this one issue. Just find a solution that suits both of you.

LegacyUser

Overheal wrote: »

I'll never understand people that agree to share accomodation and expect to have the house to themselves.

For that matter its not a Time-Share either. You cant tell him to sod off for 2 hours no more than he can You.

Neither of you has any "Rights" about this one issue. Just find a solution that suits both of you.

Its not like I expect it all the time, anyone who is in a relationship and living with someone else surely understands its nice to have the place to yourself for a few hours once in a while. My point is if he gets so annoyed by even the slightest bit of noise (he gave out me once because i accidentally dropped a book on my bedroom floor) then he cant expect everyone to tiptoe around all the time just to suit him. getting a place with the gf isnt an option right now as much as we'd like to.
As for asking him for space, well he had no qualms about asking me the same a few times when he was in his previous relationship, and I didnt complain about it just found something to do, I didnt feel obliged to and told him no a few times but I still got where he was coming from, and gave him his space when he needed it, its like everything is set up to suit him and only him all the time.

tenchi-fan

I love my house. It's only me here at the moment. I'll admit it's a hassle having no one to share bills with but I don't mind paying extra for my own space. I think you should consider doing the same!

I found over the years whether I shared with 1 or 8 people, I always ended up falling out with one. If it wasn't about someone having their tv too loud, it was over silly things like teaspoons being left in the sink.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Maybe, just maybe op you should be the one leaving the house and finding solitude elsewhere, like a hotel room. If it's such a problem, why don't you find somewhere to go? It's his place too, he pays rent and is entitled to stay in that house as much as he wants. Why do you want him out of it when your OH comes over? What's the big deal? Move out if it's such a problem...

krudler

Laney Some Matchmaker wrote: »

Maybe, just maybe op you should be the one leaving the house and finding solitude elsewhere, like a hotel room. If it's such a problem, why don't you find somewhere to go? It's his place too, he pays rent and is entitled to stay in that house as much as he wants. Why do you want him out of it when your OH comes over? What's the big deal? Move out if it's such a problem...

yeah he should pay for a hotel room every time he wants to have sex in his own house with his girlfriend:rolleyes: Anyone whos ever shared a house or flat knows theres times where you should give the other person space should they need it, stamping your feet and proclaiming its your house and you wont leave is a bit childish, living with someone is all give and take both ways, fair enough it is his house too but its a bit much to never, ever even consider leaving you have the place for an hour or two.
If you've done the same for him before then ask him politely if he wouldnt mind, hes under no obligation to of course, but anyone with a bit of cop on would realise that its nice to give your housemate some space occasionally.If he wants to live in his own little bubble as you put it he should be living alone.

My gf lived with 5 other girls last summer and they all asked for a bit of space every now and then and nobody complained, its just something you do when you live with people

S23

Bottom line is this lad doesn't have to get out of the house if he doesn't want to. He's unemployed and his friends aren't in the area. Doesn't sound like he have a whole heap of spare cash to be making himself scarce for a night at the weekend.

Its also not his fault you meet your girlfriend only once a week for a few hours. I don't know the ins and outs of it (and its your own business anyway) but meeting a person only once a week for a few hours sounds like a fcuk buddy (albeit perhaps a glorified one). And theres absolutely no way he should be expected to flee the house just so you can get your nuts.

Yeah its not a great situation but its not his problem. If you want your own space or space with your girlfriend then you need to get your own place/place together.

I know you think hes being terribly selfish and all the rest of it but really hes not.

ztoical

unreg12345678 wrote: »

he broke up with his gf a few months back and when she was over (she lived in another part of the country) i left them have the place to themselves as well, either just met up with the lads or went to the cinema, he didnt ask me to I just did it, its not too much to ask for the same in return is it?

Did you ask? Just cus you didn't need to be asked to leave doesn't mean he doesn't. Was he aware at all that the reason you left when his GF was over was to give them space? Did he say thank you or mention it all to you after? He might not have been aware that was what you were doing at all....maybe he thought you didn't like the GF. How much notice does he get when your GF is going to be staying? You need to have a sit down just the two of you and come to some agreement that suits you both, you are both after all paying rent so you both should be happy but it may mean both you having to compromise - you both should be able to feel comfortable in the house...if not then you should consider moving.

