Relationship Endgame-how to tell someone

LegacyUser

Hey

Understandably anonymous for this one. Been seeing a great girl for over 6 months now but I think its running out of road.

In the past I don't think I've ever ended a relationship 'well' and I'm here looking for a bit of guidance on what to say, how, when etc

I've been tetchy with her lately and I know that's unfair. Can't see a future with her really, another (not inconsiderable) issue is that we haven't slept together yet. I was happy to be patient but its gotten to the stage where I've given up trying or waiting really,don't consider her in a sexual way anymore. Also having thoughts/feelings/lusts etc about someone else that I know I just shouldn't be having if I thought more about the girl I'm with. I know the thing to do is break up. She's brill but really she's more a friend than anything now. Hate the idea of losing the craic we have but it's got to be done.

don't want her to think we'd have a future if she'd been 'easier' or her thinking in future relationships that she'll have to not wait.

Any guidance welcome.

Miss Fluff

Be honest with her (within reason) and don't give her false hope of getting back together.

Tell her that while fond of her, you see her more as a friend and that you don't see you having a future together as a couple.

Tell her you don't want to string her along/give her false hope.

Don't tell her that you may get back together some day. Or don't tell her you want to suddenly be best friends with her. Also do not tell her that you have the hots for someone else.

Meet her face to face and when arranging the meeting by phone pre-empt it by telling her that there's something you need to talk to her about. This might go some way towards preparing her that it's not good news.

LegacyUser

Hi Op i was in a very similar position a while ago, was going out with a girl for a year and it had run its course romantically. we had a great time together and great fun but towards the end the sex was non existant and it felt for me like we were just friend who slept in the same bed. i had to end it, it wasnt what i wanted anymore. its horrible that you have to hurt someone you care about but its for the best.
the only advice i can give you is be honest with her, tell her you feel its run its course and you dont see her the way you used to. thats my opinion on it anyway

LegacyUser

Cheers for the comment, pub?restaurant?car? (I'm seriously inexperiencd at the 'best' way to do this-cut and RUN is the preferred option up to now)

LegacyUser

testimony wrote: »

Cheers for the comment, pub?restaurant?car? (I'm seriously inexperiencd at the 'best' way to do this-cut and RUN is the preferred option up to now)

personally i would do it somewhere private

ash23

Go somewhere private.
Tell her that you feel the relationship has reached the end for you, that you don't feel the same way and you want to call it a day.

Don't make excuses, don't get drawn into petty reasons. Just tell her you don't feel the same way. Don't blame her but don't take the blame either.

Don't try to stay friends. Just walk away, tell her you hope she'll be happy. But don't patronise her by telling her how great she is and how she'll move on etc. Thats not what she needs to hear.

She needs to walk away knowing only the following...that its over, that you aren't going to change your mind and that there's nothing that can be done to make you change your mind.

Lux23

If she hasn't slept with you, would you not think that she feels the same way. Just be honest with her but you may find she's feeling exactly the same way.

countryliving

definitely have the courage to meet this girl and tell her - she deserves to know.
if your not able to tell her face to face - just write her a very honest letter.
don't beat yourself up - sometimes these things happen and relationships run their course.
good luck - you'll be fine.

Apres Moi

Do it in her house, maybe not if she lives with her parents, but in any case somewhere private that's 'her' turf.

She will probably be very upset and cry. She might even be angry and may say really nasty things. DO NOT retaliate. Understand that she's trying to hurt you like you're hurting her.

Be strong, if you're certain you want to break up. Don't double back.

Be honest, but don't be cruel.

Don't stay longer than an hour, don't hug her when you leave (implies reconciliation). Don't contact her at all for at least 2 weeks. You can meet to give back any stuff you might have to then. After that, don't contact her at all for a minimum of 6 months. Don't call or text her. If she calls or texts you, politely say that you think it's too early for contact.

Be kind, break ups hurt like a b*tch.

Monkey61

I'll definitely echo the private place suggestion.

Don't do it in a pub or restaurant. Silly it may be, but I was dumped in a pub once and I still cannot walk past that place without shuddering and feeling a bit sick!

Keep it brief but give specific reasons as well. Don't be cruel obviously, but there is nothing worse than being dumped and not understanding why.