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Is this normal??

  • 18-03-2010 4:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all, well i've been seeing my BF for about six months now, at the start i wasn't looking for a relationship as i'd been through a difficult long term break up, took two years out, dated a few guys in between but was just enjoying myself and life and we met and things progressed naturally. He pursued me more so and i began to let him in, open up and trust him (which is so hard for me considering what happened previously, i've never told my BF the full story), well all seems to be going great, i try to take things one day at a time and am sort of afraid (well more terrified) to plan anything or ask anything of him, i guess even to lean on him and make myself vunerable. We did speak about this and i told him some of my fears and he seemed great and reassuring. The only issue i have is that sometimes he goes off into his own little world, and i've noticed this happening quite a bit lately. When we're together, he'll make excuses to leave whereas before he would have stayed. I don't ever put pressure on him to do anything as i'm not a dependent person but now it's getting to the stage where i don't know what to expect at all. I'm half afraid to ask but i hate not knowing, or feeling secure i guess. I really don't think i know how to have a normal relationship anymore!! What i want is to feel content and secure and at the moment i'm not feeling that. Any advice appreciated. :)


Comments

  • #2
    pilph
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 48 ✭pilph


    I think talking is the only way to go. Find out why he leaves, but not in an accusing sort of way, just say you're curious.

    Sometimes I feel I just need space from my girlfriend. It's not that she does anything wrong, she's the best in the world, but time on your own can be important if you're not getting enough of it. But if that is causing you to worry, then you need to get it out in the open.


  • #3
    shoes34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 620 ✭✭✭shoes34


    Hi,

    I would talk to him as this is what happened with me and my ex- he would go really quiet at times and I didn't mind that but there was things I wish I had asked him as I ended up feeling insecure and didn't know where the relationship was going and like you I am not a dependable person but I just started to feel insecure towards the end.

    Sit down and have a chat over a cuppa and best of luck.

    :)


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