Dord

So,... he split with his girlfriend a few months ago and has been isolating himself from others. Did you speak to him about this or maybe stop and think that he has a problem?

Hrududu

The post makes me feel bad for the housemate. He's unemployed, his friends live elsewhere, your descriptions almost make him sound depressed. With no cash, no friends and not a drinker what do you want him to do?

Monkey61

Welcome to the jolly world of flat-sharing OP!

You cannot expect someone to flee their own home to give you and the girlfriend some space. That's not how it works.

I live with 3 other people and rarely get a second alone with my girlfriend in the house. God I'd love to just have a whole evening sitting in front of the telly with her or cooking dinner or something - but this never happens because it is a shared house. Even when we hide out in my room it's still not the most romantic of settings because the tv is blasting from the living room, people are chatting and clattering around the house etc - yeah it's a pain in the ass, but that's how it is when you live with people. Solution - we are saving our asses off and moving in together in a few months.

And honestly, I'd say it is a bit off putting overhearing someone having sex in a small house, especially if your housemate has recently broken up with someone and is feeling a bit low. It's not hard to keep it down (jesus I'd be mortified if any of my housemates heard me), if the bed creaks that badly, throw some blankets down on the floor perhaps. If you want to go totally wild - get a hotel room for the night.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

krudler wrote: »

yeah he should pay for a hotel room every time he wants to have sex in his own house with his girlfriend:rolleyes:

It's definately a more logical solution than asking your house mate to leave the house for a few hours because you want to bang your moth...

Anyone whos ever shared a house or flat knows theres times where you should give the other person space should they need it,

Rubbish... absolute crap.

stamping your feet and proclaiming its your house and you wont leave is a bit childish,

It sure is, but who's stamping their feet and proclaiming the house is theres?

living with someone is all give and take both ways, fair enough it is his house too but its a bit much to never, ever even consider leaving you have the place for an hour or two.

Why not? Why exactly should he leave? So the op is not embarrassed? Please... :rolleyes:

If you've done the same for him before then ask him politely if he wouldnt mind, hes under no obligation to of course, but anyone with a bit of cop on would realise that its nice to give your housemate some space occasionally.

What do they call this type of arguement? "If you agree with this type of thing then you're a thick" "anybody with a bit of cop on would realise that it's nice to give your housemate some space occasionally"? I would love to know...

I take it they have their own rooms, why the hell should the op get his flatmate out of the house? Why should he have to move? If the op wants alone time, then find it else where, don't put other people out for your selfish ways.

If he wants to live in his own little bubble as you put it he should be living alone.

If the op doesn't want another person in the house while banging his missus, it's he who needs a place of his own, not the OPs flatmate...

My gf lived with 5 other girls last summer and they all asked for a bit of space every now and then and nobody complained, its just something you do when you live with people

Not it's not, it's a load of crap. Did your GF ask them to move out for a few days so she could have some "space"? Anybody asked me to leave the house for a few hours because they wanted sex, i'd tell them abruptly to feck off. The cheek of them.

How exactly did it work in your GF's house? A bit of space meaning what exactly? Stop haning out? Or leave the house altogether... In fact this is something you do NOT do when living with people, it's ignorant.

mood

S23 wrote: »

Bottom line is this lad doesn't have to get out of the house if he doesn't want to. He's unemployed and his friends aren't in the area. Doesn't sound like he have a whole heap of spare cash to be making himself scarce for a night at the weekend.

Its also not his fault you meet your girlfriend only once a week for a few hours. I don't know the ins and outs of it (and its your own business anyway) but meeting a person only once a week for a few hours sounds like a fcuk buddy (albeit perhaps a glorified one). And theres absolutely no way he should be expected to flee the house just so you can get your nuts.

Yeah its not a great situation but its not his problem. If you want your own space or space with your girlfriend then you need to get your own place/place together.

I know you think hes being terribly selfish and all the rest of it but really hes not.

+1

Maybe you should just move out and find a house or apt with thicker walls!

