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Girl at Work

  • 19-03-2010 5:25am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey Everyone, Just looking for your opinion on this, There is a girl at work who I really like. I plucked up the courage to ask her out last year, She pretty much turned me down, she said that there was stuff going on with her then but didn't say what it was, but she would like to sometime, just not then. I thought that she was just trying to let me down gently so backed off, we pretty much stopped texting. That was fine, I saw her around work and we chatted a bit. I had kinda got over it and I started seeing somebody else. I have now finished with that person and out of the blue last month got a text from the girl in work wishing me a Happy Birthday. Since that text, we have been texting alot, most days! We have been getting on really well in work and have kinda been flirting. The problem is, I am now starting to really like her again but dont know whether we are just in the Friend Circle! I know for a fact that she isn't a big texter but we do text alot! Do you guys think I would be wrong to try and pursue this?

    I am afraid that if I do ask her out again, it will ruin what we have but I am also thinking if she wasn't interested then why text, especially if she turned me down last year. Could it be a case that now is a better time?? a ladies perspective would be nice as I am so confused!


Comments

  • #2
    Kimia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,897 ✭✭✭Kimia


    Give her one more chance. Ask her out. If she is wishy washy with you again, leave it. She's definitely not interested. That's all you need to do!

    From a girl's perspective, if I really liked someone, I would have said yes the first time, no matter what I was going through. Although that's me and that may not be true of everyone, which is why she deserves a second chance.

    But not a third! Don't be that guy. Just ask her once more and then go from there.


  • #3
    kmick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,375 ✭✭✭kmick


    Kimia wrote: »
    Give her one more chance. Ask her out. If she is wishy washy with you again, leave it. She's definitely not interested. That's all you need to do!

    From a girl's perspective, if I really liked someone, I would have said yes the first time, no matter what I was going through. Although that's me and that may not be true of everyone, which is why she deserves a second chance.

    But not a third! Don't be that guy. Just ask her once more and then go from there.

    + 1 give it a shot. Do it now before you get too wound up in your head about it.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    kmick wrote: »
    + 1 give it a shot. Do it now before you get too wound up in your head about it.

    speaking from experience do it now before you do get into the friend zone. wish i had been told that.


  • #5
    katie99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 206 ✭✭katie99


    I wouldn't be so gung ho about asking her out immediately!
    She spurned your advances once. Once too many.
    She hurt you. I don't understand what she meant by telling you she had things going on in her life she had to sort out.
    Nothing, except another bf, should prevent a woman accepting or declining an invitation to go out with a guy.
    The fact that she is texting you now means she is probably short of friends.
    And she wants to be your friend.
    If you do pluck up the courage to ask her out, ask her has she overcome whatever was the problem for her last time.
    Tread carefully


  • #6
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    It's just going to get more and more awkward the longer you leave it to ask her out, I'd ask now before she considers you "just a friend" or you become attached enough to her that a knock back will really hurt.

    Best of luck! :)


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  • #7
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    How would she know your birthday or be conscious that it was that particular day? I'm not sure I would put myself out there again. She knows you like her, I think you got your answer the last time.


  • #8
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,333 ✭✭✭santana75


    The consensus would be to ask her out again but I dont agree. You asked her already and she said no. For whatever reasons, a no is still a no. The ball is in her court now and if she does want to go out with you Id leave it up to her. There is absolutley no reason why she cant ask you out so if she wants to she'll have to step up to the plate and ask, just like you did already. You've done your part already, do not go chasing after her. If it doesnt happen so be it, you can walk away knowing you did your fair share.


  • #9
    anomalous
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 102 ✭✭anomalous


    santana75 wrote: »
    The consensus would be to ask her out again but I dont agree. You asked her already and she said no. For whatever reasons, a no is still a no. The ball is in her court now and if she does want to go out with you Id leave it up to her. There is absolutley no reason why she cant ask you out so if she wants to she'll have to step up to the plate and ask, just like you did already. You've done your part already, do not go chasing after her. If it doesnt happen so be it, you can walk away knowing you did your fair share.

    i agree totaly if she is now "ready" then why doesnt she ask you out - especially as she has rejected you once before i wouldnt expect someone to ask me a 2nd time


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It sounds like she's playing with you. I've done this with guys when I'm bored, especially when I know there'y really into me.


  • #11
    gavney1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭gavney1


    OP, I have to agree with Santana. The ball is well and truly in her court.

    At the same time, there may well have been something going on with her when you asked her out before, but you need to leave her to make the next move.


    I've been through something similar recently myself, where I ended up doing all the pursuing for a while with a girl who seemed interested but not that interested. I ended up getting burned.

    And I just made a thread yesterday about a friend of mine who's been dragged along for months by a girl who was just never that into him.

    Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that this girl is not interested in you, but if she is you just have to let her make the move IMO


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  • #12
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey Guys, Thanks for the replies. I still haven't done anything and probably wont. I think you are probably right. Apart from the odd bit of flirting and the odd "Hey Hun" in the texts there is nothing to suggest that she likes me that way! We have a work project coming up which means we will be working alone together once a week so I guess I will see if there is any flirting etc! Its a crap situation because I really like this girl and think about her all the time! Ah well, I guess there are plenty more fish in the sea for a nice guy like me!

    Thanks Again Guys!


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