Firetrap

It is annoying but that's the downside of house sharing. Have you thought about moving out if it's that much of a problem? Sounds to me like this chap isn't much of a friend anymore.

Eve_Dublin

He just broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job and now his housemate is pissed off with but won't confront him. OP you need to look at your priorities here. You call him your friend but you aren't acting like a friend. You need to talk to him about this instead of bitching behind his back like this. I know myself when I broke up with exes in the past I was ultra sensitive to other couples...in fact I was ultra sensitive full stop and was cranky with those around me but my friends and family knew what was up and let it slide. Put your self in his shoes and have a little bit of empathy here. Only way your going to sort this out is by talking to him in a non-confrontational manner. Get to the root of the problem and find out what's up with him and offer your help like a friend is supposed to do.

krudler

Laney Some Matchmaker wrote: »

How exactly did it work in your GF's house? A bit of space meaning what exactly? Stop haning out? Or leave the house altogether... In fact this is something you do NOT do when living with people, it's ignorant.

Well for an example she cooked me dinner one night and the rest of them said they'd leave us to it so it could be a bit more intimate and they went to the local for a few hours, it was really appreciated even though we didnt ask them, and she often did the same when they had dates or guys over, think you've got the wrong idea about what being an ignorant housemate means since you sound like one yourself.

BongoJuice

There should be a bit of give and take. If you ask him nicely than he may consent to giving you the place for a few hours now and again. Alternatively you could spell it out in fists to the tosser.

mood

BongoJuice wrote: »

There should be a bit of give and take. If you ask him nicely than he may consent to giving you the place for a few hours now and again. Alternatively you could spell it out in fists to the tosser.

The guy is unemployed therefore will have very little money. What is he meant to do while giving the OP space? Wonder the streets for hours!

WindSock

Tell him next time you have your girlfriend around you intend to have very noisy sex. It's not as if it is all the time, so it's his problem, not yours.

cafecolour

Well, as said, you can't be asking him to leave (even for a bit), but if he's becoming a control freak about noise like you describe, that's ridiculous. Perhaps he's jealous you still have friends/a girlfriend and is trying to stop them from coming over?

Honestly, I'd just find a new flat - there's plenty of shares going now that are quite cheap. It's not worth the headwreck.

Put music on to cover up the sound the next time your GF comes over and you're having sex. If he complains the music is too loud, tell him he can either hear the music or you two going at it.

LegacyUser

WindSock wrote: »

Tell him next time you have your girlfriend around you intend to have very noisy sex. It's not as if it is all the time, so it's his problem, not yours.

We dont have noisy sex in any way,we honestly try our best to keep it down to the point where we're not making any noise whatsover, thats not exactly fun. I heard him and his ex having sex plenty of times, it didnt bother me I just put on headphones or turned up the tv a bit(he complained about this as well as the tv was disturbing them ffs) you can literally hear a pin drop in our house its so quiet, its actually unnerving living somewhere that quiet,and im not exactly someone that stomps around making noise, it annoys me as well but theres a tolerant level you just accept in daily life like everyone does, its impossible to make zero noise doing stuff around the house, if i put on music or tv and its barely at an audible volume in my room he complains, if I close the fridge and it makes noise, complains, opens the cutlery drawer and the contents rattle around, complains.
He gives out that the postman opens the letterbox too loudly "in the morning" we dont get out post until after 12pm most days, he sleeps in until 3pm or even later every day, anything earlier than 1pm is "early in the morning" to him.He asked why I was having a shower "so early" the other day,as the noise woke him up, I had a shower at 1.30pm on a weekday ffs. Its like he has no concept of what living a normal life is, I compltely get its his house as well but its all take and no give with him, everything suits him and the hell with anyone else. People on here are acting like I demanded he leave every time I want, its not like that at all, I literally bend over backwards to make things suit him and get shag all thanks for it, I think its time I just let him complain all he wants and start living in my own house the way I want. As for him being unemployed (voluntarily I may add, he quit his last job) and having no money, when theres something he wants to buy he always finds the cash but when it comes to his half of the bills its always "ah I'll have it next week, there was a dvd I really wanted to buy today". And the irony of it all is when I suggested we have a small housewarming and invite people over, maybe get him socialising a bit (he always complains he doesnt go out enough, yet always says no when I invite him out with my friends) he said to let him know what night I wanted to have it so he could "make himself scarce for the evening"

MD!

it sounds to me like your housemate has depression and maybe he needs to talk to someone like a counsellor. i think there is more to his behaviour than just being uptight. it seems like everything was ok until his relationship broke down. maybe he is not fully over that and is taking this out on you. i dunno how guys sort out their personal problems but it sounds like he needs to talk to someone before the situation gets any worse.

ztoical

unred12345678 wrote: »

People on here are acting like I demanded he leave every time I want, its not like that at all

People were basing their replies on your first post which was lacking alot of the details you've posted here so you can't blame them for siding more with the flatmate cus frankly he came off better in your first post. You didn't mention he'd quit his job or sleeping in late or that there had been any issue with paying bills etc etc.

To be honest you've two options, have a sit down and lay everything out on the table and try to agree on some house rules or something that suits you both or move out.

mood

I would just move out.

reprazant

Laney Some Matchmaker wrote: »

Not it's not, it's a load of crap. Did your GF ask them to move out for a few days so she could have some "space"? Anybody asked me to leave the house for a few hours because they wanted sex, i'd tell them abruptly to feck off. The cheek of them.

How exactly did it work in your GF's house? A bit of space meaning what exactly? Stop haning out? Or leave the house altogether... In fact this is something you do NOT do when living with people, it's ignorant.

Have you actually ever lived with people? You sound like you haven't because it is a very common thing when living with different people.

When I lived with people, if somebody asked for some quiet time, you would just leave for a few hours - go to the cinema, go for a walk, whatever, its not difficult.

Telling the people you live with to feck off when they ask a simple request is not something that would be great for housemate relations. Its not as if it is a difficult thing to do.

I would say that telling someone you live with to feck off when the made a simple request would be the height of ignorance but then again, maybe thats just me. I know I would do it as telling them to do one when they asked a simple request like that would greatly increase the chances of them telling me to do one if I made some sort of request from them.

Danniboo

I haven't read all posts so chances are i'm repeating what's already been said. This guy is under no obligation to disappear for you and your girlfriend. It's his place, he pays rent, your girlfriend doesn't. If you feel he's been completely unreasonable about the noise thing then bring it up with your landlord. This guy can be in the house 24/7 if he chooses if you're not happy about this why don't you and the girlfriend move in togehter.

Dark Phoenix

Your housemate does not have to leave you be thats fair enough. However the noise obsession is just bizarre he cannot expect to live in silence. If he is complaining about the likes of the postbox and the fridge door being 'too noisy' then suggest he has his hearing / ears checked as there is something wrong there!
You are both paying rent so just go about your business and to be honest if he finds the normal noise of someone living there too much to bear then he needs to think about living by himself somewhere else.
While you can't expect him to leave when your girlfriends is over he cannot expect complete silence in a house he is sharing with someone or for you and the girlfriend not to make a sound just to keep him happy.

krudler

reprazant wrote: »

Have you actually ever lived with people? You sound like you haven't because it is a very common thing when living with different people.

When I lived with people, if somebody asked for some quiet time, you would just leave for a few hours - go to the cinema, go for a walk, whatever, its not difficult.

Telling the people you live with to feck off when they ask a simple request is not something that would be great for housemate relations. Its not as if it is a difficult thing to do.

I would say that telling someone you live with to feck off when the made a simple request would be the height of ignorance but then again, maybe thats just me. I know I would do it as telling them to do one when they asked a simple request like that would greatly increase the chances of them telling me to do one if I made some sort of request from them.

Exactly, I often make myself scarce for a few hours if the housemate has a girl over or even friends and just wants to chill out by themselves, I dont feel unwelcome and neither does the flatmate when i ask if me and the missus can have the sitting room to ourselves to watch a movie and cuddle up and stuff, honestly do most people want to sit there while their flatmate canoodles with the other half? If it was all the time and you were asking him to leave for no reason, thatd be a problem, but to do it once in a while? perfectly acceptable imo, its something that goes along with living with people

mood

Dark Phoenix wrote: »

Your housemate does not have to leave you be thats fair enough. However the noise obsession is just bizarre he cannot expect to live in silence. If he is complaining about the likes of the postbox and the fridge door being 'too noisy' then suggest he has his hearing / ears checked as there is something wrong there!
You are both paying rent so just go about your business and to be honest if he finds the normal noise of someone living there too much to bear then he needs to think about living by himself somewhere else.
While you can't expect him to leave when your girlfriends is over he cannot expect complete silence in a house he is sharing with someone or for you and the girlfriend not to make a sound just to keep him happy.

Agree 100%.

Bottle_of_Smoke

He sounds like an oddball and pretty unpleasant to live with.

I used to live with just one other guy and it would be completely normal for either one of us to say "hey can you make yourself scarce, girl coming around"

I don't think its worth living with someone if you don't have that understanding, I'd look somewhere else if I were you.

Complaining that you had music on while he was having sex? Really f*cking weird.

yogy

OP I can see your frustration but didn't you say this guy was your friend and not just a flat mate?

He's either boring or depressed. It's interesting you felt the need to mention he didn't drink, a very Irish thing. You say he has very few friends. Well in a step that will be of mutual benefit why not introduce him to some of your friends? Or try and get him interested in something that would require him to leave the house (moreso for his sake than yours!).

I don't know what kind of people you guys are but you could try and get him into a new hobby. Maybe ask him to go for a run with you in the evenings and then when your gf is over for conjugal duties he might decide to go on his own. Just an example.

Firstly thou, you should talk to him about the situation. Maybe in asking him he might open up and tell you why he's always in the house i.e. lonely, depressed.

If that doesn't work, and he gives you nothing then simply make your excuses and move out. It's a renter's market out there!

tetsuo_83

I just posted this as an unregistered user, but screw it I might aswell just post this as normal... just so you can be positive its not mistaken identity (mods feel free to delete the identical post)....

Wow i'm really sorry I stumbled onto this thread... I'm well aware this thread is about me.

Ok, firstly half of what youve written is a complete fabrication in an attempt to sway people to your side. I never complained about the post coming, the fridge door and cutlery drawer (?!?!?!), never complained about you taking a shower, and didnt complain about you and your other half having sex... I jokingly said "oh Ive heard things I didnt want to last night, these are some creaky ass beds"... once. And as for complaining about you playing music while having sex..... when?!?!?! Although this does explain why you keep asking are you up to anything tonight when she's coming over and why you seemed to get pissed off when I cancelled going to my cousins thing.

I've never not paid my half of any of the bills, and although I did ask a few times if I could give you my half next week that was over 2 and a half years ago when I was in a very low paid job, and admittedly it was usually for stupid reasons like I had spent money on a DVD.... I apologise and I wont ask again.

I also didn't quit my job... I was made redundant. I was given the option of taking a redundancy payment or taking a job which was vastly different in atmosphere to the one I was in. I chose the payment so I could pay off my car loan.

I'm not much of a social person, never have been, maybe I am living a sad little life but ive always kept a small circle of friends having been burned a few times in the past.... so much for thinking you were one of them. If this is what you're saying to strangers I cant imagine what your girlfriend and other friends must think of me.

I'm not going to be childish and list anything you do that annoys me, I'll just say this the first time either of us ever complained about noise it was you, because your girlfriend couldnt sleep one night, and admittedly yup I have asked you turn down your TV.... mostly because you have a subwoofer attatched to it, and in fairness never ask you to turn it down when your cousin or friends are over, just when your on your own and your expensive headphones would probably suffice.

When you live with somebody you learn to live with the little things or approach them about the things you cant live with... I wish you asked me just once If I wouldnt mind giving ye some alone time (although in fairness I dont even leave my room when she's over) rather than trying to gain support on an internet forum by exagerrating and flat out lying.... oh well I guess.

Also why do you ask my advice about so many things and act like a friend if you feel this way about me??

Oh and dont worry I wont point out which boards member you are, so feel free to reply as anonymous, or y'know..... actually talk to me in person, i'm like three feet away.

Cheap Thrills!

^^Fair play housemate. Goes to show there are 2 sides to every story.

I think OP should have spoken to your directly in the first place and saved himself a few blushes.

tetsuo_83

His blushes are saved, like I said I wont point out who he is or get into an arguement on a forum..... this is embarassing enough as it is (edit: because I know there are people from other forums who will recognise my username)

mood

tetsuo_83 wrote: »

I just posted this as an unregistered user, but screw it I might aswell just post this as normal... just so you can be positive its not mistaken identity (mods feel free to delete the identical post)....

Wow i'm really sorry I stumbled onto this thread... I'm well aware this thread is about me.

Ok, firstly half of what youve written is a complete fabrication in an attempt to sway people to your side. I never complained about the post coming, the fridge door and cutlery drawer (?!?!?!), never complained about you taking a shower, and didnt complain about you and your other half having sex... I jokingly said "oh Ive heard things I didnt want to last night, these are some creaky ass beds"... once. And as for complaining about you playing music while having sex..... when?!?!?! Although this does explain why you keep asking are you up to anything tonight when she's coming over and why you seemed to get pissed off when I cancelled going to my cousins thing.

I've never not paid my half of any of the bills, and although I did ask a few times if I could give you my half next week that was over 2 and a half years ago when I was in a very low paid job, and admittedly it was usually for stupid reasons like I had spent money on a DVD.... I apologise and I wont ask again.

I also didn't quit my job... I was made redundant. I was given the option of taking a redundancy payment or taking a job which was vastly different in atmosphere to the one I was in. I chose the payment so I could pay off my car loan.

I'm not much of a social person, never have been, maybe I am living a sad little life but ive always kept a small circle of friends having been burned a few times in the past.... so much for thinking you were one of them. If this is what you're saying to strangers I cant imagine what your girlfriend and other friends must think of me.

I'm not going to be childish and list anything you do that annoys me, I'll just say this the first time either of us ever complained about noise it was you, because your girlfriend couldnt sleep one night, and admittedly yup I have asked you turn down your TV.... mostly because you have a subwoofer attatched to it, and in fairness never ask you to turn it down when your cousin or friends are over, just when your on your own and your expensive headphones would probably suffice.

When you live with somebody you learn to live with the little things or approach them about the things you cant live with... I wish you asked me just once If I wouldnt mind giving ye some alone time (although in fairness I dont even leave my room when she's over) rather than trying to gain support on an internet forum by exagerrating and flat out lying.... oh well I guess.

Also why do you ask my advice about so many things and act like a friend if you feel this way about me??

Oh and dont worry I wont point out which boards member you are, so feel free to reply as anonymous, or y'know..... actually talk to me in person, i'm like three feet away.

Why do you think this is about you if a lot of what is said is not true in your case? Maybe is just someone in a similar situation and what they have said is true in their case!

tetsuo_83

mood wrote: »

Why do you think this is about you if a lot of what is said is not true in your case? Maybe is just someone in a similar situation and what they have said is true in their case!

If I gave you a definitive answer to that question I'd be doing exactly what I said I wouldnt do and pointing out who this person is and he likes this forum... so just take my word for it... its about me.

Oh, and you were right OP, I should browse boards personal issues forum some time it can be hilarious!

Cheap Thrills!

I'm talking about blushes in terms of conjuring up an 'issue' in his head without ever talking to you directly about it and posting about it on the web instead....

From your post you seem totally approachable and un-petty, so the drama from him was uneccessary.

tetsuo_83

Well i'm not perfect... nobody is, I have flaws im aware of and im sure flaws im completely oblivious to that are glaringly obvious to other.... but I know this much, im good to my friends, I help when I can, I give them things without asking for anything in return and to be honest this sucks. Im genuinely hurt by this..... im not looking for public apologies or anything... infact if the OP is okay with it i'd rather this just vanished from the net altogether.

Dave!

What do you say when he tells you to keep it down? "Okay sorry"?

If you feel you're being quiet then tell him so, let him know that you're not gonna tip-toe around, that it's a house, not a library.

LegacyUser

op here, mods can this thread be locked and deleted if possible, issue is resolved.